X-BF has new GF, but still loves/sleeps with me! Need advice

[TrueHeart]

My XBF and I have been friends since we split up. We dated for 3 years, and then we grew apart. He was young, 18-- and I was barely 21. Its been 2 years since we've dated, and we rarely even spoke. I had a BF and he went thru several women.

 

We've been talking a lot lately, but he's just got a new GF... She's kind of flaky, and she has to hide her relationship with him from everyone because he is not a devout Christian. She is a virgin, and he refuses to sleep with her despite her pressure to lose her virginity to him... She also goes to school and lives 2.5 hours away up state.

 

Thing is, he still tells me he loves me, and she knows that he does too... However, when we're together, he acts like it is he and I that are BF/GF. Just the other night, we slept with eachother-- one thing led to another. He hasn't told her that we slept together, despite their "honest" relationship-- and I'm starting to have those "old feelings" rekindle.

 

I know its not my place, but I feel its wrong for him to "cheat" on his GF with me-- even though I don't mind the attention. Thing is, I'm still in love with him too...

 

What should I do?

[Allicat]

I think that you guys are still very much in love with each other. Unfortunatley though we all have these 'animal' urges, and yes, one thing leads to another. He doesn't sound entirely happy in his current relationship, and sometimes we don't realise what we've got till it's gone, ie you.

I think that if the old feelings are coming back, you need to sit down and think hard about if it is really what you want. You don't want to be the 'other woman' as it never works. But if you feel within yourself that he is worth it, then i say go for it! Make your move, and listen to what your heart tells you.

 

[kleptoz28]

It's quite possible that you two may still love each other. But be in control of those "urges", because like someone else already said, you don't want to be the "other woman".

 

Think about this all for yourself and then talk to this guy, but make it very clear that he has to choose between this girl and you, and don't sleep with him again while he's seeing someone else.

 

The final thing to consider is that "once a cheater, always a cheater" usually holds true. If he would cheat on her with you, can you be entirely sure that someday he wouldn't do the same to you with someone else?

[michaeltinker]

force the choice her or you

 

you deserve to have a man that will love and honor you properly

[TrueHeart]

Hey thanks guys...

 

I spoke to him tonight about it.. He said he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing was 100% right with this girl, that he doesn't know what he wants. He does know that he loves me, and cares about me deeply. We made an arrangement that we would not sleep with one another until we were sure 100% we wanted to reconcile... and that means, her being out of the picture...

 

There are a lot of choices that have to be made here very soon. Hopefully, I'll make the right ones! I'll keep you all posted! thanks so much for looking and helping me out! \