lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Hi Im wondering if this is normal. Ive been with my bf for about 6 months now. Ive worked out, during that time, we've only had sex about 15 times. Ive probably given him maybe 5 blow jobs and he's gone down on me once. When we have sex its great. He lasts a long time. I know he likes it. I dont knwo if its because we just see each other 1-2 times a week. Some weeks we dont have sex, so it could be 2 weeks in between. Im 23 and he's 27. Is this normal? He was single for a few years and didn't date, there for no sex. So could he just not be used to it be 'available' to him now? When we do get intimate, im sort of i supose worried to let him go down on me now. Its only happened once at the start of the relationship so ive sort of kept him away, mainly coz he' hasn't done it again or attempted to so asumed he must have not liked it. he told me at the start that he likes blow jobs, but he can't always come from them. He's come from every single one ive given him...the few that i have lol. what do you think? is it normal, not normal? or normal due to the amount we see each other? We arn't in a long distance relationship. We live like 15 mins apart. 'quickies' would be very possibly, but have never happened. Link to comment
Diddy323 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I think it's a little bit strange given how close you live. But if you're only seeing each other once or twice a week I don't think it's that odd. It could just be that the time you guys are seeing each other isn't a time that he's in the mood. I have friends who live with their girlfriends but still only have sex once or twice a week. When I was with my ex we had it at least daily, usually more than once. So it really depends on the couple. I'd say bring it up to your bf. He may just feel that if you're only seeing each other once or twice a week that sex won't be the first thing you want to do. It sounds like you want more of it, so tell him. He'll either explain why you don't do it more or you'll see a big increase. Link to comment
EQD Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 wonder if he is gay.... Link to comment
lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 thanks... Haha he isn't gay!. Yeah, some times i get the feeling he wants it more, but he wont act on it. Im new to all of this. He's only told me onve or twice that he's 'horny'. we were chatting online one night and he wanted naked cuddles and more.and told me to come over (this was 10pm at night). I would have. And afer going back and forth, he said 'na maybe not it is late'. So he hints but doens't follow through!! I see him when he wants. he usually dictates it. There are weekends where we haven't seen him, therefore no sex. One saturday i saw him, for 2 hours during the day and then again in the evening. We started kissing and things got heated but then we stopped. No sex. He told me a week later that he wasn't in the mood. It was at least 2 weeks since we did it last. There are other reasons why i think this, but i have wondered if he could be cheating. i dont see him much so it'd be possile for him. He makes very strange comments. And when my doctor was doing test, the first thing he asked was if it was an STD. You would think the first thing would pop into your mind if anything would be pregnancy...and if he gets sex elsewhere he just doens't 'need' it as much with me... Link to comment
EQD Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 so could he be leading a double life, and you are just a gf on the side? thats been known to happen. kinda strange that 'he dictates when he sees you' i call BS on that. Link to comment
Diddy323 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I admit the strangest part of your whole deal is that you live 15 minutes away and only see each other once or twice a week. Link to comment
Seymore Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 About 2-3 times a month...I would see my ex on a daily basis when we were together and it wasn't even nearly as much as 15 times in 6 months. I would've loved to have your sex life Link to comment
lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 so could he be leading a double life, and you are just a gf on the side? thats been known to happen. kinda strange that 'he dictates when he sees you' i call BS on that. Well its possible in a way considering how much i see him and hear form him. its been two days since ive heard from him. He tells me he is 'busy'. he is too busy to go to the movies or to dinner. When i make my own plans, he kicks up a fuss tho, despite giving me only hours notice when he wants to do something. I used to ask him to do stuff on certain days and ask a few days in advance at least. i always got no. or that he's busy. i gave up asking. he picks the day i see him. usually fri or sat. mostly sats. Link to comment
lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 I admit the strangest part of your whole deal is that you live 15 minutes away and only see each other once or twice a week. lol. i know. its stupid. and, it gets worse. i work 2 minutes walk from where he is all day! i drive past his house on my way home from work. He lives closer to my work, so i could stay over and head to work from his place. ive never stayed over for the night during the week. if i have work, im going to be out by 8am. i only stay fri or sats. he's complained that i stay too long afterwards in the morning. why? we go to bed at 3am and dont wake up until 1pm. not really all my fault. i get up to go and he pulls me back..and then 10 mins later he goes 'ok get out of my bed'... its kind of hard to follow Link to comment
EQD Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Well. i dont pity you. you are the only person who is enabling this 'relationship' to go on, you can end it or keep putting up with this. honestly it sounds like he's got something underhanded going on and/or he is using you. its a give up or shut up world out there. Link to comment
Diddy323 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Your dude is weird. He's either a secret agent or a * * * * . Either way I'd call him on it and ask him what the deal is. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 maybe he has other interests he finds more important Link to comment
lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 how would i do that? i dont want to cause an argument. id rather do it in a joking way.... if i casually said something at the right moment like ' your not one for sex much are you'......with a smile to see his reactio. would that get him thinking? Link to comment
Diddy323 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Honestly lullaby, it sounds like there's bigger problems than the sex. If that's the only thing you're concerned with at the moment though, then I would say yeah. Just say something quick and light. Or just be blunt and say "Hey why don't we do it more?" Link to comment
lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 maybe he has other interests he finds more important at 27? but, your probably right. Golf seems more important. he does that more. Infact he plays golf more than he see's me. So going by that, all his other interests are more important than i am to him...... i come 2nd. no not 2nd. maybe 20th. Link to comment
EQD Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 how about.... "are we even in a relationship?" Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 at 27? but, your probably right. Golf seems more important. he does that more. Infact he plays golf more than he see's me. So going by that, all his other interests are more important than i am to him...... i come 2nd. no not 2nd. maybe 20th. i understand him completely Link to comment
lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 i understand him completely what do you mean? Link to comment
Diddy323 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I think it was a joke. I love golf as much as the next guy. But it gets dark eventually, and when it gets dark I used to love using "I'm so tired from golf" as an excuse to not have to do as much work in bed. Link to comment
lullaby Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 I think it was a joke. I love golf as much as the next guy. But it gets dark eventually, and when it gets dark I used to love using "I'm so tired from golf" as an excuse to not have to do as much work in bed. that made me laugh. He has used that. Not so much for 'bedroom' stuff but he has used it. He'll ask me over and then within 10 mins of arriving he'll say that! Im like why ask me over if your tired!!! I get that golf is his passion and he loves it, but when it becomes before me every single time, its a little tiring. I have things im passionate about but i would stop doing it for a few hours so i can see him. I dont think he's the same. I saw him one saturday night. i only see him saturdays. he tells me that i can stay but he has to get up early for golf. i'd have to leave by 8am. He 'didn't have a choice' to wha ttime he started golf with his friend. I didn't end up staying. I didn't arrive at his place until 8pm. We are only up for like 4 more hours. I dont know. I haven't spoken to him about it coz it feels silly and stupid. Link to comment
Diddy323 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I used that excuse because it was total b.s. No one gets that tired from golf. I golf 3-4 times a week, I've done 36 holes in a day before, and I can guarantee on 99% of those days I was never too tired for sex. I would just say that as a joke to my ex to encourage her to take charge. But back to the matter at hand, I can't really give advice. The "I am golfing at 8 a.m. and can't change it" excuse isn't really that crazy. I've had tee times with my friends and on the weekends it can be really hard to change a time once you get one. I'd say its the fact that he never sees you during the week. My ex lived 10 minutes away, our schedules were pretty different, but we still made time to see each other every night. I don't think this guy understands the bf/gf situation. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 what do you mean? there are some things in an individual's life that is more important than trying to make it with a partner Link to comment
D_Lish Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Ever stop to think, that he may not be 'highly' sexed.... Just because people are not banging away 24/7, doesnt mean they are abnormal, they dont fancy you, they have another woman, they are gay, they have issues....blah de blah.... Link to comment
liquer Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Ever stop to think, that he may not be 'highly' sexed.... Just because people are not banging away 24/7, doesnt mean they are abnormal, they dont fancy you, they have another woman, they are gay, they have issues....blah de blah.... Yeah I agree...sometimes you can look too deeply into things. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Ever stop to think, that he may not be 'highly' sexed.... Just because people are not banging away 24/7, doesnt mean they are abnormal, they dont fancy you, they have another woman, they are gay, they have issues....blah de blah.... word................. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.