Just broke NC after almost 4 months

[snuupi]

I've kept NC since 4th of May... and today finally broke it.

 

Like I said I wanted to break the NC a few weeks ago to tell him I thought it was a pity that we didn't have any contact, but he gave me a reason to mail him back.

 

Some Minutes ago he was online on ICQ and I just didn't think and contacted him with a "hi" .. felt like my heart was going crazy but some seconds later I calmed myself down with the thoughts, he'd lied to me and maybe even cheated on me and that tehre isn't any love inside of me anymore, I guess. And it worked.

His answer?? a quote of my status message... like he always did the last 4 months.. "'i don't associate anything with that name anymore.' whose name?"

my answer: "you don't know him. what about a "hi" or somthing??"

he: "shall I bully him??"

i: "why?"

he: "found it funny, cause you wanted me to say hi..."

 

 

aha. I think I slowly get to know how stupid this guy really is and that I rather want a relationship with another guy I don't know yet than with him.

Feels a little strange to finally begin to let him go forever, but I think I'm close to do so.

 

What do you think of this?

[Reilly2856]

I know a lot of people advocate NC. I am one of those. But sometimes, you need to have encounters as such as the one you've just described to realize how much better you are without that particular person. There's a reason why things didn't work out between you two. At the time, those reasons were valid. Unless those reasons have changed, they are still valid today. Don't go second guessing yourself on why it didn't work out between you two. I can understand that it is really hard to move on. You crave for that person despite knowing they were not wrong for you. Those cravings are not wrong, they are part of the healing process. I would suggest that next time you feel like talking to him, just remove yourself from the computer/telephone or any other communication device and go busy yourself with something else. You'll see that eventually that need to talk to him will pass. Slowly, you will need less and less of him.

As for this particular event, I think it only helped you realize what perhaps you already knew...its better he's out of your life.