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what i realized when you walked out on me..


All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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i don't exactly feel great after coming out of a three year relationship but the break up showed me how wonderful life can be just being single again. sure i cried (a lot) over some silly things that eventually i'll get over and i did some things that i'm sure did nothing for my healing like breaking the NC code after 10 days and then breaking it again after 25 days. but i gotta tell you if it wasn't for ENA and the great people (well, not exactly met) here are contributing to my sanity i would have gone back with my pretentious ex and feeling miserable for myself because i know he doesn't want me back. anyway, a few weeks ago i was so frustrated because i had the worst day in my life, or so i thought, because of he-who-must-not-be-named (im a potter fan so please, don't mind me) broke my heart for some reasons i don't know. i thought i'd never be able to regain the confidence i had, the trust and everything but after coming back to ENA and reading all those things that people do to nice people, i felt a sense of belonging. i felt that there are millions out there though they don't know me knew exactly what im going through and giving other people some advises about healing made me feel like im talking to myself (in a good way)..anyway, here are the things i realized when you-know-who (well, you actually dont know) walked out on me.'

 

1. i am worthy of someone or something better than the life i have with him.

2. i am smart and i should use my brain to do better things than cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for him (that he never appreciates anyway)

3. i am a licensed nurse so i should use that magic card to make a good future for myself.

4. i am a good conversationalist so i should find a person who loves conversing and listening..

5. i have a great physique and i should not waste it with someone to don't care what he puts in his mouth.

6. he is not worth every tear and every second i will waste on him..in fact i shouldn't bother at all

7. he is not man enough for me.

8. he is a "mama's boy" (or so my dad says)so i should be with someone who is man enough to handle me and my truth

9. he is contented with a small life while i wanted to have an adventure

10. life is great just being with people who love me unconditionally and i should not disappoint them with the choices i make.

 

- well, i know that some of it sounds like sweet lemon and sour grape, but you know what i mean..

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