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making enemies


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I have a neighbor, we'll call him Tim. Tim and I used to hang out on a daily basis. Something happened and he stopped returning my text messages and calls. I got the hint after a couple of days. It bothered me that I lost a friend but I soon realized he only has one close female friend at a time. There was a girl before me that he did the same thing to. New Jersey thing?


I said hi to him a few times when I see him and he always ignored me so now I see him and say nothing. I treat him like I would a stranger.


He has a friend. We'll call him Jeff. I met him once. He was okay but was racist. Bothered me...a lot! I think I made an enemy when I didn't laugh at his racist jokes. I was just offended by them. Both of them picked up that there was tension. Later than evening, Tim started talking about how crazy his exes were. I stood there thinking that maybe they weren't so crazy. I explained that perhaps they saw the situation differently and that would justify their actions. I crossed the line but eh...when you talk about things like that you are opening yourself up to others' opinions.


So I am assuming I made some enemies since no one talks to me. Thank goodness they haven't been quite so immature to damage my car. Tim knows what I drive and I know Jeff has seen me driving my car.


Anyway, the point of my post is that lately I see Jeff hanging out by the pool. You can see my front door from the pool. I see him sitting there...glaring...whenever I get my mail, walk to the gym, go to my car. I'm getting tired of this. What can I say/do to get this to stop?


I am moving to an apartment on the other side of the complex but I will still have to walk by the pool to get to the gym and get my mail. However, I won't have to worry about people glaring at me while I am walking to my car. This whole situation is like having an ex-BF but we were only friends.

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I had the same thing happen with a "friend" chilled played pool, partied here and there and one day he stopped talking to me...


The thing that i havent done tha tmaybe you should try is ask him what his problem is and what if you did anything ??


You could treaten violence but that never goes good. Your other choice is look for a place far away, if you do and there still creeping around then call the cops.



Or you can get a gun license and get your self a shot gun so next time jeff stairs you can can stair back at him with your gun



This is just me but it sounds like maybe he was hoping to get something out of you, i think you know what i mean.


Wow talk about two low lifes.

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HEMI_dude, yeah, I see what you are saying. It may have been the case since he was always complaining about not having a GF. It also could have been jealousy. He knows most engineers make more starting than he could ever hope to make in his career (science degree). He expressed that to me a few times. I dunno...obviously there was something wrong but it's in the past. And if I contact him again it would be wasted since we haven't spoken in 2 months...maybe longer...maybe shorter.


I don't think they would get violent. I also don't think they would waste their time looking for me if I moved. It would be a bad situation if Jeff ended up being my new neighbor instead of Tim. Anyway, they just seem to be like animals protecting their territory. They don't bother my territory (car, apartment, etc) but try to protect theirs by glaring at me when I walk outside my territory...on what should be neutral territory!


BTW, I just finished reading your post since it was so similar to my situation right before I checked this post.

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Yeah they really sound like there in pre-school.


I really dont understand people there your friend one day next day they are a stranger woh disslikes you. This is why people sometimes suck and why i dont bother socializing.


I think these guys are playing mind games, they enjoy the fact that someone is in fear cause of them. Talk to other people around see if they find them to be creeps or what, most likely you arent the only one.


And thanks for reading my post

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i would confront the first friend and ask him * * * ? Make sure he is alone with out his wing man. Try to shame him by pointing out his childish behavior and how disappointed you are that you thought he was your friend and now he treats you like crap. Do it very kindly at first, but end the conversation firmly and dismissively, making sure he get the point that you do not stand for people in your life that act that way. Then cut him out of you life completely. Oh and do this in public with witness nearby, the pool is your best bet.

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Just ignore him. Obviously you did something to upset/offend him. And he frankly is acting like a 5 year old. Think about it. He probably didn't value the friendship much. i know that sounds harsh, but a good friend doesn't dump a friendship just like that. Not somebody you care about a lot. Surely he would talk it over, express what the problem, and find a resolution. Given he is acting immaturely, he probably wasn't good friend material for you in the first place.


The second point is you as a female, from reading under your avatar, have the advantage. Should he attack you, whether verbally or physically, societal morals in itself would make persons side with you. If you heard a woman being attacked in your neighbourhood, and the attacker was a man, wouldn't you side with the woman instinctively? It's not, IMO, sexism, but I guess people are more protective of women due to the physical power difference of males and females.


Just go about your life, and ignore the * * * * lol. His behavior seems really weird and wacked out, so rise above him.

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