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Advice for her "First Time"


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So my girlfriend was out here for a week (Online relationship, first visit), and after a week of playing around with touching, handjobs, and blowjobs we wanted to try the real thing. It was the day before she had to go back to California, so we only could give it one try. The problem we had was it was just way too painful for her, she was about to cry from just my head somewhat in there.


To add some info, she's already broken it a little, there's enough room for a finger to go past. She also has fibromyalgia, and this causes pain to be more intense than it normally would be. Something about the nerve endings being more sensitive. The way we started was a lot of foreplay. First kissing/making out, then oral, and then trying a finger. At first it was a little painful with just one of my fingers in (she's 5'2 and has a smaller hand than I do), but she got used to it. Then we tried using two fingers, pinky and ring finger, and it was more painful but after about 30 minutes of slowly going further in and moving them around a little, she got a LITTLE used to it, but it was more painful going in than out for her after my fingers had been as far as they could go. After that, we thought that Maybe we should try using the real thing, but it just couldn't be done. She was almost about to cry from just my head going in. As a last resort, we were going to try just pushing it in anyway, but I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to do it either, it was causing her so much pain, it scared me a little.


Is there anything we can do to make it better? We had a bottle of Astroglide, and we used a lot of it every time we tried anything of this nature, so lube was Not a problem. We also used a condom to eliminate any possible pain from fingernails even though I trimmed them down to make sure (they weren't long before though). We're thinking that trying to do it in one night and leading into sex in that night just isn't going to work for her. She has about 4 months until we get to meet again (we chat online with webcams FYI), so one idea was that she just little by little breaks the hymen more and more. Another idea was somehow finding a doctor to give her some anasthesia of some kind to break it for her. She's going to go to the gynecologist when she can to ask her when she can, but some advice would be appreciated.

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I didn't know you could get doctors to do that for you?


Does she use tampons? That could be a good vaginal practice...? Sometimes, tampons break it for you.


It could've just been nerves too...the more she anticipated the pain, the more intense it got...especially with he disease thing that you mentioned. It's a well known fact that a woman's first time hurts like a B**** so she could have been scared about that and that made the pain even worse??? I dunno.


Also, she could always get toys for herself to practice and make things more loose.

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yes, they do have surgeries where you can "snip" the hymen to open it up, but I think that even after that you can't have sex the very next day (the doctor would know). But getting her to losen up with vibrators and tampons is probably the best way, it's not going to happen overnight.

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We did buy a vibrator for the night, but she couldn't take it with her over the airplane so I'll be sending it over to her along with some other things. Like I said, the next time we both have time off is in 4 months, December 12th, so she has time to try to break it more herself. The anticipation could definitely play a part, but she wasn't actually expecting it to hurt since she had already broken it enough to put a finger through for herself, so I dunno.


Well, she has 4 months before we get to visit again, so doing it over time might work I suppose. She may end up doing it the surgical way, but whatever way works for her. I just want her to feel alright.

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This sounds like when I tried to lose it. I can't even describe the pain. Anyway I was really nervous about it and I think that caused me to tense up making it even harder. I would say make sure the mood is set, maybe aroma therapy candles, music, massage oils and all that. It might make her a little less tense. Everyone else's advice is good too. Hope everything works out for u.

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