My heart is breaking

[lotus26]

Please i would love so advice.

I was seeing this guy, we became very close very quick, we got on so well it was scary! we spent alot of time together, we shared everything together and told each other everything.

He started to get really busy at work 12 hour days 6 days a week plus he started doing a course 2 nights a week, even then everything was fine. Then he statred letting me down, said he would be here at certain times but was late (cause he had to work late) me being the horrible girl i am started having a go at him about it.

we worked through it.

Then he said he would call me on the friday, i didnt hear from him, he texts at 3am drunk, how are you baby. I got really angry and upset, then the next day saturday he came over for about 20 minutes to help me with something and left. On sunday i text him and said if you dont want to be with me please tell me, he told me that he was so busy he could only be friends with me right now. a few hours later i go to a bar and there he is sitting there with his friends and a strange girl.....to busy but can go to a bar??

I saaid hello and sat at the other end of the place, a few hours later i left and he was still there, a few hours later he text me saying how nice i am and that he was not seeing anyone.

The next day my heart was breaking, i told him. He told me he was not seeing anyone he told me he could only be friends, he told me i was beautiful and he wants to hang out as friends but he does not want to see me with another guy, ever!

 

Please someone give me some advice.

Is he that confused or playing the field? (cause really i thought he was not that type)

Obviously i can never go back to him cause he lied but i am just so hurt and so confused, i loved this person how could they do this to me.

 

Thanks xx

[savignon]

How long were you seeing each other for?

Guys and gals can go from hot to cold but not so easily and readily from cold to hot. That is to say that once you get "friendzoned" as the expression goes, it's hard to get out of there.

Playing the field? Yes. If he wanted a relationship with you, he would make time to see you and spend time with you and not give you the "friends" line.

When he tells you he doesn't want to see you with another guy, tell him, "Well, you'll be seeing me out with other guys b/c I'm looking for a boyfriend...not a friend"

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone. well, i wouldn't hang out with him as a friend until you are ready for that. i think it's rather selfish for him to say to you, "i don't want to be your boyfriend, but i don't want anyone else to be your boyfriend either." not cool. i would move on, and start meeting new guys to date. he may just not be ready for a relationship. i would give him all the space in the world. who knows? he might miss you and want you back. but i would back way off, that's for sure.

[lotus26]

Hi,

 

Thanks for your'e replies.

It was only about 7 months, but it was really intense, he would talk about a future with me and everything, the week before i met all his bosses from work and he introduced me as his partner.

It really hurts.

My friends have told me not to text him, call him or contact him in anyway, i was stupid the day after and told him my heart was broken and i loved him (now i wish i didnt do it)

He told me he still likes me thats why he did not want to see me with any other guys.

you still like me but you cant be with me?

My friends also said he will probably come crawling back after he has realised i was not that bad after all.

what do i do? just delete his number so i cant contact him in anyway?

[Casey13]

"I just want to be friends but I dont want to see you with another guy, ever?" pretty much the same as saying: "I would appreciate if you wash my car for me and I want you to pay me for doing it." Doesn't that sound silly to you?

 

My best guess is that things moved much too quickly for his liking and eventually he decided he wants out. Instead of having the courage to break it off with you in a civil manner, he tried to formulate an exit plan that wouldn't require him to break it off with you face to face. Some men are like that. It's just one of those things you have to get over and you will in time. It hurts but it will get better.