hexaemeron Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I need someone to explain to me why they feel it necessary to talk about feelings all the time with a partner. If things are going well, isn't that enough? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 If you aren't talking about things...things won't be well for long. At the first sign of trouble, you should talk about it. Link to comment
BoddenProBowler06 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I kind of feel the same way actually. I enjoy talking to my partner, but not 24/7 like some couples do. Link to comment
emmyems Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 How can you really know that everything is going well without communicating? Maybe your partner isn't sharing how they really feel because the communication isn't there. You can't be 100% sure everything is okay if you never talk about it. That doesn't mean you need to talk about feelings 24/7, but when it's obvious there's a need on either person's end, things should be discussed before they progress to some irreparable level. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 Maybe this is just my aspieness showing, but it seriously just rubs me the wrong way and makes me want to break up and be alone. It bothers me that much. Link to comment
waveseer Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 This topic reminds me of a joke I used to share with a close friend. "Stand back! I'm about to have a feeling." lol Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 I guess, for me, I'm constantly being pressured to talk, to open up and if I don't have anything to say, I'm a bad boyfriend because I just don't... have anything to say... Left to his devices, my bf would talk about his feelings 24/7. And that's fine. It's not a bad thing for him, but it just isn't how I choose to operate. Link to comment
waveseer Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 One person always has their feelings closer to the surface than the other. How would you like to be with someone who felt pressured by your feelings however rare they may be? Link to comment
Ac143 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Hex you sound like my husband lol Link to comment
vivisection-8 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I guess, for me, I'm constantly being pressured to talk, to open up and if I don't have anything to say, I'm a bad boyfriend because I just don't... have anything to say... Left to his devices, my bf would talk about his feelings 24/7. And that's fine. It's not a bad thing for him, but it just isn't how I choose to operate. From what you have "shared" here already, it seems like your partner is overcompensating for your severe lack of communication by requesting.... overcommunication? Does that even make sense? If you hide everything and internalize everything and then cheat on someone, you should consider yourself lucky the person has chosen to stay with you and is open for communication. He's probably got his own issues to sort through independent of yours and you need to be respectful of that and acknowledge it. This could be part and parcel for recouperating, or maybe he is overdoing it and thats when you say "no, I'm totally cool, I promise". I dont know if you 2 are at the point where your promises mean anything but... The world does not revolve around Hex's aspie tendencies. You too will have to join the land of the living regardless of whether you want to or not, no? :splat: Link to comment
-Sanguine- Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 My boyfriend is the same way as you are. I always want to talk about how I'm feeling while he seems to avoid it alltogether. I don't understand why he does it, I don't understand why I am the opposite. Just how we operate. Link to comment
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