rican4u2002 Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 A friend who I thought was close is currently depressed and going through a rough time. However he won't tell me what's wrong, and anytime I ask he snaps at me and just tells me to not worry and let it go. Now I've let it go, but of course I'm gonna still worry about him. But it's bothering me that I thought we were close and yet he can't confide in me about what's bothering him yet I've told him about what I'm going through. I haven't talked to him yet today but I'm not so sure I want to. Because of well my situation(I have another thread about that) I'm in horrible pain today but I am concerned for him and I want to at least ask if he's okay or how he's doing. I'm not sure if I should for fear of him snapping at me again. But I did tell him that I'm worrying about him and he has to deal with that cause I'm not going to stop. I'm just not sure what I can do to make him feel better and to take his mind off of what's going on. Link to comment
codroft Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Hey mate, my honest opinion.....The worry thing coming from a girl mate is hard to repond from a males perspective....the guy is meant to be the strong one.....my advice is that he will tell you what is going on when hes ready, however....you can speed up the process a little by picking you time and place to ask him about this stuff.....maybe tak him out for some drinks, and relax and have some fun...a movie, or something that you both enjoy and then sit together somewhere quiet.....not in a restaurant or in public etc, somewhere just the to of you and tread carefully. Dont push it.... he will tell you in time. hope this helps. Oh hun, I just read your other thread..... I am really sorry to hear that you are sick....my heart goes out to you hun.....I dare say he might be really scared/petrified of losing you? I know I would be as I lost my partner to Non Hodgkins lyphoma when I was 21. Becarefull, but he may meltdown... Link to comment
rican4u2002 Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Well I'm like that with all my friends, but I understand what you mean. Alright I'll try that, and hopefully it'll work. Thanks it did help Link to comment
codroft Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Hey hun, Please be very gentle with him.....the odds are that he hasnt come to terms with your sickness at all....and be aware that he may not either.....He is probably petrified!!! I am assuming that this is the issue and not something else?......can I ask have you two ever been romantically involved before, or has he ever expressed romantic feelings for you?? If so....no doubt these feelings may have surfaced again for you....as the fear of your sickness etc is building. any other information.....when he got snappy did he "suck up" so to speak later on??? Link to comment
rican4u2002 Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 I will be. Or I'll try to be. Well I don't think that was it. Something happened between the last time I saw him and talk to him and yesterday. I didn't tell him about my sickness until last night and that was when he asked what was going on with me. He knew about some of it, but I didn't tell him exactly that I had my sickness. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. As for being romantically involved, well we've occasionally had sex a few times but nothing too serious. He's never expressed any type of feelings for me. and as far as I know, he doesn't see me that way but again I'm not completely sure. I was thinking it may have something to do with feelings for me, but I kind of brushed that idea off since he made it clear we are just friends and he's not looking for a relationship. Well after he was snappy, he just kind of changed the subject to me and how i was doing in school and what not. Well re-reading the texts, he doesn't want any help and says that no one can help. And he kept saying that he was fine and he was just sad and just told me to leave it be. Link to comment
codroft Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Hey hun, This may come at a shock but casual sex, still does mean something especially if you are still best friends...make sense? I get the feeling that he may have found out about your sickness through someone else, if that is so then he may feel a bit betrayed....as you are best friends and this sort of thinkg should be coming from you personally.....oh yeah forget txt msgs......if you want to talk about sensitive stuff do it face to face....not through txt mesgs.....you know how the demeanour can be altered from peoples perceptions of sarcasim in the txt message itself......GO AND SEE HIM....is my advice. Link to comment
rican4u2002 Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Okay I'll be honest that is a shock to me. I wouldn't say best friends, because now I feel that we aren't that close as I thought. Well we don't have the same friends at all, and we aren't connected on facebook or myspace so it may not be that. And if it's not that then what else could it be? Yeah that's true, and I want to suggest it but at the moment he hasn't replied to my text message but he may still be at work or with friends so at the moment I'm just waiting. Link to comment
rican4u2002 Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Well I did send him a text suggesting that we talk in person about things mainly about my sickness and I didn't get anything back so we'll see. I would hope he would agree but if he doesn't then...I'm not sure how I would react and what I would do Link to comment
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