Is wining and dining your ex a bad idea?

[Allicat]

Ok. we split up about 3 weeks ago. we have had some time apart and talked once since we split up. he told me that he cared very deeply for me, but felt that i had changed I lost my father 4 months ago and went through some emotions which unfortunately changed me a bit.

I really want to talk to him again and see how he feels about us being together, as last time he said that he had been hurting a lot, and doing some thinking " am i the one?" etc.

If i was to message him and ask him to come over for dinner friday night and just chat, and have some wine etc, does anyone think it is a bad idea? I am hoping that by doing this either 2 things will happen.

He will either realise that we still connect and are good together, and perhaps rekindle something, or it will start us off on the right step to being good friends. Am i being stupid by making this move, or should i just forget what he said to me and just 'get over it'?

I would really love some help on this! [/i]

[Michael2]

I know when my ex's sister passed away, she had changed, but not for the worse. SHe was dealing with a very difficult situation, which did in fact put stress on our relationship, but it was something we were able to overcome.

 

In regards to your ex. The entire, you changed mentally seems a bit lame. Can you honestly say to yoruself that you changed so drastically that he didnt want to be with you. I doubt it.

 

I wish you the best. Keep your chin up. Talk with him. If he isnt willing ti budge then I suggest you reconsider wanting to be with a man who would break ur heart after the passing of your father.

[kleptoz28]

If the conversation with him up to this point has been of a friendly tone, I don't see where it could hurt. I've seen having a drink or two with an ex bring out what they're really thinking. Sometimes people open up a bit more and are more willing to say if they miss someone.

 

The only reason I wouldn't advise it would be if the conversations so far with him were unpleasant or if he kept cutting contact short with you.

[Hopingpraying]

It is not a bad idea as long as you can handle the outcome, and what I mean by that is whether it goes good or badly.

I am not trying to bring you down, based on what you have said he very well could want to be with you, but you have to be able to accept it if he doesn't. If the possiblity that he is not going to want to get back together with you kills you then you may want to re-think it. Whatever you do just don't have some wine and jump back in the sack with him I don't think that would be good for either of you. Take it slow, easy. Ease back into the relationship. Figure out what went wrong the first time so it doesn't happen again. There is nothing worse then getting your heart broke twice by the same person.

 

Good luck. Be strong, and keep us posted!!