Want to experience gay clubs but who to go with?

[Daniel05]

OK I'm just starting to explore the gay side of me (at the age of 30! Don't ask!). I met up with a friend I'd known over the net for years and while out in a gay pub, met this other guy. The guy is really nice - kind, sincere, very genuine and not at all pushy. But... I don't fancy him. I like his company but that's all. What I really want is a gay friend I can go with to clubs and stuff because I need to start having some experiences with some guys and I don't want to go on my own. My email friend is pretty broke so that's really not an option at the moment unforunately. The other guy has invited me down to London which is great as we'll go to the big clubs but I know that if I get hit on by a cute guy I won't be able to act on hit as it'll hurt him as he thinks of me as his other half. I'm sure he'd understand if I said I just wanted to be friends but would be very disappointed and I don't know whether he would be interested in us going to clubs and him seeing me go off with someone else. But he's my only option to going to these places at the moment. Argh! Don't know what to do.

[thetruth]

well to keep him around as an option or wingman is not only unfair to him, but not going to work the way you want it.

 

the best thing i can see to do is to tell him exactly how you feel, and what you want. if he agrees, great. if not - it wouldn't have worked anyway, and would have just blown up in both your faces.

[piegirl]

You could take a straight friend who is aware of the fact that you are interested in the gay scene.

 

My brother who is divorced has begun dating men and hanging out in gay clubs. I went to the clubs with him a couple times. I am not gay but have no problem with it. So that is an option if you have any one is not afraid of going with you they do not have to be gay themselves.

 

I do agree that keeping this other guy around as an option in case nothing else works out is extremly unfair to him.

[sparkles4]

Maybe you could take a female friend. A lot of women love going to gay clubs because the guys there won't hit on them.

[ResonanceTheory]

I second inviting a girl friend (or a couple). They are non-threatening, other guys won't assume you're together. I went out with a guy friend of mine to a gay club (he wasn't gay, but went with a few of his friends pretty often). Lots of guys still hit on him even though he was there with me!

[pianoguy]

Yeah, get a girl to go with you. They love it.

[chiefoptimizer]

You want to have him as a "friend" yet you won't tell him you're not into him? Doesn't he deserve to know he's wasting his "romantic energy" on you?

 

Have an honest talk with him, tell him you want him as wingman, then you can go together and go off with someone else. The couples/girls thing sounds good too.

[Daniel05]

I don't really have any girl friends and only a couple of people (the two I mentioned) earlier know I have any desire for the gay side of things so it's a bit difficult.