Should I ask this girl out with an obvious conflict of interest?

[Cyclic]

I've been thinking about making a big commitment to a volunteer organization and went to an informational meeting a few nights ago. It turned out that the recruiter was a very cute girl with a great personality and I'd love to get to know her better.

 

The problem (aside from being gutless at these sorts of things) is that there is an obvious conflict of interest. From my understanding she would be the one that would interview me for the volunteer position. Frankly I'm not yet certain I can even make this commitment at this point in time, but it is something that I'd like to get started as the application process can take a long time. I have no idea if my application can be handled by another recruiter in another city.

 

In addition to this conflict of interest all I have to contact her through is her office & office phone number. So should I even try asking her out? And if so how in the hell do I do that? I can be shy and socially inept to say the least.

[pinkrobot]

Why not wait until after she interviews you before asking her out?

[Cyclic]

Why not wait until after she interviews you before asking her out?

 

I don't know how long that will take. My impression is that it could be as soon as a month, or as long as 6 months depending on how committed I am to the process. I guess I should just say that this is the peace corps. If I do commit to it (and was accepted) then I would be leaving in about 12 months and be gone for 27 months. That would pretty much kill any chance of any sort of relationship I think...

 

I'm still very much in the air about doing it. I have pets that I would be hard pressed to part with.

[pinkrobot]

If it's the peace corps I wouldn't bother...terrible time to start dating someone.

[Cyclic]

If it's the peace corps I wouldn't bother...terrible time to start dating someone.

 

Well normally I'd agree with you. But then that sort of logic has gotten me where I am today: Almost 26, few friends, and only ever went on a date with a girl because I said screw the excuses, just try it out. There are plenty of reasons why I shouldn't. Even if I wasn't thinking about the peace corps my work can't guarantee I'll be in the same region for more than 6 months...

 

Frankly I'm done with those excuses. They have gotten me nowhere and frankly I think they are incompatible with modern western society.

[pinkrobot]

The only reason I say don't bother is because I was engaged once, had been with the guy almost 4 years...and he decided he was going to join the peace corps. Even after 4 years with a person I wasn't willing to continue a relationship in which I wouldn't see him for 2 years. Of course, I can't speak for this girl--I can't say she'd do the same thing, I don't know her at all. But what's the point in starting something if you know you'll be leaving for 2 years?

[Cyclic]

Well that... Sucks. I could certainly understand why you'd suggest not starting anything.

 

I can't really say what I expect out of this. I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to put their life on hold if I went abroad for 2+ years. Then again I may not be accepted, I may decide I don't want to go... A lot can happen between now and the 9-12 month departure date if I were to go... You never know. What I do know is that through college and at the start of my career I've always used limited time and an unknown future as an excuse to not ask people out. Would it really be so wrong to ask her out if I don't know what the future holds? I'm not going to try and deceive her. I've been on the other side of this where I had the benefit of knowing that a girl didn't want anything serious, and it still hurt when she left. I'm not out to hurt anyone, but at the same time "nothing ventured nothing gained".

 

And really the advice I was looking for was more along the lines of the conflict of interest.