She really hates me

[Ascending]

My ex and I broke up half a year ago, she ended it with me. It hurt, a lot. I said I'd wait for her, and I told her I'd always be there too, and I was. When she called me up to help her buy some new stuff, I did, and I even lent her money. This was after we've been broken up and I was hoping she was gonna take me back. Then she tells me about a new guy in her life...

Well, I've cut all contact with her, removed from my phone, my networks, everything! I couldn't stand seeing her happy, and I'm not.

 

Well, I'm over it now. The NC helped, a lot. Even though she seemed to be doing better without me, she was free now. I cut all contact with her siblings as well.

 

What bothers me is, why does she hate me? She passionately hates me, so says my friends who have still kept in contact with her. She ended it with me. She refused to talk to me when I wanted to reconcile things. She left me torn. I didn't think she'd noticed if I removed her from my networks, because she should have nothing left to do with me. Apparently, she thinks I was able to let go and delete her easily. The fact of the matter was, if I didn't delete her and have NC, it would be eating me up inside. I was actually contemplating suicide cause I couldn't stand another second without her, and seeing her happy with someone else.

 

I don't understand her, or her family. Why is her family so nice to me? Why would her sisters say hi to me or openly hug me? I can't even face them. Especially after all that I've done, I think it was mainly my fault that we broke up cause I messed up, even though I was genuinely sorry and honest and always trying to put her needs above mine. I saw my ex though the other day, we walked right past by each other literally, didn't say a single word or make eye contact. Maybe she didn't see me. I'm sure she did, I was next to her. I'm sure she hates me.

 

She doesn't talk trash about me though. At least I don't think she does, and no one says she does when I ask them. She just doesn't want to hear my name or know about me. I think she's trying to erase me from her mind. We were each others first love, for 2 years.

 

I'm starting to pick up the pieces of my life now, and slowly getting back up on my feet. I know I will never have a chance with her again, and I sometimes question myself if I ever should take her back if she should come back to me, after all, she did find someone new, who I suspect she's already been talking to a lot while I was dating her.

Another problem is, at the same time, I don't think I'll ever love anyone the same way ever again, nor do I feel that I will ever be loved again. Even though people say I'm a great guy and all, it does not make me feel any better, because it's been over half a year now and I haven't met anyone. At the same time, I don't want to just find anyone, I want to find the one. A girl to make my wife, I'm honestly ready to settle down with one girl, and one girl only.

[soheartbroken]

6 months is a short time to be thinking of meeting someone else. Clearly you are not entirely over your ex, so don't worry about not finding "the one" during this time. In fact, would you want to meet "the one" while you're still torn up over your ex? Is that the story you want to tell your kids? Don't stress about finding someone yet. Someone will find you when the time is right.

 

Why does she hate you? Cause she's not over you. I don't mean that she wants you back, but she clearly has some issues still over the relationship. Did you do something really evil? If not, she's probably still grieving the loss in her own, warped way. I wouldn't stake any hopes in it though. But you obviously had enough of an impact on her that she still has emotions regarding your past relationship.

[sparkles4]

I had an ex who ended it with me once, and then stopped talking to me for years and spread malicious, untrue rumors about me behind my back. We ended on what I thought were friendly terms, and then there was this completely out-of-nowhere, immature, hateful behavior. And eventually, the guy ended up asking for me back.

 

I think people will do this when there's something unresolved about the breakup in their minds. Maybe they ended it but weren't completely sure of their decision, and feel the need to hate us and pretend we were horrible people in order to justify the breakup to themselves. The opposite of love is indifference, not hate, and this might not be the last you see of this girl.

[Anyway]

...

I think people will do this when there's something unresolved about the breakup in their minds. Maybe they ended it but weren't completely sure of their decision, and feel the need to hate us and pretend we were horrible people in order to justify the breakup to themselves. The opposite of love is indifference, not hate, and this might not be the last you see of this girl.

 

This is so true!

[workinmotion]

"I think people will do this when there's something unresolved about the breakup in their minds. Maybe they ended it but weren't completely sure of their decision, and feel the need to hate us and pretend we were horrible people in order to justify the breakup to themselves. The opposite of love is indifference, not hate, and this might not be the last you see of this girl."

 

I am pretty sure this is exactly what my ex is doing to me now: Trying his best to villianize me in order to make the break up "justified" in his mind. On a somewhat unrelated note I saw he had detagged all the pictures of us together on facebook today and I cried for about an hour.