Trying to get it back...

[Mooky]

In my last post, I discussed how my ex contacted me after a month NC to let me know she was in town. Without going too in depth - we broke up after four years together (two being LDR). We broke up in the Fall of last year and began talking around Spring of this year full NC. Things were amazing and then they went sour - plus the LDR was a huge issue for me and I was putting career first at the time.

 

 

Anyhow, she invited me out while she was in town and we had an amazing time together. It reminded me of what it was like to be with her again when things were good. She let me know that she too had a great time together and agreed to see me the next night. When we were together the second night - I brought up getting back together again and how it would have to be different this time if we did. I think we both agreed about how it should be - and I almost thought that we were close to doing so.

 

Unfortunately, she said that she was not ready to make this decision yet - and she had alot to think about - and off she went. Since we would be LDR (I say temporarily, because I'd be willing to move now) that could be a reason against it - but I don't think that's the whole reason she'd oppose it. She said that half of her wants to see what it would be like now, but half of her wants to be free to do whatever she wants. Its hard for me - because I truly realize that she is the one I want to be with, but I have stigmatized myself with her and close friends because of the pain I caused her leading up to the break up and at the time of it ending. Our fights just grew harsher towards the end, and I think that experience soured her - too far gone possibly.

 

Anyway - I think I laid it on alittle thick recently - and I just want some advice as to how to get her on my side again so that we can be back together - but without being too much and pushing her away. I know the easiest thing to do would be give her space and pursue others, but is there anything I can do to have a successful outcome?

[Esteller]

well haha to be honest the best thing you could do to increase your successfulness is to give it time. give her her space and let her think... what you can do is listen to her when she talks and not try to tell her you want her back so much.. you have to show her you want to change.. and that takes time.. so be patient wit yourself.

[catfeeder]

If things will really be different, start by demonstrating patience and respect for the time and space she needs to think things through. If you start playing salesman, you could kill the deal.

 

In your corner.