The brush-off?

[Alien777]

A few months ago I met Ursula through a friend of mine called Jodie. I really liked this girl Ursula but she had a bf at the time so there was not much going on between us. Now a few days later my friend Jodie phones me and tells me that Ursula has broken up with her bf and we should get together and do something. So Jodie texts me Ursulas number and then texts my number to Ursula. Later that evening I get a text from Ursula: "Hi I am Ursula (remember me?). Jodie gave me your number, we should go for a drink one evening, let me know when. Bye" So I give her a call, we have a nice chat, a good laugh and decide to meet on Wednesday at 17:00 in the evening. There is a bar/resturant on the beachfront that has a fantastic view of the sunset. I said that I would phone her at 15:00 to arrange where we would meet and where we were going, etc.

So wednesday comes (lovely day by the way) and I try to call her, surprise, surprise, her phone is off. So I just send her a text message and leave it at that. No reply. Later that evening I send her another text saying: "Couldnt get hold of u 2day. Do u still want to go for that drink?", she replies back: "Sorry I didnt call sooner, will call u 2mrrw".

So the next day she sends me an email and says "Sorry about yesterday, but my ex came to see me on Monday and asked me to give him another chance, at first I didnt want to, but I am giving him 3 months to prove himself. Anyways the battery on my phone was dead too. I still want to stay in contact with you, so please still email me. Btw how was your weekend away up the coast? Jodie also tells me that u r going overseas soon where do u plan on going?" I mean for crying out loud, she just disses me the previous day on a drink/date, for her ex who is a total loser and never respects her. Then she tells me oh her battery was low, yeah right. Then she says but please still email me why? So that I can be her shoulder to cry on or rebound-boy when her white-trash boyfriend starts his nonsense again. All I want to know from this forum is what should I do? Is she lying or telling the truth? If she didnt like me why did she contact me, she is not going to hurt my feeling if she is just honest with me. Should I stay friends with her, leave her alone? If I am getting this much bull**** before we are going out, I dont want to begin imagining how much is on the way. What should I do?

Thanx 0X

[sweetharmony]

it sounds like she likes you, but still loves her ex. (my thought) she hopes that things will work out with her ex, but is keeping you as back-up in case things don't work out b/w her and her ex. I think the phone thing may or may not be true. you never know. my phone dies all the time- it's horrible and then people can never get a hold of me (only have one cell and one cordless) both w/ poor batteries. but that's not the point. if you want to stay friends with her, fine. but don't be the pathetic guy waiting for her to come to you. would you want to be the one she runs to after her and her boyfriend breakup again (which is inevitable)? If you want to be her friend, fine. I think she was pretty honest with you. she didn't have to tell you about her ex. BUT it was pretty rude that she dissed you and didn't give you notice prior to the date. that was pretty rude. she could have found a phone elsewhere or at least text messaged you.

 

But , if you want to be a friend, fine. but if she does something like that again, then I would make it very clear that friends don't cancel plans, etc... don't put up w/ that kind of behavior. but everyone makes mistakes, so you have to give people chances to prove themselves better.

 

....Maybe if you're her friend, she'll realize how great you are and when things go awry w/ her ex, she'll realize that the two of you have a bond. but don't wait around for that, 'cause you never know. date other people and when/ if she does realize she likes you, don't jump at the chance to date her. take it slow, b/c people who keep running back to bad exes tend to repeat that pattern many times.