Always listen to your gut.

[ameliamolly]

I had a gut feeling that he has not changed. But he insisted he was different now. I saw the red flags, but I kept hoping for better out of him.

 

I have been posting here lately about my confusion on possibly getting back together with my X. Brief story. We were together for 3 years, apart for 10 months and I have a new BF for 8 months. My X had some anger issues, and he was verbally abusive towards me, and that's why I finally broke up with him to start over.

 

He has kept in contact-maybe 1 or 2 x a month, but we have been talking over the last 2 weeks and I have been trying to see if he has worked out any of his issues. I had a gut feeling that nothings changed and boy was I right.

 

Last night he called me when he was completely drunk, not making any sense on the phone and threatening suicide. Yes, I know, very bad. I called his sister to tell her I was worried and his family TRIED to intervene. His anger came out when they showed up at his house, he completely flipped a switch- just like the old times with me. He was punching walls, belittling everyone in the room. His family asked me to go over to his house in the midst of the scene and I did. And on some level I am really glad I got to see the real him, the supposed changed him.

 

After seeing the turmoil second hand instead of being the object of his anger- my decision was made instantly. But I really think it was a decision I already knew I had to make somewhere deep down. The decision was to not be with him. Not now. Not next month. Not ever.

 

I can't believe I was thinking of giving up a perfectly healthy relationship with my current BF to go back to him. Of course all relationships need work, but it's all about what the 2 people involved want to put into it....Anger or Love...you decide.

[Hopingpraying]

Amelia,

 

I am glad you came to that realization and saw all that. I do believe people can change, but they have to want to change. It sounds like he has not changed and probably won't. But you saw what you needed too. Keep your chin up you are doing the right thing.

[avman]

Amelia,

 

Thank God you saw what you were in for and could avoid going right back to the same situation you left.

 

Consider it a REAL lucky break and enjoy your relationship with your BF. Let him treat you right - you DO deserve it.

 

avman

[kleptoz28]

Amelia,

 

It's a good thing you realized that when you did. I've never understood why some women will leave a perfectly healthy relationship to go back to an abusive ex, but it's certainly good for you that you've decided not to.

[ElephantRider]

What if despite the fact that someone has told you that it is over, your gut just says that its not. My ex says that she doesn't know if she'll ever come back to me. I have been broken up with before and never had this feeling. I don't know if it is me just doing the wishful thinking, but it doesn't feel like its over. Deep down I feel like she still loves me and is going to come back.