I think I've gone off the deep-end.. I can't even function.

[anbreeuh]

So, my SO and I broke up... it's ridiculous how non-sensical I've been these last 48 hours. I can't even think straight, that's how distracted my thoughts have been. I know where I went wrong, and I finally have seen the late, unfortunately it's too damn late. I don' tknow what to do, guys. I know I'm giong to get the- "It's his choice, you can't change his mind" But you don't understand. There are people here who can sympathize with me on this, or even just understand...well, you see, and do not laugh or take this in vain-- I truly, truly mean it. When you find "the one"--- YOU KNOW IT, and I'm damn sure I know. I messed up, I lied and said some things that were hurtful, but I feel entirely ruthless. I don't know what I wouldn't do to show him I understand and have done him no wrong besides what I stated. It's so unfair. The love I have for him is so deeply rooted, and so, so, so, so pure, but he can't/won't accept this. I don't want to do anything movie, drama, bubblegum like--because I have issues with that. I want a classy, yet effective way to get him back.. I feel like I could jump off the y-bridge and be okay with it, I'm such a sad, sad person. I want to be better to show him. I'm willing to wait no matter how long it takes. And I SINCERELY mean that. Days, weeks, months. I will wait. That is how much he means to me, and how determined I am to do this. I am trying to restrain from talking to him, but it's so hard. Do not tell me to "move on and get over it" because I'm stubborn as all heck, and it will only make me mad to hear that. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!!! If you've ever been in my situation and as desperate as I am, please help. WHAT CAN SOMEONE DO TO SHOW THIS AND NOT LOSE THE LOVE OF THEIR LIFETIME?!

 

I'm at my wits end... I feel like running to his apartment, I check my phone constantly to see if its him, I'm ready for an entire life upheaveal if it's necessary. Gah, help. Please?! He is my one and only...

[faithful14]

I think it would be best for the time to being to give you and him time to cool off and process everything that has happened. I know it's really hard to just sit back because you're so anxious and willing to do anything, but don't. Guys need their space and the more clingy and desperate you act, the more it will turn him off. So don't call him, text him, myspace, facebook, or AIM him. IT will BE HARD, but don't do it.

 

On a more personal note, is it okay to ask what exactly happened that caused you guys to break up? Maybe there is something in the story that we can work with to figure the situation out.

[anbreeuh]

I think it would be best for the time to being to give you and him time to cool off and process everything that has happened. I know it's really hard to just sit back because you're so anxious and willing to do anything, but don't. Guys need their space and the more clingy and desperate you act, the more it will turn him off. So don't call him, text him, myspace, facebook, or AIM him. IT will BE HARD, but don't do it.

 

On a more personal note, is it okay to ask what exactly happened that caused you guys to break up? Maybe there is something in the story that we can work with to figure the situation out.

 

I have a lying problem-- WHICH I AM GOING TO COUNSELING FOR. Once a week for an hour, the most I could get on such a short notice. I have not been unfaithful to him, even though he believes I have. I said something that was a complete and total lie for God knows what reason, and he took it to be true, which then spiraled into everything I've ever said having been a lie. And I will admit, I've done my fair share of lying, but nobody seems to udnerstand the love I feel for this man. It's outrageous. I would crawl on my hands and knees atop shards of glass if it meant his well being. There is not a thing in the world I wouldn't do. His happiness and well-being are my top priorities, though it doesn't alwas come accross that way. I also have a little bit of a lack of a social life for two reasons-1 being I constantly just want to spend my time with him, but he's busy a lot with work and friends and he likes to be alone sometimes which is understandable and 2-i just dont cultivate friendships well so i have 'acquaintances' but i'd mostly just rather stick to my family and SO, because people really aren't my forte, so I spend a lot of time online, and it's killing our relationship. I'm thinking of totally trashing my CP, that's how much I realize now that it's too late what I've been doing wrong and how easy It could've been to fix it. I'm so upset.

[anbreeuh]

And this is only adding to the stress, it's now 3 AM, and for the second night in a row, I still am not asleep....sigh. I just want my baby back in my life..

I made him a mixtape I want to give him. It's that bad. The first track... "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. Somebody help

[faithful14]

ok. so first off, good job for going to counseling because most people wouldn't do it. So you're onto a good start. The social scene, it's fine that your not a big people person, some people are just like that and there is nothing wrong. It would be really helpful I think for yourself though, to find other things to do to keep busy. Our boyfriends personalities are the same...they like to spend time with their friends, work, and they enjoy their alone time. I also, like to spend most of my time with him. Over time though, I realized that spending a whole lot of time together isn't always such a good thing because both people need to have their own separate lives and do things on their own so they continue to grow and develop into their own. And also, so both people don't get sick of each other.

 

The fact that you realize the things you can do to improve is really great. It's important for a little while to focus on yourself and improve as much as you can. In the meantime, let him be on his own. Let him see what life will be like without you. You can continue working on yourself and start building a life for yourself. Do things that make you happy. Fill up your time with watching movies, spending time with the family or cousins, go to the gym, hang out with some friends and try to develop a friendship. Keep yourself busy so you don't think about him too much. It will seem impossible, but you can do it.

 

I will leave you with this: when my bf and I got back together, he said he really appreciated the space I gave him. Because of that space, he only started to remember the good things of the relationship and when he never heard from me, it made things harder for him. And I know about 50 other people who can say that some time apart, made them realize how much they wanted to get back together with their SO.

 

Give yourself room to grow and in time, your ex will see that. If he sees how different you are, happy and positive, it will intrigue him and make him curious about you. I think you can get him back but first you got to take care of yourself.

[withoutanet]

I know exactly how you feel, sometimes it hurt so bad that I can't even function at work. This time for you is the roughest,hardest thing you have to go through. It does get a little better although you have to be prepared that one day you'll be fine and the next you find yourself devestated again.

 

I know I love my ex girlfriend with all my heart and I would drop everything and run back to her if she would only say those magic words.

 

However, like yourself, it's really out of our hands. If they know how you feel about it, all you can to is give them time. I know it's hard and it sucks but it's the only thing you can do.

 

In the meantime, focus on your counseling, hang out with your friends and don't be afraid to freak out once in a while. This time is not supposed to be fun, your heart has been broken so it needs time to heal.

 

Hope this helps.

[anbreeuh]

I feel ya'. There's nothing I wouldn't do. I called off work tonight because being there seeing all the couples (I work at a race track- mostly couples or loner old men) really drove me up the wall last night. I headed straight for my car, and just bawled. It's so hard....

[Idlewood]

I wish my ex-gf loved me as much as you love him.

 

I think time will be a healer here, you said you're willing to wait as long as it takes so that's good. It's gonna be tough though. The pain never truly goes away until you've either got them back or moved on, so be prepared for alot of down time!

 

Music has been great for me. I find that loud music with earphones helps drown out all my thoughts. (Although it's probably killing my ears in the long run).

 

I wish I knew a quick-fix but if I did I would have my gf back, so if you find one let me know.

[anbreeuh]

I just had the biggest relapse. He texted me to tell me his mom got this car that she has been wanting, and that I like, too, and we started talking, and it's been texting on and off for the past two hours. It finally hit me he's not coming back, it's a lost cause, and now I just want to curl up in a ball and literally die. I feel so low. Thanks for everything anyway, guys. I think I'm giong on a holiday.

[anbreeuh]

I told him I couldn't take anymore, that my heart was broken, and not to speak to me anymor eand he said "k whatever" "whatever" I'm so riled up over this. Why doesn't he want to come back?! He always comes back. This is so ridiculous. I'm ranting and raving and I can't even control myself. This is so stupid. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone or anything, and I don't see why this is happening. Gahhhhhhhhhh. I hate myself. Truly.

[Idlewood]

Do you think he still loves you... or still has romantic feelings? If you genuinely do then you need to work hard to get him back. Prove to him that you're getting over your lying-ways by attending these council sessions.

[SpeedingCars]

I think right NOW is not a good time to try to win him back. Please keep up with the counseling to help with your "lying" issues. Otherwise... what's the point of trying to get him back if you haven't changed?

 

He has to see a positive alteration in you before he'd consider re-entering the relationship.

 

Go NC and please, please take care of yourself. I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE. I still am!....I feel FRANTIC and sometimes I think I'm literally going crazy.

 

But the thing is, you can't force feelings... and you can't make someone be with you. A "classy" way to get him back would be to change yourself for the better & hope that he comes around. Let him witness these changes. Do not shove them in his face or anything.

 

Do not hate yourself... you don't need any hatred in your life at this point in time, esp. when you're so vulnerable.

[MCR7]

"But the thing is, you can't force feelings... and you can't make someone be with you. A "classy" way to get him back would be to change yourself for the better & hope that he comes around. Let him witness these changes. Do not shove them in his face or anything.

 

Do not hate yourself... you don't need any hatred in your life at this point in time, esp. when you're so vulnerable."

 

 

---EXACTLY. Very well said. Does it make sense to you? You're such a sweet pea.

 

I hope it makes some sense and you can feel grounded. I will say prayers.