ive picked my date july 29th, my birthday

[abcd1234]

Its good to hear from you again toggle!

 

Im glad to hear that you are beginning to feel better, as you said, it is a gradual process but it seems like you are well on the way in your journey through it! Just think...in a few months you will be right as rain and pleased with yourself for getting through it.

 

Never look back.

abcd1234

[toggle]

but thats what im scared about, i might get 6 months down the line and another event might happen or i start thinking again and i get depressed and suicidal again.

[spaggle]

my dad told me that it takes more courage to kill yourself than it does to go through a couple of rough times. so think about it. are you going to end everything leaving people who love and care about you behind? or are you going to stay with them growing in the world, learning more and more about realism, truth and beauty, and find out and i mean really find out what the world holds for you. you never know whats around the corner. if like you say this years going to be bad for you, then just think how good years to come will be compared to it! there is no saying what the future holds! imagin if you kill yourself the day before something great happens! how bad would that be! you never know what the world holds whether its good or bad. but just know this. there is always someone in the world that can help you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. just look at how many other messages are on this site! for all you know next year or even in 10 years something so great could have happened to you. and if something great does happen to you and your family. just think what a bummer it would be to realise that you are no longer there with your family because you actually did kill yourself on your birthday, and all you could do was watch from heaven, no longer in contact with those who you love. just an observer to the world and the greatness that it holds. whereas if you stay you could play a major part in this world and the peoples lives who are living around you and you CAN change the world for the better.

 

never leave unless god calls you.

Sarah.x.

[KatieCutie0]

Hey toggle,

it's been a while since ive heard from you. and im glad that i finally am. i still think th at you should seriously reconsider this whole thing. you say that you need someone to talk to? well id say you have a lot of choices... soo many people have responded with their thought, advice, and care. im sure that theyd love to talk to you if you asked. heck, you could tal to me if you want. just so long as you think this through. i dont think you really want to do this. everyone else doesnt want yu to do it either. please dont, dont throw away what you have.

you may want to end your life because it seems so bad, but you should want to lve it, because of all the good. dont do this, talk to someone, do whatever you think would help. go with te good.

i know i ramble a lot, and im sorry if i did. i hope you do contact someone and decide not to go through with this.

*Wishes for the Best*

[Spee]

Dear Toggle,

 

I'm so terribly sorry you feel so depressed. I don't think there's a person in the world who hasn't felt like killing himself sooner or later.

 

Here's my advise:

The depression to which you refer could be a chemical imbalance in your system, made more severe by hormones. So, it may not be 'you' but an illness. If you had a cold would you blame yourself for it? Of course not. You'd get some medicine and some rest.

 

I hope you will seriously consider getting to a doctor. Don't worry about your parents. Just go. Get a good psychiatrist (MD) and tell her all about it.

 

Check out this site:

 

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In our prayers,

 

Spee

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[loveyounomatterwhat]

hey! You know what i've gone through practically the same thing! But i have gotten through most of it! Try to talk to someone that you know would have good advice and would be very supportive of what ur going through! Try to be positive in what you do no matter what happens. And dont let silly matters bring you down i let that happened to me and it almost killed me. and it sucked but i found someone who i could trust in.

 

 

Pm me if you have any questions id love to help!

[i_hate_the_world47]

r u nutz. listen from past experience of slicing my wrists it is no way to go. and killing urself is just stupid. i wanted to once. and i did the same thingas u. and all i ended up with r some nast scars and 3 years of therapy. i also lost the trust of my parents. plz for ur families sake dont do it. it aint worthit. read the quote on my signature and really think about it k

[dpressedone89]

look your date is in less than a month. please i dont want you to do it but im not gonna preach because as someone already said its your choice.can you see from this post that all these people care about you and are gonna be really hurt if you do do it. now ive tried more than a few times im in counceling for a long time now im on heavy medication.i cant evenuse a steak knife at dinner anymore. now i know there is a point where you stop caring about your life and about who it would hurt.if you've reached that point think about the poor underpriveledged kids in third world countries. they would do any thing to have a life like yours even if yours is difficult.you only have a few years left of living with your parents then you can do things your way. try to tough it out. i think that instead of killing yourself on your birthday go out and have the best day of your life.please dont do it. i was very close to doing it myself but my friend Erika said something to me she said "i dont want you to feel that way even if you feel unloved you are loved.everyone is. there are people in the world who sit up at night crying for those who feel unloved." and she wasnt even my friend at the time i barely knew her at all. so you may not even notice but people do care about you.

-sTiTcHeS

[thisisnotanexit]

please don't. it's not worth it. you're missing out on so much. it doesnt seem like it now but it's true. you're special and you can be strong enough to beat this and itll be so worth it. i know you don't know me, but please trust that. suicide (and cutting, etc.) is not a subject to be taken lightly. it's scary and i've recenetly dealt with it personally. if you or anyone you know ever considers it, please reconsider. life is too precious and there are other ways to cope; it solves nothing. please keep this in mind and remember that the dark clouds will lift. you are not alone, remember that. this too shall pass and you will see that. contact me if you want, take care

 

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[dpressedone89]

please dont, i can tell you from personal experience its not the way to go things change so quickly. i had picked my date a while ago and my date came and my friend convinced me to give it like one more week. well in that one week i met the best friend i have had since my best friend died. i had roughly the best week of my life. things can get better quickly and out of nowhere but you need to give it time. and another thing you cant really get too much better because your veiws on alot of things cause your feelings if you view things negatively you will stay down.please give it till your 19, that way if your parents are subliminally messing with your mind youll have time for that to get better or what ever just please i will be really upset if you do

-sTiTcHeS

[jopo]

man, you should just wait until later i mean like, i dont know about your religion, but its probably better to live, than to be dead. I mean maybe you should play dance dance revolution or something. ill tell you most of the time when im feeling down i play video games or try to be creative and artistic. Maybe you should find something you like to do and have fun with it. once you find something that you can accell at then you can say, hey im good at that, and nobody can take it away from me. like when i dance in the arcade while playing DDR, everyone goes "yay dance it up man". just gotta find something you can do.

[ComputerGuy]

I look at it like this, it's that bad you feel it cant get any worse, than doesn't that mean it can only get better???

[toggle]

hiya people,

 

long time no see, eh

 

I havent been on this site in a long time.

At the moment i really dont know what to type, im sitting here with thousands of things going through my brain and nothing coming out.

 

its weird that several months ago i was planing suicide next week during the past month i have had my ups and downs, right now im down, depressed i guess and there is half of me saying to finish it all next week, and the other half of me not to.

 

I cant explain why i feel depressed. Personaly i think im nuts, i honestly feel that i am going crazy i cant help keep putting myself down, my life has been put downs and abuse from school, work and family its like i have no escape. Right now i feel like i have no future and there is no point in me living. I'm getting to the stage where i am scared to leave my room, im scared to go out into town or down to the local shop, its really stupid but i get to cousicous of what i think people are thnking.

 

see why my life is so pathetic, i cant see a future for me.

[keep45]

Toggle - some time ago, I was like you. I had no hope, I was harassed in school, I had no self-esteem, life seemed just total crap. And I wanted to simply end it all.

 

Then, I had a few conversations with people I never met before (online) and they made me feel a little better. I realized that I was being very selfish to my parents and friends by wanting to end my life. What would they do? Say? Feel?

 

I never believed my life could be better again, but I decided to push on again. Right now, I'm experiencing bumps again, but generally, it's been great. A lot of things have gone great for me and I even maybe got myself a girlfriend (I thought I'd never get anyone before).

 

What you have to do is look at the bright side of the world. You don't have to be the number one, no one will care. You have to just be yourself and ignore the bad comments or whatever. That's what I did. I started to ignore idiots (pardon me). If people want to talk about me, so let them! It becomes amusing. And I'm not even a very strong person.

 

I know you must be sick of such advice, but... Don't give up. There's so much in life that you can have and enjoy. Have faith.

[jaiva]

Toggle I'm going to tell you my story I kinda feel like we both had a similar expericence some how. As a child I was sexually molested many times and I buried that/ put it in the back of my mind. I lived life sad and depressed because I never talked about the things that hurt me. I always buried whatever made me sad and I never really thought that there were any good times in my life. At the age of 15 I got into a relationship with a man that was 20 I had sex with him, I had to pregnancy scares. I think I got into that relationship because I wanted a father figure and well since he was my boyfriend I might as well have given him what he wanted, sex. Well, my friend told on me and I had to deal with my mother being upset with me b/c I had sex before marriage and the Pastor of my church on my case. While I was in this relationship I was giving up on school so my grades flew down to D's and F's from being an honor roll student. So I was dealing with a lot of stress that I couldn't handle. I had to be the perfect friend, and listen to everyone's problems and couldn't figure out my own, I had to try to be the perfect daughter even though my mother didn't trust me and she still doesn't, I had to bring up my grades because everyone is telling me that I could do better, they thought I just wasn't trying to. I was trying my hardest to get my homework done and understand what those teachers were saying but my mind wouldn't allow me to becasue I was dealing with to much. The social worker at my school was trying to send me to the mental hospital. She said I was maladaptive. I just didn't want to talk to her. I began to not trust anyone after my friend told on me. I had never talked about me or my real feelings to anyone anyway because I never wanted people to know about what happened to me as a child. I thought that maybe it was my fault. And I had to deal with my mother hollerin and screamin everyday, the teachers telling me I'm going to fail their class like I didn't know that, and even now my mother is still talkin about pressing charges on my ex-boyfriend, which I will refuse to partake in. I'll be seventeen next month I have gotten over that and nobody was really hurt in that relationship. But I've said all that to say this. I found a friend who helped me understand me. He helped me to know what I like and what makes me happy. He knows me inside and out even about my horrible childhood. So things do get better. Maybe I'll be able help you find out your purpose in life or at least what makes you happy. You can pm me if necessary. I'll be here.

I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me b/c I feel that everyone has at least one bad experience in their life. If they haven't had it yet then they see it soon. I'm just one of the success stories. Some one who made it through the bad. I was suicidal and I don't want to talk to people I didn't trust them. I still have trouble telling other people how I feel but I'm working on that with the help of my friend Goofy who is know the person I love the most in the whole world. I owe him my happiness.

Jaiva

[toggle]

hey all,

 

well...here i am again, back from sqaure one...like a big conundrum thats never ending.. paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper..thats how things are going!! never ending!

 

well, yeah, here i am and planning suicide actually before my 18th this year.. not sure when, maybe a month or so time. Ive researched into sucide, im waiting to payday to buy a canister of Nitrogeon Gas, and ive pre-orderd a breathing mask as they had none in stock. lol you could say im taking the "easy" painless option out, but although i wanted to hang my room isnt quite tall enough..

 

so yeah, end is near, and for some reason im actually happy its all ending kinda weird in a way.. so getting rid of all my back log in work so it all don't get lumped on my co-worker, building my website. it just feels so right, like its meant to happen.. i have no future so, so this is my future

 

 

I just really came on to say thanks all, thanks for all the help and i must admit ive givin it and life a darn hard try.. i just aint cut for life soooo whatever the "other" side is like i guess itll be an odd expeirience true im scared of something scary being on the other side, but i wont know till i have a look so to speak.

so, thanks all im not going to type pages on reasons and whys now as im half asleep and i got work in the morning..

 

 

 

night night...gonna go to sleep, well, until my alarm wakes me up in the morning so ill cya all

[Hazel_Eyes]

so ill cya all

 

well you won't if you succeed

[slw1]

Quitter!

[Hazel_Eyes]

OK, i'm gunna say this.. Before you may not have had someone there...correct... But now there is someone there... actually i'm here.. and basically i'm not going anywhere.. anytime soon. I'm guna help you in anyway possible ... i jusst wish you could see how much i care..

No im not being selfish for wanting you to stay alive... I truly CARE about you and hope things dont go as you planned.

I am right here!!! and if you cant see that then you must be blind because killing yourself is only guna make things worse for the people left behind

i dont want you to go lee. i know you said that youll look over me but i cant stand that... im sorry

im not giving up on you

[CrystalDawn]

Your the same age as me and sure things can be bad but you still have alot of life to live. Suicide is a perment solution to a tempary problem I have herd that so much and it finally hit me. Thanks to help from a friend of mine. If I or you commit suicide then we're going to be dead we won't have a chance to make things better, change our lives to the way we want them to be. We're not going to be young forever once eightteen we're adults meaning we can move to an island where no one will bother us and be our own bosses or we can get a loan and start a charity or something to help others that we're like us. Never forgetting what it's like to be young and lost in a world that makes little sense. Commiting suicide will do nothing but take all of that away. From not just oursevles but our friends, familly and even the people we don't know now but will get to know in the future. So please don't take your own life over your problems work though them. Ask for help, go see a doctor if you have to they can help you.

[Hazel_Eyes]

I agree with crystal. Your short term/temparary problems can be sorted through. You shouldn't quit when the going gets tough. There is a whole wide world out there and i'm sure if you looked you'll find some others that will like you for who you are.

If you end it now, it's the end... that's it, no going back.Never again to feel, never again to see touch or even have thoughts let alone second thoughts. Nothing.

I hope you can see wha this means if you do. You have people who care here, please don't ignore us, listen and learn from these mistakes because if you don't then it will be the last thing you do.

I hope you can make the right choices for your future and everyone around you.

Just take a serious moment to think about what it will mean... i mean really think.. deep down .....

Your a great guy despite what your low self esteem preaches, you deserve every right to be here as anyone else has.

We can only guide you.

[thisisnotanexit]

i agree with everyone else here exactly. don't do it, it' snot worth it. at least stick around and see what happens. and see these siites!

 

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hang in there!!!

[Hazel_Eyes]

I'm hurt to the extent I cannot breathe

I'm hurt to the extent it's hard to see

my heart is mutilated

and my mind is torn

what can I say to you now?

 

I'm crying because I love you

even if as a friend

im crying because I cant lose you

why has this got to end?

im crying away the sorrow

but I still don't disappear

 

im lying awake on my bed

insomniac

24 hours a burden

vicious thoughts threaten my heart

threaten my love

threaten my life

 

a sea of red drowns around me

inhale suffocation at will

feel as the pain slowly softens

and nothing can show how I feel

 

living alone in this torture

hoping to have you my friend

don't leave me in this world

all alone

where you were

I hurt again

 

im sorry for being who I am

I cant help the desperation in my tone

I cant hold the tears from falling

I wish my feelings could be shown

 

fire at will and you will take

negatyvity is my downfall

[toggle]

hi all

 

You may know by this post that I have been complimenting suicide.. well, I was planning to commit up coming Tuesday, just that im having second thoughts..

Im confused now.. I want to because of the many reasons I want to go but I want to stay as a care for someone very close to me and I don't want her to be upset…(Hazel_Eyes) but im also thinking its too late now, ive already made her upset and me staying around isn't going to make things much better...

 

If there was anything once there I think it may have gone

 

I need help, im so confused right now

[Hazel_Eyes]

I want to go but I want to stay as a care for someone very close to me and I don't want her to be upset…(Hazel_Eyes) but im also thinking its too late now, ive already made her upset and me staying around isn't going to make things much better...

 

toggle.. i am hurt because of what your going to do. NOT because of who you think you are or what you might have done. If you end it there is NO going back at all, not even to say sorry.

through all my heart i can say i really don't want you to do this and i wish you could see ive only been trying to help you find happiness

 

Please.. don't go