my mum shows signs of possible borderline personality disorder

[catuser7]

The title pretty much explains itself. I have been on google and seen the similarities between the borderline personality disorder and my mum's behaviour. ie; a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, feelings of emptiness, inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper and constant anger.) She also displays paranoia and black and white thinking about most people.

Sometimes seeks attention.

 

Background information:

 

She was abused by her mother, who was in and out of mental hospitals and seemed to be on medication all the time.

 

My dad also was violent towards her and was also an alcholic. He was also very controlling.

 

I understand that all this was difficult and distressing but she blames these events for who she is now.

 

She is unhappy at work and says that all her colleagues are mean to her and the phone calls she has to take are very stressful. I only believe this to an extent, cos recently she has tended to lie or exaggerate about events.

 

She thinks she is right about everything. She thinks everyone is out to get her and if you tell her something contradicts the things she is telling you, she loses it.

 

She is very judgmental and patronising around friends and family: her "nearest and dearest" and she doesn't listen to anyone. Even when they are just trying to help.

 

I have tried everything. I have tried to persuade her to seek help, I have tried to block her out, but nothing works. She has been like this for 6 years and now she is starting to treat my brother the same.

 

Any ideas? I'm at my wits end!

[gottafeeling]

I don't know if it will help, but I just heard about a book yesterday called "I hate you-Don't leave me" It talks about BPD.

[John Bendix]

With the vast amount of depressive disorders, denial is both a consequence and a symptom. "There is nothing wrong with me. You all are crazy", has been heard many times. Or the old saying, "I would not be so paranoid if everyone was not always against me".

 

The first step is getting someone, in your mom's situation, to first recognize that she may have a problem. That is also the hardest one. The problems that they are having with dealing with the world are, to them, overwhelming. In their present mindset, they are unable to take on anything else. Thus, trying to accept that they may have a problem is monumental.

 

Her response to either your's or your brother's (or any other person's)intervention to help her will probably be shut out without even being heard. Sorry, she may well live the rest of her life like this. I know that my X will.