Have feelings for girl, ended friendship

[imbored66]

I will try to make this as short and sweet

 

Basically i've been friends with a girl from work for the last 3 months or so. We began talking and hanging out with the intention of dating, forming a relationship, etc. However about 2 weeks ago she indicated that while she is attracted to me, and does "like" me, she doesn't see me as being "the one" and therefore does not want to commit to an actual boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship.

 

Even though we haven't known each other that long in the grand scheme of things, this hurts, a lot.. I'm the opposite, I think she's the most amazing, beautiful, smart girl i've met and want to take things further.

 

She says she very much wants to be just friends with me, however I don't think I can do it. Too much attraction there on my part, I feel completely miserable when I think about not being with her, or her being with someone else.

 

I told her we can't be friends, just because of how I feel when i'm around her.. she wants one thing, I want another. . I love being around her, same goes for her with me... but I just can't see things being enjoyable with her when I feel so hurt all the time. Getting over it is hard since whenever we talk, i'm continually giving myself false hope that things will change and that she will realize she really does feel the same way about me. Would take forever to get over it like this.

 

She seemed to take it okay, however her close friend told me she has been crying every day the past week or so.. says she feels like she lost someone close. This makes me feel terrible as well since deep down I really just want to her to be happy.. plus she doesn't deserve to feel bad about anything.

 

So what i'm wondering is, by breaking off our friendship, am I being immature? Should I just grow up and be thankful I have someone as good as her wanting to be in my life? or is this an acceptable behavior for this type of situation?

 

Thanks for any opinions/help.

[waveseer]

You have to take care of yourself first and if she's any kind of friend she will understand. Sooner or later she'll get over it, life goes on.

[Esteller]

yea life does go on.. and in order for you guys to be friends like she wants u going to have to get over the feelings of you liking her for more.. just accept and understand that it wont work out. thats the first step. you know who knows maybe things will turn around but u cant hope for it to.

[anya1607307555]

Should I just grow up and be thankful I have someone as good as her wanting to be in my life?

 

You may decide on this after time apart, expect some to-ing and fro-ing over what feels best. Get some space between yourselves, you don't need to completely blank her, just refrain from initiating contact for a couple of months. When/if the feelings have subsided, friendly contact may be possible.

 

Naturally she's upset too, you've both lost something. Doesn't mean it wasn't the best decision for you though.

[oreocat]

i think what your doing is the best path. I have taken the other path and every time I would see that man he would take another piece of my heart with him. It was like I had to sacrifice a new piece of my broken heart to keep him in my life. I GOT TIRED OF JUST "SETTLING" FOR BEING FRIENDS. I finally had to cut him off, but i was held captive by my love for him for almost 5 years and messed up other relationships because of it.

 

There is a slim chance that this silly girl will realize that she does love you and then you will have a happy ending. Maybe, your hurting her will make you more valuable to her and she will try to "win your love" (alot of women just love the a$$hole type (I've been there))but unless you want to be relegated to her "friends" stable or "big brother" club forever I would just do what your doing. I know its hard.......