easyguy Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Is it common for people in intimate relationships to start off as friends first? For those who started off as friends, did the intimacy last longer? Link to comment
Esteller Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Is it common for people in intimate relationships to start off as friends first? For those who started off as friends, did the intimacy last longer? i dont know if its common but thats how i started my relationship .. before i started dating her i told myself i didnt want to date anyone but i end up meeting her. at first we just been friends and we end up chilling all the time.. and over time i grew to falling for her and it just seem like it built a great foundation being friends at first.... so you know it wouldnt seem like your going into a relationship not knowing how someone is like. i greatly love thi woman now. so yea we are about to hit the one year mark. thats double time compare to trying it without being friends first. Link to comment
Dubb Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I think friends first can be good but it can also really hurt someone. It depends on the intentions when the friendship is first formed. Link to comment
tranquil Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 My worst relationships were the ones that started from friendship because then I already knew everything about him and we couldn't discover each other together. My current relationship started after only knowing him for 2 days, we've been together 1 year and about 7 months, and we're still going strong. Link to comment
greywolf Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 My worst relationships were the ones that started from friendship because then I already knew everything about him and we couldn't discover each other together. My current relationship started after only knowing him for 2 days, we've been together 1 year and about 7 months, and we're still going strong. That doesn't make it a better thing though. It could just possibly mean that you haven't noticed any red flags yet, while if you started off as friends first, you'd probably notice more of them. Link to comment
Samedy Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I went from friendships to relationship a few times, and those were probably the stronger relationships I've been in. In most cases we were able to remain friends after we broke up, which doesn't always happen when you start off as dating.... But, when you are friends first, you do know that there is some compatibility of personalities. At the same time, there are people who I've befriended and discovered that there is no way we would function as a couple. Link to comment
Knight of Hope Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I've always hoped that the friends first scenario would work out for me because I think it would make a stronger relationship in the long run. But my experience is that if you wait to make friends with a girl, she friend-zones you, and nothing ever happens because she doesn't ever see you as anything more than a friend after that. (Now, I know that this isn't true in ALL cases, and that lots of good relationships grow from friendships.) Or maybe I just have the most terrible luck with girls in the world... there have been plenty of female friends that I wanted to date, but they never wanted to date me. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I love the friends first thing... as long as we were actually friends and he didn't befriend me in hopes of getting in my pants later on, you know? had that happened and it's just deceitful. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Is it common for people in intimate relationships to start off as friends first? For those who started off as friends, did the intimacy last longer? I never had this happen but I think its very possible!! I never thought of my good guy friend before in that way and after I got to know him more and we hung out a few times I DID start to like him like that and before I never thought of him in that way. Unfortunately, he just thinks of me as a friend which stinks because he's a really good guy! Maybe someday down the line his feelings could change for me but Im not going to give my hopes up! Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 i dont know if its common but thats how i started my relationship .. before i started dating her i told myself i didnt want to date anyone but i end up meeting her. at first we just been friends and we end up chilling all the time.. and over time i grew to falling for her and it just seem like it built a great foundation being friends at first.... so you know it wouldnt seem like your going into a relationship not knowing how someone is like. i greatly love thi woman now. so yea we are about to hit the one year mark. thats double time compare to trying it without being friends first. I agree, I think being friends 1st builds a great foundation for a great LONG lasting relationship !!! Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I went from friendships to relationship a few times, and those were probably the stronger relationships I've been in. In most cases we were able to remain friends after we broke up, which doesn't always happen when you start off as dating.... But, when you are friends first, you do know that there is some compatibility of personalities. At the same time, there are people who I've befriended and discovered that there is no way we would function as a couple. Interesting you say that-the part I BOLDED! Im wondering maybe thats how my guy friends feel with me, since they tell me they only like me as a friend. Please explain how that can be tho??? I mean if your friends with them, know them, why wouldn't you be good as more then friends!?!? Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I've always hoped that the friends first scenario would work out for me because I think it would make a stronger relationship in the long run. But my experience is that if you wait to make friends with a girl, she friend-zones you, and nothing ever happens because she doesn't ever see you as anything more than a friend after that. (Now, I know that this isn't true in ALL cases, and that lots of good relationships grow from friendships.) Or maybe I just have the most terrible luck with girls in the world... there have been plenty of female friends that I wanted to date, but they never wanted to date me. I know how you feel! Thats exactly how I feel with some of my guy friends It sucks doesnt it?!?! They only like me as a friend too !! Link to comment
Samedy Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Interesting you say that-the part I BOLDED! Im wondering maybe thats how my guy friends feel with me, since they tell me they only like me as a friend. Please explain how that can be tho??? I mean if your friends with them, know them, why wouldn't you be good as more then friends!?!? There are some characteristics that are alright for friends to have, but I wouldn't want someone I'm seriously involved with have. For example, I have one friend who is incredibly bad with money. If there is a trinket that catches her eye, she doesn't think, she buys. As a result of this, she is in massive debt. As a friend, this doesn't bother me. I can tell her she is spending her money unwisely, but when she doesn't listen to me, it doesn't bother me. If we were in a relationship, this would bother me and I would consider it to be a red flag. I have another friend who parties and drinks a lot. With the drinking she has a wicked temper. As a friend I can avoid situations where she is going to get drunk, this is something that would be difficult to avoid in a relationship. There are other characteristics. Those are the first two that come to mind. I am sure there are female friends of mine who have reasons for not wanting a serious relationship with me. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Thank you so much for your insite, much appreciated! Very interesting, makes a lot of sense!! Maybe my guy friends notice something in me (what im not sure) and figures Im just better as a friend. I told my guy friend I like him and would date him and all but I wouldn't because I don't want to go out and then break up and never speak again, I value our friendship to much to lose it!!! Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 So it doesn't mean that those two examples you gave doesn't mean they're not dateable people, they're just not right for you?? Is that right?? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.