Mixed signals!!

[berkvis]

Hi all,

 

I have been friends with this girl for over 5 years now and over this time my feelings for her have changed. We get on really well and spend a lot of time with each other (until recently) and many people have commented on the fact that something must be going on between us.

 

To cut a really long story short, we have been out for a few drinks with friends and have been getting on really well and having a laugh. One night a few friends came back to my place (her included) and we continued drinking and chatting until most people left. She asked if she could stay as it was really late. I agreed and said she could have my bed and I would sleep on the sofa. She said not to and to sleep in the same bed. Nothing happened! This happened a few more times in later weeks.

 

On some occasions when we have been out and I have started chatting to other women, she gets incredibly jealous. One night, I was chatting to this lady and when I popped to the loo, on my return I found she had left. My friend later told me that the girl I like had gone over and said something and this caused her to leave.

 

She comes round to see me and instead of sitting on the sofa, throws a pillow on my lap and lies down to watch tv or to chat to me.

 

Boyfriends she has treat her like dirt and she always comes to me for advice, usually in tears. I have fallen in love with her and really want to tell her but can't read the signals. I get the feeling I am just the dependable friend that she can fall back on and will always be around.

 

Recently we had a falling out over something trivial and haven't spoke for a few weeks. In this time I made my mind up to tell her how I feel and risk losing a friend, but I also feel that if I do this, then she may think that the friendship has been based on a lie and she will run a mile. I really don't think I could handle it if I lost her forever. Should I tell her how I feel?

 

Or am I just reading the signals badly?

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[berkvis]

Whoa!! Funny how people end up in the same situations. I was just reading through a text message she sent me the other day to apologise for our little disagreement and the reply I sent when I was drunk the other night.

 

Didn't realise I actually sent anything, thought I had dreamt a reply, but obviously not. I said "I miss you and love you". Her reply was "love you too", but being pessamistic, I don't believe that was anything more that a friend.

 

Thanks for the advice. I'm gonna bite the bullet tonight and give her a call after work and tell her I need to see her at some point. But, where is the best place to do it? Somewhere busy like a pub or at home when no-one else is around. (although my flat mate never seems to leave the house).

 

You said you would be interested to hear the outcome, is there another way I can let you know without posting it here.

 

Thanks again.

[miss_may]

Oh you can't really leave us hanging!

 

Did you tell her? How did she respond? I've become quite interested in the story. Could you please tell us all how it has ended?

[berkvis]

Well, nothing has happened as yet. Unfortunately I've been too busy at work and have been working every evening and into the night. I'm going to tell her this week at some point, but can't bring myself to call her. I take it a letter is a really bad way to tell her??

 

Does anyone have a better way in which I can tell her and how to tell her. I know what I need to say, but am struggling to find the right words.

 

Thanks

[berkvis]

Well, here goes......

 

I think I've blown it before I've even started. I sent her a text message earlier on to see how she was as we haven't spoke for 6 weeks since the minor disagreement (see first entry). She replied by saying she was missing her mate and what was wrong. I said that if she didn't know now then she probably never would. Backwards and forwards messages and she said that she wanted to know what was wrong so that we could make it up. I said that I wasn't really bothered by the minor argument and would call her soon. She just sent me a message that reads:

 

"I know we argue and it's usually my fault, but you're my mate and I'm always here for you. But you have to tell me what you want me to do?"

 

I'm stuck!!! I know I need to tell her face to face, but I'm to nervous and the fear of rejection is putting me off from telling her. Can anyone give me some much needed help please................this is killing me!!

 

Thanks