Competition

[bexcelant]

Ok, I have gone out with this girl about three times now. First date was pretty good as I met her out at a wine bar and we had a great time and she told me that she would like to do this again soon and no kiss as I just decided to kiss her on the cheek.

 

Second date..meh, French restuarant that my female friend told me was beyond belief...service was slow and started running out of things to say. This time she leaned forward and gave me her cheek. Ughhh

 

Third date I was out with her and this time I figured I had to bring my "A" game cause the second date was like meh. This time I kept the conversation focused on her and did very little talking...told a few stories to keep things rolling but mainly everything was on her. Gave her a little flower and we would have gone out for a desert drink afterwards but she had an intestinal bug. It was good she came out anyway despite being sick. I could tell she was telling the truth because she kept holding her stomach and I told her we didn't have to stay because it's no fun when you're not feeling well. Anyway, despite that, I thought that the third date went really well. Actually got to kiss her at the end this time.

 

Now on to facebook. New pic of a guy with her. I went to his site and he's got a pic of her and him with another girl cut out of it so it looks like they are together. He's gone as far as to say he is in a relationship on his FB. Now on her profile, she doens't list relationship status nor has she front and centered his picture on her site the way he has.

 

I don't know how long this guy has known her or the nature of their relationship. I am not sure what to do about this but I am open to suggestions. Pretend this other guy doesn't exist and continue doing what I'm doing?

[pinkrobot]

Pretend this other guy doesn't exist and continue doing what I'm doing?

 

Depends, do you want to get hurt in the end?

 

Why don't you come out and ask her if she's seeing other people? You've been on a few dates, you're interested in pursuing things further with her...you might as well know somewhat where you stand, at this point at least.

 

But if she really is "in a relationship" with this guy, and you continue to date her while pretending he doesn't exist, you'll get burned in the end.

[thetruth]

agreed, pink.

 

don't make it sound as though you need to get exclusive or serious right away, just casually ask.

[HouseKitten]

Have you arranged another date with her or had any contact since you saw these pictures?

 

If not... I think you might have been sidelined. It's possible that she was dating you both at the same time and now has settled on him.

 

However, if you've spoken since then and she hasn't put you off or told you she can't see you, or if you've got another date planned then you should ask her what's going on. It's pretty odd that she'd centre a photo of herself and another man if she was interested in being with you seriously.

 

Only way you'll know is if you ask. And I think it's suspicious behaviour personally.

[bexcelant]

Have you arranged another date with her or had any contact since you saw these pictures?

 

If not... I think you might have been sidelined. It's possible that she was dating you both at the same time and now has settled on him.

 

However, if you've spoken since then and she hasn't put you off or told you she can't see you, or if you've got another date planned then you should ask her what's going on. It's pretty odd that she'd centre a photo of herself and another man if she was interested in being with you seriously.

 

Only way you'll know is if you ask. And I think it's suspicious behaviour personally.

 

Well actually, she didn't do it, he did it an posted it as his main profile picture on his facebook.

[bexcelant]

Have you arranged another date with her or had any contact since you saw these pictures?

 

If not... I think you might have been sidelined. It's possible that she was dating you both at the same time and now has settled on him.

 

However, if you've spoken since then and she hasn't put you off or told you she can't see you, or if you've got another date planned then you should ask her what's going on. It's pretty odd that she'd centre a photo of herself and another man if she was interested in being with you seriously.

 

Only way you'll know is if you ask. And I think it's suspicious behaviour personally.

 

I tried to arrange a date with her and she responded that her grandmother was not expected to live through the week, and she expected to be at a funeral so she was keeping her week open. But she said, perhaps we can go out another time. So I don't get the feeling she's blowing me off. Funny thing is the timing, that this dude posted that he's in a relationship with her on the very day I was out with her seven days ago.

 

I find it suspect that he would take a party pic of her and another gal with him standing in the middle, cut the other gal out of the pic and then claim he's in a relationship with her on the very day she's out with me.

[bexcelant]

Does it actually say he's in a relationship with HER? I thought you said just "in a relationship". Maybe he is, with someone else, or maybe he hasn't changed him profile status thingy from ages ago, or maybe....maybe she put him up to it to see if you are paying attention???

People do strange things....

 

No there is a part on his wall where it goes from single to in a relationship and everyone is asking him who the lucky girl is. Then he says it's the girl on his profile page and everyone is congratulating him. But see, that's what's funny..I have been dating her all along quietly for a month. I don't post stupid stuff like that on my facebook because who's business is it but my own and hers. She also doesn't have this function enabled on her own facebook page either.

[Day_Walker]

I think that you should let this one go. There have been three dates and you havent got more than a kiss on the cheek. The intestinal bug should suspicious and not believeable. It seems to me that this girl isnt interested in you as more than a friend and I wouldnt waste any more time on her because at this point you are acting purely how you feel and not taking into consideration that her actions are not consistent with a person who would be interested in you.

[bexcelant]

I think that you should let this one go. There have been three dates and you havent got more than a kiss on the cheek. The intestinal bug should suspicious and not believeable. It seems to me that this girl isnt interested in you as more than a friend and I wouldnt waste any more time on her because at this point you are acting purely how you feel and not taking into consideration that her actions are not consistent with a person who would be interested in you.

 

 

Well actually on the third date I did kiss her for real. I said that I brought my "A" game out. I know she had an intestinal thing because she only had soup for dinner and then had to run to the bathroom for 15 min or so and I knew that couldn't be good.

 

If she were feeling well, she would have joined me for a Chocolate Mojito afterwards that I had a bartender in town mix up for me. Took him 4 tries and he finally got it right. I told her about it and she was totally up up for it but that night...uhhh no go.

[cat_lady]

I'm confused. Is this picture of him and her on her FB too?

[bexcelant]

No there is nothing about him on her facebook page at all. There is the original party pic where she was tagged showing him, and her with the other girl but she did not post that to her page.

[cat_lady]

Maybe he jumped the ship or maybe she was dating both of you and decided to go with him. Sadly, I've done that in the past and didn't have the courage to tell the other guy that I just wasn't interested anymore.

 

But since she's unavaible due to her grandmother, I would forget about it now, and maybe try once more again later.

[pinkrobot]

Well actually, she didn't do it, he did it an posted it as his main profile picture on his facebook.

 

I don't know ANY guys who turn a pic with a girl into a profile pic unless it's their girlfriend.

 

I tried to arrange a date with her and she responded that her grandmother was not expected to live through the week, and she expected to be at a funeral so she was keeping her week open. But she said, perhaps we can go out another time.

 

Why couldn't she make tentative plans with you for a night, with the understanding that if something happened to her grandmother she would have to cancel? And "perhaps" you can go out another time? "Perhaps" isn't a very promising word.

 

Funny thing is the timing, that this dude posted that he's in a relationship with her on the very day I was out with her seven days ago.

 

Pretty big coincidence, don't you think? I think HouseKitten was probably right in saying you were sidelined. It sounds like she was seeing both of you, and he got around to having an "exclusivity" chat with her before you did.

 

No there is a part on his wall where it goes from single to in a relationship and everyone is asking him who the lucky girl is. Then he says it's the girl on his profile page and everyone is congratulating him.

 

Then, doesn't this make the answer obvious? If he's referring to his profile picture (you said page, not sure what that meant), then isn't it apparent he's saying she's his girlfriend?

 

This girl is completely a lost cause. Just let her go. I know it's not what you want to hear, but the answer is 100% obvious.

[bexcelant]

Hmmm..well that's not good. I guess in time like everything else, it will become clear.