So Confused, So Angry, So Sad . . .

[love-instead]

All this morning I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling that today was not going to go well.

 

I got to school and my friend Amy decided it would be a good idea to tell me bad news at the start of my day. Right Amy, thanks. Yes, of course I'd like to be miserable for the rest of my day, please do tell.

 

(A is her, D is me,)

A: Oh hey, I have bad news.

D: Please don't tell me.

A: Why not?

D: Because I don't want to know.

A: I'm telling you anyway, so Joel sent me pictures yesterday...

D: (I know where this is going, that perhaps Garrett, my best friend who I am in love with, has a girlfriend.) Please Amy, just don't tell me.

A: They're pictures of Garrett with his arm around a girl... pictures of them kissing...

D: Thanks. That made my day.

 

Garrett has had girlfriends before. I've gotten through those time with a jealous heart and many boxes of tissues, but this time its not only the fact that he has a girlfriend.

 

It's that he didn't tell me.

It's that I was somewhat convinced that he liked me.

It's that I was the last to know... again.

It's who it was.

 

Last year this girl Keyrsten went to my school and I despised her. She was just so... fake. She had her hair bleached blond with a scene haircut. She wore entirely to much makeup to the point that if she didn't wear her makeup I'm pretty sure I wouldnt recognize her in the slightest. She always tries too hard to make people like her. She burps REALLY loudly, and laughs. Really? Disgusting! Even the guys thought so!

 

Guess what?

That's Garrett's new girlfriend.

 

I have a few questions now.

How do I get over him? I've tried time and time again over the past year and a half, and it never works!

Why wouldn't he have told me about his girlfriend? He used to tell me everything! Are we growing apart?

What in the world could he find so great about her? She is not even very nice!

[AnotherDude]

Have you ever told him how you feel?

[love-instead]

I've never directly told him, because I was afraid to, but he does know.

 

Amy told him last summer, because I dunno, she thought it'd be a good idea? I never really know what goes through that girl's mind.

 

Also, earlier this year, Joel (he's in Garrett's religion class) said: "You know Demitra likes you, eh?" And all Garrett said was: "Yeah".

 

So he does know, thanks to my bigmouthed friends.

 

We've never discussed it however, or even acknowledged it. He kind of acted like he knew, not that he felt awkward around me, but he'd put his arm around my waist when we watched movies, and other types of "snuggling" or "cuddling" which lasted up until the past week when he started seeming distant... I'm thinking because of Keyrsten