"Please come back to me."

[dlb74]

Well... anyone who has looked at my two previous topics should have figured that I'm in a lot of pain about my (ex? can I really say that yet? God, I hope not...) girlfriend leaving me yesterday.

 

The nightmare of saying goodbye to her at the departure gate sadly came true. I have always cried when I have said goodbye to her at the airport - and they have always been temporary goodbyes... I'm still hoping there is a chance that this goodbye may not be forever. I'm not sure why I didn't cry as I held her tight... I was certainly crying on the inside. Maybe I had temporarily cried myself out over the preceding 48 hours... or was it that I didn't want tears in my eyes obscuring my vision of her face? Anyway, when we let go of each other, I could only stand there helplessly as she passed through the gate. She glanced back at me a few times with her beautiful big (but sad) eyes before she was lost in the queue and was swept away from me.

 

As there is no viewing gallery at the airport, my friend, who drove us there found a car park next to the airfield. By chance, my girlfirend's plane was the nearest to the fence. She was obviously already on the plane as I never saw her amongst the people who were boarding. I wondered if she was on the side facing me and if she could see me. The day was grey and it had started to rain... Appropriate weather for a broken heart.

 

Eventually, her plane backed out and I still wondered if she could see me standing there as I broke down in the pouring rain. The plane then slowly taxied out of sight and I waited for the next inevitable heartache. And then it happened: I saw the plane screaming along the runway - the opposite side facing me this time - so even if she had been on this other side, I doubt she would have noticed me as the plane took off (maybe one day, I'll find out if she saw me at all). As it took to the air, I blew both the plane (as I wanted it to take her home safely - even if it was taking her away from me) and my beautiful Sab a kiss and said out loud "Please come back to me" through my tears. After that, all I could do was watch the plane vanish into the grey and rainy sky.

 

So... here I am... utterly lost without the comforting presense I have known for the last four and a half years in my life. I did ask her before she left if she would think about things when she got home and to try to reconsider pushing me out of her life. She promised she would do this but said she couldn't make any guarantees as to the outcome. This is good enough for me at the moment for the reason that as long as I have known her, she has kept all of her promises. She is a good woman who was extremely easy to fall in love with... and I still love her. I hope that perhaps she will realise that she has made a mistake when she has time to think about things and may find it in her heart to let me back into her life so that I can prove to her I can make it happier again like I did before.

 

I won't go into details here but I would like to promise her that I will become the man we both want me to be... the man she would want in her life. Of course, I would like us both to benefit from these promises as they are not the stupid empty promises I made all too often in the past... they are promises that are within reach and will be accomplished. All I could ask her is: "Please let me back into your life and you will see that I will never let you down ever again."

 

Time will tell... The Force was with us before, Sab - maybe it will be with us again. [-o

[woobiegirl]

Dear dlb74,

 

I've followed your past 2 posts along with this new one since your g/f 's recent departure. Your description of the loss you feel is very apparent, but at the same time, is clearly written from your heart showing the tremendous love you feel for her. I found it very poetic how you are aware of so many special things about her and can express it in your writing. It's obvious you have allot of love to offer someone special...and whether it is your g/f or someone new, she will be a very lucky lady. The foundation of love is where it all begins...with that we can conquer anything together. That's what we're all looking for, to share life, love & happiness with someone who will work through not only the good days, but the challanging ones as well. That's what builds the bond between two people.

 

I hope in time she will realize that she has the most precious gift of all...someone who loves her with all their heart.

 

Keep us posted...

Take care,

Woobiegirl...

[lisaria]

Hi dlb,

I'm sorry you are hurting so much. It is so sad when we are not with the ones we love and even worse when we don't know if we will ever see or hear from them again. The important thing to remember is that you will get past this. You will feel better. You will be stronger. You will be wiser.

Go ahead and cry if that is what you feel like doing. Scream into your pillow and beat on it with your fists. Get it out! Do it over and over again if that is what you need to do. God knows I did. It is still fresh in your mind and you are still hopeful that she will be back. I hope so for your sake. But if it doesn't work out remember that we are here and pulling for you. Many people read these that never write a post but they are here the same reason we are here. We are all trying to feel better and to get through something that has brought us unbearable pain. We are just trying to get through the day and trying to remember that tomorrow will be better. Just hang in there.

Good luck.

[Lilu]

Dear dlb74,

 

I am sorry you are going through a difficult time with your relationship. I know its hard to see the one we love, slip away out of our hearts. I too went/are going through a similar situation. My ex husband broke the news to me nearly 6 months ago. He told me he wasnt in love with me, anymore. We've been married for nearly 2.5 years. We went through hell with immigration, parents, money..etc since we did married too young.(I was 19 he 22). I even moved to England(where he is from) to settle with him since when he came here to New Jersey, he didn't like it at all. I immigrated to a foreign country, leaving family to live with the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, to only come back and start from square one.

 

My love felt so rejected, and I felt very hurt. But at the end of the day, I know that we can't force anyone to feel the same. If they once loved us and fell out of love, then it is how things go. I know how hard it is to wake up, and realize that what I had, is no longer there. I look back to the good times we had. The special moments we shared, and that brings tears to my eyes. When he broke the news to me, I did tell him many times to reconsider, to have some space from us and think about what he is asking me to do. I thought maybe in a couple of months of being away from eachother, he will realize how much we have going on..and how much love there is. But no, it didnt happen. It was completaly the opposite. He called me about 2 months ago and told me how guilty he feels for breaking my heart. For not being able to do something to make me feel any better. He also shared with me how happy he is with how things are now. That was so hard to swallow.

 

I hope things with your lady turn out well. But without sounding negative....I also hope that IF things don't turn out the way you wanted, you try to do your best to move on with life.

 

Keep possitve and be strong, mate!

 

Smiles & hugs,

Lilu

[DragonGirl724]

oh my god you brought tears to my eyes!!! all i can say is i feel your heartache. damn. im so so so sorry you have to feel this helpless painful heartbreak. i cant emphasize it enough. wow. i wish you all the best. you should pray for comfort & strength. good luck take care of yourself & God Bless.

 

-DG724

 

 

 

"Dont say we have come now to the end, white shores are calling you & I will meet again, and you'll be here in my arms...just sleeping."

[dlb74]

Hello, everyone...

 

I just had to reply to thank you all for your words of support. They have been a great comfort to me during this time. Although we have all found our way to this forum for the same reason, it is very reassuring to see that we can all be there for each other and help each other through this. The forum lives up to its name as it does indeed show us that we are most definitely not alone.

 

Well, it has been only one week since my girlfriend* left me but it feels more like a month. It has to have been the longest week of my life. I've been continuously up and down from day to day, hour to hour. It's been an emotional roller coaster on which I've felt an almost unbearable combination of anger, grief and absolute love. How is it possible to feel those all at the same time? It just doesn't make sense... but then... when did the human heart ever make sense?

 

In trying to make my girlfriend* see "sense", I asked her to try to think about things and if possible, reconsider her decision upon returning home. She promised she would think about things but said she could give no guarantee as to the outcome. Sadly, I am now coming to the realisation that I already know what the outcome will be... She isn't coming back to me. Whatever we had faded out some time ago... for one of us... and when that spark is lost for one, it is ultimately lost for the two. Just as I couldn't help my feelings for her, she too couldn't help her feelings for me - even when she realised she didn't feel the same way about me that she once had.

 

She has asked for no contact for a while and so we more or less agreed to get in touch again at the end of June for the "final decision". Although now that I am accepting that the relationship is indeed over, I will most likely contact her before the end of June - not out of any disrespect for her wishes (as I have a huge amount of respect for both her and her wishes) but to tell her I have accepted the situation. I think only when I do that will we have the closure we both need in order for the healing process to continue unhindered. I feel that when the healing process has ran it's course, there is no reason I can see why we can't be friends. Neither of us dislikes (let alone hates) the other... things just... didn't work out.

 

For the last four and a half years, I was convinced that this girl was the love of my life. Maybe she was the love of my life but sadly, I was just not the love of her life. I suppose I have yet to meet the true love of my life and that she is out there waiting for our paths to cross and that she will be able to return the love I will give to her. Of course, I (and my girlfriend*) am in no massive hurry to find ourselves in another relationship any time soon but you never know what is just around the corner...

 

I'm sorry I can't attach sickbags for you guys but at least while I (and others in our position) can think like that, I have some hope that romance (and indeed love) is most certainly not dead!

 

Well anyway, please stay in touch and take care!

 

Derek.

 

* I know that ex-girlfriend is a far more appropriate term to use here but I still don't have the heart to type it yet!