mouton Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Hi, my first post here. Not sure how to put this but I'll try to start here. I'm 29, she's 20. I don't know what to do because she doesn't like sex, making out, nor is she ever affectionate. We've been together for 3 months so far and have slept together 4 times. We'll be 5 minutes into sex and she's enjoying the hell out of it and then she'll just stop and say, "Are you almost done yet?" She doesn't get turned on by anything that I do. She doesn't want to and I don't think she knows how to; sex just flat out doesn't interest her and it's driving me crazy. She's not very experienced either though. I have tried to kiss her neck, back, ears, sex toys, etc...NOTHING works. I don't know what to do. I even asked her ex about it and she was the same way with him. She loves going to Victoria's Secret and dressing extremely sexy, as well she ought to because she has a hell of a body. She even got a boob job last year. Why get plastic surgery and dress sexy if you're not going to do anything about it or with it? I don't know what to do and it's frustrating as hell. We've had serious talks about it and she said that it just doesn't interest her. She could care less about it. Any advice? Link to comment
SoSick Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Honestly, it just sounds like she's not really attracted to you in that way. I say that because I acted the SAME way with one of my ex's because I was NOT sexually attracted to him. That could possbly be it? Either that or she may have some self image problems in the bedroom. Link to comment
mouton Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Sometimes I think she's scared b/c I'm only the second guy she's ever been with. Nothing turns her on. She's very innocent in the relationship department. She tells me she loves me more than anyone she's ever been with and she misses me all the time (long distance thing). If we go out drinking and she gets drunk, she'll want to have sex, but i don't want to have to get my girlfriend drunk every time I want to have sex. hah Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 You've only been with her for 3 months. Have you attempted to try to find the good qualities that she has, before judging her sexually? I'm sure that she's more than just a girl "with a hot body, that had a boob job last year." Also, If I were her, and you asked my ex about our sex life, I'd end it with you immediately. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 You've only been with her for 3 months. Have you attempted to try to find the good qualities that she has, before judging her sexually? I'm sure that she's more than just a girl "with a hot body, that had a boob job last year." Also, If I were her, and you asked my ex about our sex life, I'd end it with you immediately. Yeah, I'm usually the harshest one in town, and even I think this is a bit... much. He's asking for help. I mean, if he didn't care about her as a person and only wanted to get into her canned ham, I highly doubt he'd be here. Just because a man is concerned about a lack of sex in a relationship at a time when it should be outright flush doesn't make him a monster, HGO. I guess he should have just written her off as frigid and moved on, right? Link to comment
SoSick Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Wow, that was pretty mean spirited. I've NEVER just judged her sexually. If you don't have anything productive to say, don't say it. You have no freaking idea how close her and I are, even after 3 months. I was making a point about how she loves to be sexual in a non-sex type of way. You don't know a damn thing about us or our relationship. I came here for help with our relationship, not to get bashed. Good job twisting my words. Please don't post in my thread anymore. Hey calm down. I think Heart was just asking you if you had attempted to find other good qualities about your girlfriend, that's all. You have to tell us how your relationship is, otherwise we just go off of what you posted. Have you tried talking to her about this problem you guys are having? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Yeah, I'm usually the harshest one in town, and even I think this is a bit... much. He's asking for help. I mean, if he didn't care about her as a person and only wanted to get into her canned ham, I highly doubt he'd be here. Just because a man is concerned about a lack of sex in a relationship at a time when it should be outright flush doesn't make him a monster, HGO. I guess he should have just written her off as frigid and moved on, right? Hex... I usually agree with what you post, but this entire thread was about sex, and nothing about her other qualities. Also, how am I being harsh when I said I would leave him immediately if he asked my ex about our previous sex life? Do you actually think that is being respectful? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Hey calm down. I think Heart was just asking you if you had attempted to find other good qualities about your girlfriend, that's all. You have to tell us how your relationship is, otherwise we just go off of what you posted. Have you tried talking to her about this problem you guys are having? Thank you...SoSick. Link to comment
shygal2008 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 You are a lot older then her and she probably isn't attracted to you in that way!!!!!! I know my nieces who are her age date 20, maybe 21 yr olds...boys who are more their speed. Maybe you'd both be more compatible with ppl your own age? Maybe try dating a woman, someone that is your age? Someone with more experience that cares about sex. She may not be sexually awakened yet--she's young still. Link to comment
SoSick Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Thank you...SoSick. No problem. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 She's not very experienced? Think she may be turned off by the fact that you're pushing for sex? I mean, I'd be pretty freaked out if I was dating someone much older than me and be worried that he only wanted my body. She's probably got her guard on. Link to comment
shygal2008 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I was thinking the same thing..she's probably not comfortable being a sex object..she probably would be more comfortable with a boy her own age. I dated a man once 10 years older--in the end it won't last, its about sex--which i didn't want with him either and that girl needs more than that. She's still maturing and needs to be with someone to grow with. Link to comment
mouton Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Thanks HGO, you basically called me shallow and I GET THE WARNING from the mod. I appreciate it. Our relationship is not based on sex. We have a lot of things in common, we have a ton of fun together, we've shared a lot of experiences, and we respect each other. She just doesn't like sex and it bothers me. That's why I'm here, to ask for advice. Link to comment
avman Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Thread now closed. mouton I suggest you follow our posting guidelines. Link to comment
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