Lauren8785 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Alright so I am confused. Is attraction just looks or can it be other things as well?? If so, what kind of things? In another post on a diff subject I mentioned this briefly, I'm always bummed because everytime I approach a guy and tell them I like them more then a friend I ALWAYS hear they only like me as a friend and frankly I am sick of hearing that plus it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I don't understand why they wouldn't be attracted to me. I have asked them if they thought I was ugly and they tell me no, so if Im not ugly to them then why not date me?? Doesn't make sense to me, that is where I am confused I'm confident in myself. I like myself for who I am inside and out. I don't think I am ugly. I'm very friendly and approachable. I have a lot of good friends. So I do not see why I can't find someone whos interested in me like that!!! Im just baffeled! Thanks for your time and opinions!! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Is attraction just looks or can it be other things as well?? If so, what kind of things? Yes, there is more to attraction than just looks - it's called "chemistry". If the right chemsitry is there, then things almost always go well, no matter if one is stunningly hot, or simply average (imo). I can't help getting the impression that perhaps you move too quickly on these guys? Too much, too soon? Wanting, expecting (any maybe pushing) too much, too soon? I could be wrong of course, but just a thought. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yes, there is more to attraction than just looks - it's called "chemistry". If the right chemsitry is there, then things almost always go well, no matter if one is stunningly hot, or simply average (imo). I can't help getting the impression that perhaps you move too quickly on these guys? Too much, too soon? Wanting, expecting (any maybe pushing) too much, too soon? I could be wrong of course, but just a thought. I'm sorry Im not sure what you mean by the BOLDED text?? Could you please give an example? Thanks! Link to comment
Pegasus Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Alright so I am confused. Is attraction just looks or can it be other things as well?? If so, what kind of things? If there is not satisfactory looks, there is a very small chance that there will be any progress dating-wise, no matter of other "things". Link to comment
looscroo Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Perhaps you are waiting too long to make a move on these guys. I know personally, once i'm friends with someone, i don't usually see them as anything more. May just be me. Have you ever tried approaching somebody who is not a friend? If so, do you get the same results? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I'm sorry Im not sure what you mean by the BOLDED text?? Could you please give an example? I mean, possibly coming accross as desperate (which chases men away instantly). Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I think attraction is comprised of many other things, besides just looks. Like...how you take care of yourself. Do you look clean and neat, a bit disheveled, or like you just got out of bed? How do you dress? Casual, goth, hippie, corporate, etc. How do you carry yourself? Is your overall demeanor confident, perky, upbeat, tentative, demure, etc.? Are you outgoing and touchy feely, or withdrawn and standoffish? Also, there's the way you move, your walk, hand gestures, eye and facial expressions, the way you hold your head, etc. Your voice and vocal inflections. Your word choice. Your laugh. The list goes on and on. Just think about it. Remember the last time you saw a hot guy, but the whole thing dissipated the second he opened his mouth? Ask yourself what part of the juice was missing... Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 I mean, possibly coming accross as desperate (which chases men away instantly). My guy friend at work thinks I sound desperate, but I dont think so. Its not like Im sitting here begging someone to be my bf or constantly questionning a dude about why he likes or does not like me! Not sure how else I'd be desperate. Its not like Im going to die if I don't have a bf right this minute however, it'd be nice if it would happen I'm just tried of waiting, and waiting and waiting](*,)! I go out, I socialize with people. I ain't shy. I have a lot of friends and a great personality and I like who I am inside and out so lack of confidence isn't it, so I have no clue why I can not find a decent man!!! Just irritates the heck out of me!! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 My guy friend at work thinks I sound desperate, but I dont think so. Well, if I could sense desperation via your written words on a message board and not even knowing you, then I think you should perhaps take note if a friend of yours, who knows you, is saying the same thing. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Share Posted August 22, 2009 Well, if I could sense desperation via your written words on a message board and not even knowing you, then I think you should perhaps take note if a friend of yours, who knows you, is saying the same thing. Hmm. How do you figure that I am desperate? I don't see it. I ain't begging anyone to be my bf. I aint going to die if I don't have one. When I do ask a guy if he likes me and if he says not like that I don't make a big deal of it, I just accept it cause I can't do anything about it. I don't consider any of that being desperate. Link to comment
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