my system is now malfunctioning

[Rainswept]

Hello fellow eNotaloners

 

After being single 3 years now....I studied all my previous mistakes and all that..And I was pretty confident..I would never be eluded by a woman again...and that I would be ready for anything thrown at me..I have always been a "No Contact" master..maybe even to much for my own good ..I have studied the arts of being aloof and nonchalant..and even when I wanted to crack I would never show my cards....I have even studied some of the things my ex's did in the past..and so I even decided to study the mysterious ways of the female..and try to emulate it into my own craft...after being litterally smashed and destroyed a few years back..I started this campaign...I lost all my dignity and I fell to a womans feet..with my heart and fate in her hands..I never wanted to feel that again..So I decided to create this machine..it would be perfect in every way..plated in thick armor..and equipped with the greatest radar..which is "hind sight" so that I could spot anything before it happened..and this machine was me..I even took pride and boasted to all my friends..and when I dated some girls...they would start up with there mind games..and my system would target this...and I would quickly counter..and leave them dispatched and defeated...However I guess your wondering whats the point of this thread right?.....well my system is now malfunctioning ... I dated this girl about a month ago..and we dated and I enjoyed her company...however she started acting different...and her calls became less and less with each passing day....I quicky took notice of this and decided to dispose of her...so during these 2 weeks of "no contact" I realized I was starting to get effected and I stared to "care"...so in fear of contacting her...I decided to resort to my emergency power and leave the house , so I didn't have to be around, any ways I saw her last night..and of all the stinkin bars in the whole world...she had to walk into mine , and just to walk back out again...but before she did that..she approached me and we talked..I launched my fake smile...something I learned from females..and I also decided to diploy my witty charm..so she couldn't see that I was hurting inside...anyways what really struck me odd was..she asked me why I haven't called her...this sounded like a tactic to reveal..that I was affected by her not calling me...I intercepted her evil plan...and I just simply replied that I have been really busy...she made several attempts to melt the ice with me...such things involved flirting and innoscent touching.. but to no avail..she would ultimately give up and leave...after she left..I felt strange..I didn't understand what was happening inside of me...I wanted to get angry I wanted to cry..but I had to hide that all from my friends for a few more hours..anyways my night was ruined..and I bascially sat there with a blank expression...and pondered the whole night ..I left and stopped at a pay phone at about 3 A.M..I decided to call her..don't ask me why..I had no speech planned...luckily nobody answered the phone...I asked myself what I was doing..and I got back in my car and drove off...and when I got home I would hope just to quickly fall asleep..that would be a godsend..but instead I stayed up and questioned what I been doing all these years..this machine I created was just pure hatred in the guise of "independency"...I probably won't call her..my pride won't allow it..this is the way I am wired...I don't know how this girl came out of nowhere and threw a wrench in a perfect machine...I honestly thought I had it all figured out

 

Anyways I'm not im good shape and need some insight or if anybody can relate with me..sorry about all the dorky metaphors..I just wanted to give a better understanding..anyways thanks for reading..it helps

 

~Rainswept

[vfunkera]

Hey Rainswept,

 

Me still being very young, and out going, and still trying (and convinced) that i have got it all figured out with girls and relationships, i thank you for that post. Because i will know in the future when that special someone comes and completely changes/breaks down this 'vfunkera machine' that easily figured the others, thats when i should stop, and not let her get away.

 

Theres so many opinions i can say here. But what i will say in regard to you and as far as i can see it, is to get her back ASAP. And im pretty sure this one won't come back on No Contact. Because this one is special. This one isn't like the others that came and fell. This one is your match, the only one who came and left a taste in your mouth. You have met your match, and if i were you i wouldn't let her go and settle for less.

 

She sounds like an angel, just walking into your life, and walking away so calm and assuringly leaving you completely transformed. Ring her, text her, whatever but contact her and say you've got free time and if she can meet up for a while. Here what she has to say. Chances are she will meet, since she is interested in you. Let go of your pride for now, because you won't want to have walked away from this with regrets.

 

Good luck

[Rage]

I hate it when woman play mind games ..............WHY do they do this?

 

I made myself into a smililar machine which also malfuntioned....as a result i have made a decision to steer well clear of these evil creatures!

 

My machine is now unbreakable

[Rainswept]

Thank you vfunkera

 

I think I just might take your advice....Turn off this machine..,I guess you have to let in the bad with the good...I been a fool all these years, this girl gave me back my smile.............even if I fail to win back her hand...I want to live free of fears

 

Thanks ~rainswept

[Derek]

Cool stuff, I really like the analogy, you write the picture well...

 

vfunkera's is going up the right path...

 

Guys more than girls fall into trying to act like the stoic machine that won't be allowed to be emotionally available, let alone emotionally vulnerable.

 

But really, inside we are all little boys and girls with many personal insecurities.

 

Would it really have been that bad to admit that yes we are human and we do bleed and hurt like everyone else?

 

When the girl asks, "why didn't you call",

why can't a guy's answer be, "because I hurt".

 

Is it so weak to say things like that after all? In some ways it takes alot of guts to be honest about feelings.