I can't take the suffering anymore, but she truly loves me. I'm so confused.

[deepermeaning]

I'm in a horrible never ending cycle and I can't seem to get out or find any relief. I'm so confused and I want to be on the right path.

 

In my other thread I was debating about being with her again after our first real break up, well we became official after that in the end of June and the fighting and problems continued on. Our relationship was always up and down, good one half of the day, and bad the other half of the day depending on what she feels is wrong at that time. The longest we've went without fighting after getting back together was two weeks, then one week was the second longest time, then maybe 3 days or around that, but we'd usually fight every day. We also have broken up maybe 3-5 times for about a day or a day and a half. We are still both only 18 yrs old and it seems like at the rate we've been going well never make it.

 

I couldn't take it anymore and on the September 11th a few days ago I broke up with her seriously and meant it to be for good. Shes trying ridiculously hard to get me back. She cries and literally begged me on her knees to please take her back. She cried to me for hours begging and saying shes gonna kill herself because I'm her only reason for living. Shes trying to remind me of all the good memories so I get back with her and shes saying I'm the only guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with and have kids with and I'm gonna be her husband.

 

She always has a problem, whether shes jealous of my friends and gives me a huge attitude whenever I want to see them (which is about once every two weeks, while I'm with her every single day usually from beginning to end since we live 7 blocks away from each other), she wants more attention and to feel more important, or she wants me to do more cute things for her to show her I care more.

 

She really loves me though she would do anything in this world for me, she always buys me things, usually something little every other day, shes honest, faithful, always sacrifices for me and shes set on being with me for the rest of her life, that's her goal in our relationship.

 

But shes very controlling, if she doesn't get her way or what she wants she blows a fit. Her parents spoil her more than I've ever seen anyone spoiled, and she yells at them and gets angry with them when she doesn't get what she wants, even if its a simple water bottle when shes thirsty. And when she drinks it intensifies 10x. She always drinks, especially when shes depressed, shell always have a bottle of vodka in her purse, and 90 percent of the time when she drinks she acts completely out of line and acts crazy yelling screaming fighting with me and everyone around her. Shell always be upset with me and say this is my fault and I need to fix it and change but I rarely do that to her. And when we have a fight or a little break up if she doesn't see I'm not really sad and I go and chase her to get her back she says I don't care about her and shell be upset about it for a while. Its hard for me to chase her like that when she acts the way she does, she wonders why I don't really care when we fight or break up anymore its because she drained everything out of me.

 

She said she will stop fighting with me if I show her I care more. I'm pretty sure she wants me to show that by doing more cute things like write her a love letter and surprises. I tell her I'm gonna start doing it on Monday and on Tuesday shell fight that I'm not doing it yet, she wont give it time. I think it's also hard for me because I don't have any motivation to emotionally spoil her like that because of the way she acts. We have tried to talk it out every day but it never gets anywhere she can never understand where I'm coming from and only believes what she wants saying I'm wrong and I need to change. Also her friends agree with her no matter what and when they do she says it's not just me who believes that your wrong so I know I'm right.

 

I denied her and said we cant be together anymore its for the best for both of us, she was always crying and I was always upset. Last night she showed up at my house and tried to get me to remember all the good times and happiness because besides the fighting we have great times and shes kind of started to change my mind a little bit and I don't know if I want to go back on my decision. I'm really confused, what if I'm throwing away something good =/.

 

Also she was inviting herself over to watch movies with me today because shes trying to change my mind and for me to take her back, should I see her today?

 

Please help me

[agent1607307371]

She cried to me for hours begging and saying shes gonna kill herself because I'm her only reason for living.

 

This is the worst kind of manipulation and controlling. Take it seriously. Not in that she will kill herself, but that in getting her out of your life you're doing something seriously good for yourself.

 

Don't see her. This is nothing good.

 

You know the old bible passage "Love is patient and kind...", you don't need to believe in the Bible to know that that part has it spot on. This girl does not have love, she has obsession and insanity and acoholism.

 

You're young, you don't need to ruin your future by getting mixed up with someone like this.

 

(And she will always fight because you will never care enough.Because it's not about you, it's about her.)

[Brittney2008]

This isn't something good, She appears to be very unstable, insecure, jealous, and having problems with alcohol. How can you be in a healthy relationship with someone who is behaving like this? I would advise to stay broken up and start no contact with her, if you get back together the whole cycle is going to start over again.

 

Im sorry that this is happening, it must be really hard :sad:

[atlanticstar]

This is the worst kind of manipulation and controlling. Take it seriously. Not in that she will kill herself, but that in getting her out of your life you're doing something seriously good for yourself.

 

Don't see her. This is nothing good.

 

Wise words indeed. An old ex played those games with me (in the days when I was naive). She used to lie through her teeth as well.

 

You really should walk away from this person. These types of people are not only manipulative but ultimately destructive in the end.

 

I learnt the hard way and so will you if you stick around.

 

I understand your pain, I've been in a similar situation in the past.

[sparkles4]

You're not throwing away anything good. I could go on for a long time about everything that's not good about this relationship, but I'll just summarize. This girl is emotionally abusive towards you and most likely has a legitimate mental disorder. She doesn't love or care for you, because if she did she wouldn't manipulate and control you the way she does.

[deepermeaning]

Thank you so much to everyone for your advice, i really appreciate it.

 

You're not throwing away anything good. I could go on for a long time about everything that's not good about this relationship, but I'll just summarize. This girl is emotionally abusive towards you and most likely has a legitimate mental disorder. She doesn't love or care for you, because if she did she wouldn't manipulate and control you the way she does.

 

Wow that article was intense, they basically described her and everything.

 

The only thing that's bothering me is that she says she loves me so much and it seems so hard to let go because of all the good times and whats shes promising me (happiness marriage and everything), I start to forget why I ended it and she keeps forcing her way back in. I think I'm gonna have trouble closing it off for good

[sparkles4]

 

The only thing that's bothering me is that she says she loves me so much and it seems so hard to let go because of all the good times and whats shes promising me (happiness marriage and everything), I start to forget why I ended it and she keeps forcing her way back in. I think I'm gonna have trouble closing it off for good

 

Saying those things is just another way that she controls you. She promises love and happiness to keep you around, and it looks like she has you right where she wants you. Look back on her behavior and your relationship as a whole, and ask yourself whether it was ever really loving or happy as you wanted it to be. With someone this manipulative, it's all about control, not love.

[deepermeaning]

Your right. But now the issue is what do I tell her because after she begged me last night I told her I needed to think about it deeply. What do I say to her for her to understand and for this to be finished.

[sparkles4]

Your right. But now the issue is what do I tell her because after she begged me last night I told her I needed to think about it deeply. What do I say to her for her to understand and for this to be finished.

 

She's not going to let you leave without a fight regardless of what you tell her. Just make it clear that you've thought it through and have decided that it's best to end the relationship. I usually advocate doing things in person, but in the case of someone who is this unstable and manipulative, you may want to consider doing it over the phone in case she begs/cries/wants to shoot you in the balls. Make it brief, stand your ground, don't negotiate and stick to minimal or no contact afterward. It'll be difficult, but every time you open the lines of communication it will give her a chance to lure you back into the relationship.

[Talus]

One day you're gonna have to call it quits. This is gonna keep going on for as long as you let it, she will never learn, why would she? You keep coming running back just because of a few things she says. She has you eating out of her palm because she will treat you like * * * * , but you'll never leave for good.

 

Do you really want to be posting here 5yrs from now about a horrible divorce and crazy ex wife and how to get away? Knowing you just wasted what's meant to be the most exciting yrs of your life on this crazy controlling girl who emotinally abuses the crap out of you?

 

She has problems. I know you may love her but look through your rose tinted glasses. See her true colours. Tell her it's over. She needs to grow up, you have done everything you can to please her and it's not good enough, it never will be. Tell her you are better than that, you deserve to have friends and be able to see them, you deserve to be happy and in a good relationship and you deserve to be treated equal, not like a door mat that she steps all over when she doesn't get her way.

 

Then completely cut contact. It'll be hard, especially 'cus you guys live so close but do it as best you can. Don't answer her calls, her knocks, her texts. Nothing.

[missy000]

I too am in a very similiar situation as i have been with my partner for a few years and we have had a very rocky and unstable relationship. I love him very very much but feel like something is missing. When we fight he becomes very abusive and crazy and our fights usually end in tears and nastiness. I too tried to leave my partner over the weekend as it was getting to much for me inside. I constantly feel anxious and wonder what the next fight is going to be over. My partner did the same thing and begged me to stay and insisted that things would change and that he wants things to get better and will do anything bcoz he wants me to be his FOREVER. I almost feel as if its too late to keep trying for something when it feels like you just go in a circle and in a few weeks we will be fighthing again. So i can relate to you saying you dont know whether you should throw it away bcoz of the good times. Its a hard situation. I am so confused also and reading your story was like looking at my life aswell. So i too am looking on at all your replies. Good luck with this one. I think the best advice someone has given me is that i have to do what is best for "me" as its my heart that i have to please to be truly happy.....good luck!

[deepermeaning]

Thanks you guys are right.

When I was on checking your replies she called me and I told her to forget about me and we are done its for the best and that I love her and she kept calling back and I ignored her calls and I'm going to try and stick to it this time.

[deepermeaning]

She's still finding ways into my life, even if its by texting and calling my friends while we are out partying having a good time, and is kind of getting me to be confused again about this whole situation =/ I couldn't sleep all last night. I'm gonna put "her side of the story" up today or tomorrow, because what she says might make things more clear?

[deepermeaning]

This is her side of the story.

 

She talks about me needing to get a job and I know I should have a job it makes things better but i've been looking since a little while back and nothing yet, even though I should be following up on my job applications right now instead of typing this lol. She says she fights with me because of it but this problem she has with me is pretty recent, from when we started going back out in June. We both only have summer jobs but all my money from my $5 an hour summer job is spent. A lot went to her, and I spent my first whole paycheck on her birthday present, a 250 dollar silver necklace, second pay check I took her to a hibachi grill to eat for $75 and my last pay check I used to go out which was $101. Also I had to give my mom some money to aid her with the rent, food, and bills.

 

I only live with my mom and we struggle with finances, while her family has money and gives her money for things frequently. The previous time before our first real break up her problem was "I only fight with you because you do unnecessary things that piss me off so you need to stop doing them" She wants to see what you guys think so here it is lol. This is a really big stress on me and in my life so I would appreciate it if you guys gave me your input.

 

 

"" Our relationship started out great, I was his first love and he loved me more then anything I was so happy, he was always trying to do little cute things to make me smile and to prove his feelings for me but then once his obsession wore out we started fighting.

 

After a while I realized how much I love him and that’s when I made him my life, on our 6 months he gave me a promise ring and gave it to me in a proposing way at the big Christmas tree in NYC and then ever since then he became my world. I spent every waken moment with him all I did was try to make him happy but then we started to fight a lot which made me unhappy with him so I started to really like another guy and it broke us up. Three months went past without each other, we went out separate ways and did our own thing but fate brought us back together.

 

We got back in June and been together for almost 3 months but now we broke again because of the fighting, the reason I fight with him so much now is because he is my world and all I care about, he has many other things that catch his attention but I don’t, all I care about is him and making him smile. When I go to the mall I won't buy myself anything and I'll buy him an Armani shirt. At least every other day I show up to his house with a box of his favorite candy just to see him smile, I write him notes , do everything an amazing girlfriend would, last year I got a job just so I can buy him a birthday present and the problem here is he doesn’t sacrifice for me enough and if he cared about me and not just himself he'd go out and do more things for me

 

He says the reason its hard to do any of those cute things for me is because he doesn’t have money and because of the way I act? I asked him for two months to write me a note and he didn’t, if he really cared and wanted to make me happy he would, it requires no money just love. I am not made of money either but I sacrifice my time and work purposely so I can make my boyfriend happy and I feel if he truly wanted to be able to make me smile and get me something here and there, treat me to a movie once in a while, he would work, he would do anything. Were usually always sitting in his house watching movies or just hanging out with our friends together because he doesn’t have a car or money to do anything.

 

I understand he’s only a senior in high school but so am I and I’m a girl and I manage have money. I don’t want material things out of him his love is more then enough, I just want him to get a job so that he matures and appreciates more the things others do for him. If he gets a job we will be able to do more things instead of sitting in the house which causes us to fight. I just want to be treated like his little girl. I feel that if he truly loves me he would do anything to make me happy, I know it would make us better and to make a girl happy he must do something constructive that shows he is trying.

 

I’m not asking for him to have a car or anything I have my license and I could drive if I want to, I’m not asking him to take me to the mall and buy me things, I have my own money and can get myself anything I want, I’m just asking for a man who will go out of his way doing things to see his girlfriend smile and a man who will do cute things for her to show her his love for her and will do that no matter how hard the situation is Basically a man who appreciates what he has and wants to show her how special she is to him.

 

He says I fight too much but I've only been fighting lately because I get annoyed how I do so much and he does so little. I love him more then anything, id do anything in this world for this man. We broke up 10 days ago and I still call everyday trying to fix things and make him realize what he’s letting go off. Hes tried to push me away so hard and that would have pushed any girl away but I love him more then anything and I cant let go until I know for sure there’s no chance. I’m willing to do the impossible but is he? I feel what we have is real, he just needs to realize what he has.""

[keep_spinning]

I'm in the position of being dumped by my partner of 7 years. What makes it worse is the financial & emotional commitment we've made to buying & renovating a house together, and the fact we were once engaged. But I treated him in a similar way to the way your gf seems to be treating you, the only thing I never did was threaten to kill myself if he left me, although I sometimes felt that low. I can take her side cos I know what it feels like to suffer from terrible, terrible mood swings that destroy your life.

 

However, her love for you might be so strong, there's no denying that; but unfortunately deep love for someone can also be incredibly destructive. You need to ask her to get help from a doctor, a nutritionist, a counsellor; because her behaviour will only drag you down, to the point when you snap like my partner has done. He has gone from being the most wonderful, patient, kindest man - to a huge ball of rage and fury that he put up with 7 years of this unhappiness, when he finally admitted it during a relationship counselling session.

 

If she truly loved you, she would set you free. This is the only thought that keeps me going during this truly awful break-up. If I really, really loved him, I would not do this to him a second longer. It's a really difficult thing to accept and she may never accept it - but you have to accept this: while she continues this behaviour, it will drag you down too.

 

I would say, offer to go to counselling with her. If she loves you, she will be willing to get help learn how how to behave in a way that doesn't cause you a great deal of unhappiness. If she can't stop upsetting you, even with professional help, then you have to be strong - NOW - NOT in 7 years time! - and tell her you need to protect your own happiness. When you really love someone, you understand that if you can't make them happy, you need to leave them alone, however much that hurts.

 

Above all things, don't blame yourself. My partner did for a long time - because I blamed him too - it will destroy your soul. Both of you have to realise this is unacceptable situation, and seek professional help - with the understanding that the outcome may not be the one she wants. Take it from someone who has been in her shoes for a very long time...

[chewy21]

As I start my response, I'm really not sure what I'm going to end up saying. There are a lot of red flags, and a lot of miscommunication. I suppose the best approach would be to just launch into it.

 

First of all, I'll reiterate what I said in my response to your first thread (or I believe it way, anyway) a couple of months ago: you're both still very young. It sounds to me as though she's ready to make this thing permanent- but are you, rico? This is something to really ask yourself. I understand that you both have very strong feelings for one another, but once that initial infatuation wears off, what's underneath? You've already dicovered this for yourself- problems. Problems that cannot be ignored, glossed over, or bought out with expensive gifts. Are these problems worth talking out, or are they too severe to be lived with? And again, are you even ready to go through this kind of work for a long-term relationship at your age? I know it sounds stupid and condescending right now, but in time you will come to appreciate your youth, hopefully before it's gone. Don't enter into something this serious and this permanent with someone if you think you'll end up regretting the decision to give up your youth.

 

Now the problems themselves. First of all, it's a sign of immaturity that when she found you two had problems underneath the infatuation, she started looking around for someone else rather than try to work them out with you. Perhaps she's not ready for this either, even though she'd like to be.

 

Something else that couldn't help but grab my attention throughout her letter is that both of you (you, for sure) went beyond your means to buy one another gifts and treat one another to expensive treats. Sure, those things are nice, but as you said, you and your mom are kinda struggling right now. I'm sure your (ex)girlfriend understands this, and would completely understand if you said you had to start saving more money to help her out. Again, this might sound condescending even though it's not meant to, but helping your mom out more with the bills and cost of living will make you feel better about you. It'll give you a sense of pride and self-worth that you really can't get anywhere else. It's also a good way to tell how mature this girl is. If she's going to complain that the quality of her gifts has gone down because you need to help your mom pay for the place you guys share, then why is she really in this relationship? The gifts.

 

Also, to completely jump on your side for a minute, it's completely ridiculous for her to expect you to do something that should come from the heart (writing her a note) when she's constantly hounding you about it. I can understand her suggesting it, but leave it at that. Then, if it still didn't happen, it would probably say something about the kind of partner you are (not necessarily good or bad, just how you act in relationships, and whether or not that's what she wants or can handle). But with her constantly asking you to do something thoughtful, a nice gesture turns into a chore for you, and if it's a chore, your heart's not in it... and she's be able to tell once she read it, and then would probably resent you for that because it isn't what she hoped for. So it's a lose-lose situation there.

 

While I'm on your side, I guess I'll stay there for a bit. Some of the things in this letter reflect the very (inordinately?) high opinion she has of herself. There's a fine line between confidence and vanity, and I think she steps over a few feet. Things like "I write him notes , do everything an amazing girlfriend would" and "to make a girl happy he must do something constructive". Who is she to call herself an amazing girlfriend? And I could understand her concern for your unemployment if you two were planning to move out together soon, but you're still in high school. Unless your situation demands it, there's no reason that you should get a job while you're in school unless you want to. It's obvious why she wants you to...

 

Which brings me to another point about her. A good deal of the tone here and this line in particular:

 

"I have my own money and can get myself anything I want"

 

tell me she's probably a little spoiled and is used to getting her own way. You also mentioned in your OP that she's spoiled. That's something that's really hard (impossible for me, personally) to live with. She equates love with expensive gifts because that's how it's always been shown to her. She doesn't understand your situation with your mom and having to help her because for her, money has never been a problem. That's why this line:

 

"I’m just asking for a man who will go out of his way doing things to see his girlfriend smile and a man who will do cute things for her to show her his love for her and will do that no matter how hard the situation is"

 

sounds more than a little bratty to me. I mean, yeah, it's good to always let people know you care, even when times are hard, but it's something else to expect someone to conform to your definition of "cute" rather than get to know that person well enough to understand their ways of showing affection. That said, I think it might also speak to a lack of emotional maturity on your part that she has this complaint. It's obvious that something as simple as a note would sate her appetite for affection, so if you're not doing these things on your own, then maybe she has a point, and maybe you're not ready to be that intimate or involved. Or maybe she has higher and more specific expectations than she lets on. I really can't tell from here.

 

Bottom line: Be honest with yourself. Are you ready for this? With this girl? Are the problems that you two have solveable? Is the relationship worth the trouble it would be to solve them?

 

My advice would be to figure these things out and then talk to her, face to face. Sit down and talk, and don't just dictate the conclusions that you've come to, but really listen to her as well. Be open to communication, and politely let her know when she isn't listening or is being defensive. If someone's going to blow up at you for trying to be constructive, then chances are they aren't willing to compromise and only want things their own way. You can't build a relationship on that.

 

Good luck.

[deepermeaning]

Thanks everyone and chewy =] Keep the responses coming!

 

I know I should have done more things for her but it was hard when all she did was fight with me, this is just her new thing that shes saying. And if this was the only problem wed have I'd be willing to give it another shot right now but we have ALWAYS had big problems, always on rocky road, fighting nearly almost every day.

 

It was a sick relationship and I don't want to fall into that again. How is our relationship somehow for the first time in over a year gonna magically end up being a nice healthy one? And she also drinks a lot and when she does she acts 10x worse, and she drinks frequently.

 

For a real example I bought Wendy's chicken nuggets (5 pc) for us to share and because I ate the 5th one she wanted to break up with me, disrespected me in front of all our friends and cursed me out. She then demanded that I get out of the car and "fix her mood". I was reluctant to go do it because of the way she was acting but when I did she started cursing at me more so I just went home.

 

Stuff like that happens way too often, and for no reason, I think its just her nature. Every day was always a battle and I don't want to get all wrapped up into this again just to be let down and go through the same thing over again because I'm doing pretty well right now alone.

 

For the committing part, I would if I was sure it would work out but I'm pretty sure it wont. I'm still young and I don't want to be dealing with this type of stress I want to live my life happily. If it didn't work out now then it shouldn't ever work out right? When your meant to be with someone it shouldn't just pretty much flow? We never have.

[chewy21]

Man... the chicken nuggets things really says alot. That's absolutely ridiculous, and indicative of not only being spoiled, but overly sensitive.

 

From what she says, it seems like she really does care about you. You have all the power in this situation right now- you do realize that, right? She's begging for you to reconsider. If there are things about her that you can't live with (and there obviously are) tell her that those things need to change. Assuming, of course, you would still consider dating her if the negative things about her were no longer an issue. Just food for thought.

 

From what I can tell, rico, you haven't been unreasonable. And like you said, you're young. You should be having fun in relationships, not worrying about the slightest emotional toe-stepping that goes on as if you two were married. So if it's too much to handle, drop it and walk away. Even if you don't feel like it's worth it, do the same. Don't feel guilty, because by ending it for good, you're not just being honest with yourself, but with her too. You understand that whatever it takes to make her happy, you're not it, and you don't want to be it. Refusing to take her back would be better for you both in that case.

 

As far as all that "meant to be" stuff... people believe many different things. The way I see it, no two people are "meant to be." There are couples that work and couples that don't. There are some that work really really well, and there are some on the opposing end that should never ever be. But as far as everyone having one person meant just for them... the longer I live and the more I observe, the less and less likely and reasonable that idea seems. I'd rather take responsibility for my part in a relationship, for better or for worse, than to say either way that it was or wasn't meant to be. That implies that there are forces at work beyond those controllable by the parties involved that influence the relationship, and I just don't see it. Either you work at it, or you leave it to fate.

[sparkles4]

"Our relationship started out great, I was his first love and he loved me more then anything I was so happy, he was always trying to do little cute things to make me smile and to prove his feelings for me but then once his obsession wore out we started fighting."

In other words, she's not happy unless you're obsessing over her and bending over backwards to prove your love. She has unrealistic expectations, and when these expectations aren't met, she fights with you about it. People like this are impossible to please. They feel empty or insecure in some way, and need constant attention and validation to fill it. The catch is, there's nothing you can give them that can fill it, and they'll just keep getting angry with you over and over again. It's an endless cycle that can only be ended by the person themselves, not by you.

 

"After a while I realized how much I love him and that’s when I made him my life, on our 6 months he gave me a promise ring and gave it to me in a proposing way at the big Christmas tree in NYC and then ever since then he became my world. I spent every waken moment with him all I did was try to make him happy but then we started to fight a lot which made me unhappy with him so I started to really like another guy and it broke us up. Three months went past without each other, we went out separate ways and did our own thing but fate brought us back together.We got back in June and been together for almost 3 months but now we broke again because of the fighting, the reason I fight with him so much now is because he is my world and all I care about, he has many other things that catch his attention but I don’t, all I care about is him and making him smile. When I go to the mall I won't buy myself anything and I'll buy him an Armani shirt. At least every other day I show up to his house with a box of his favorite candy just to see him smile, I write him notes , do everything an amazing girlfriend would, last year I got a job just so I can buy him a birthday present and the problem here is he doesn’t sacrifice for me enough and if he cared about me and not just himself he'd go out and do more things for me"

 

Again with the obsession thing. Her world revolves around you and she wants to be with you constantly. It's one thing to enjoy being with the person you love and doing nice things for them, but this is just an unhealthy level of infatuation. It's like she doesn't have a life outside of the relationship, and because she doesn't have a life outside of the relationship, she doesn't want you to have one, either.

 

"He says the reason its hard to do any of those cute things for me is because he doesn’t have money and because of the way I act? I asked him for two months to write me a note and he didn’t, if he really cared and wanted to make me happy he would, it requires no money just love. I am not made of money either but I sacrifice my time and work purposely so I can make my boyfriend happy and I feel if he truly wanted to be able to make me smile and get me something here and there, treat me to a movie once in a while, he would work, he would do anything. Were usually always sitting in his house watching movies or just hanging out with our friends together because he doesn’t have a car or money to do anything.

 

I understand he’s only a senior in high school but so am I and I’m a girl and I manage have money. I don’t want material things out of him his love is more then enough, I just want him to get a job so that he matures and appreciates more the things others do for him. If he gets a job we will be able to do more things instead of sitting in the house which causes us to fight. I just want to be treated like his little girl. I feel that if he truly loves me he would do anything to make me happy, I know it would make us better and to make a girl happy he must do something constructive that shows he is trying.

 

I’m not asking for him to have a car or anything I have my license and I could drive if I want to, I’m not asking him to take me to the mall and buy me things, I have my own money and can get myself anything I want, I’m just asking for a man who will go out of his way doing things to see his girlfriend smile and a man who will do cute things for her to show her his love for her and will do that no matter how hard the situation is Basically a man who appreciates what he has and wants to show her how special she is to him.

 

He says I fight too much but I've only been fighting lately because I get annoyed how I do so much and he does so little. I love him more then anything, id do anything in this world for this man. We broke up 10 days ago and I still call everyday trying to fix things and make him realize what he’s letting go off. Hes tried to push me away so hard and that would have pushed any girl away but I love him more then anything and I cant let go until I know for sure there’s no chance. I’m willing to do the impossible but is he? I feel what we have is real, he just needs to realize what he has."

She mentions love a lot, but the more I read it, I don't see this as being about love. I see this as being about control. She seems like an insecure little girl who needs constant attention and validation to feel happy with herself, and she's using you to get it. When she does all of the over-the-top gifts and favors for you, she doesn't do them out of genuine love but out of a desire to get you to do the same things for her. This way, she can go on and on about how great of a girlfriend she is and how crappy you are in comparison, and guilt you into providing her with expensive gifts when you obviously have more important things to spend your money on. If she truly cared about you she wouldn't demand that you spend money on her when you and your mom are struggling financially. All she seems to care about is herself and her bottomless pit of insecurity that she apparently thinks she can fill with your money. I know that leaving this type of relationship is hard because at times it really does seem good, but the sooner you acknowledge it for what it really is, the sooner you'll be able to move on. Good luck!

[deepermeaning]

Thank you so much everyone. I've taken your advice and I have been apart from her for about a month and a week. She still calls me sometimes though, espcially when shes drunk, and she'll either say things like how are your girls are they better than me? Are their kisses better than mine? Stuff like that.

 

She'll also say that she knows well be together again and she misses me and loves me. When she says those things I sometimes second guess my decision but I always just have to remind myself why we aren't together right now and why I shouldn't be with her. I tell her no and keep conversations short and breif.

 

I'm much happier now single, thank you guys for helping me make the right decision.

 

-RS