2 weeks NC and now a text message

[piticu]

Short version: broke up a month and a half ago, she had to choose between ex and me (they split because he cheated, he kept on chasing her even when we were together). I was the rebound for her, didn't realise at the time and fell really bad for her. She had feelings for me as well apparently. She said she needs time and space and I tried to get out of the picture. Only during the last 2 weeks I was able to maintain complete NC.

 

Now I got a text message: "I had a dream about you. You were in T (her home town). R is here too." R is a puppet I gave her as a gift when we split, since she loved it. I told her that his job now is to take care of her. (Cheesy, I know

 

Why is she doing this? To keep me on a string? She used to contact me for trivial stuff until I told her to stop it unless she wants to give us a chance.

 

Any ideas? Should I answer? If yes, what?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Do not answer it. If she cheated on her ex and then used you as a rebound, then this woman is a seasoned liar. Do not trust her. She hasn't said let's get back together. She just wants more drama and men chasing after her..it feeds her ego. Keep away.

[mmike]

Did you do any asking to continue when she first showed signs of wanting distance from you? If so, for how long (2 weeks?) and how did you finally become resolute in your NC with her? Did she offer friendship? Did she pull away from you first?

 

That is a good sign if you have a goal of continuing with her. She is probably looking for positive emotional triggers from her interaction with you to help her make a decision to make the step toward you. Sounds like you replied just fine.

[piticu]

Oy, sorry, he cheated on her, I spelled wrong.

[piticu]

After we broke up and after I told her to leave me alone if she has no intentions of giving us a chance she sent me a message after 2 weeks inviting me for a ride on the skates. I went, it was fun, we kept the conversation light, to neutral topics. Then 2 days later she sent me another sms which i answered (see my previous topic) and then on saturday she sent me an email quoting a song she "wanted to share with me". I answered that email as well. Ever since that saturday (a bit over 2 weeks) I was in NC and she did not contact me at all until today.

 

To reiterate again: her ex cheated on her, not the other way around. She is strongly against cheating and so am I.

[amipushy]

There is no "I'm sorry I made a mistake I realise now that its you I want", its all just BS stuff to keep you as the fall back guy. She may even feel sorry for you and is trying to put a little light back in your life.... Ahhhh (Ugh)

[bronte]

I think she's missing you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she'll come back. I'm sure she's feeling a little insecure in the "new" relationship with her ex, since she remembers that he cheated on her, and is probably wondering whether she made a good decision. If she's aware that she essentially used you as a rebound, she may also be feeling guilty about that...In other words, I doubt she's thinking clearly right now. I would ignore the contact.

[D_Lish]

^^ I agree.

 

Her relationship with the other guy likely aint going all that well, hence her keeping in touch. She has you to fall back on and if it doesnt work with him.

[piticu]

Honestly I don't believe they got back together. When she asked for time and space she told me that she plans to be single for a while.

 

However, I am quite sure they spent some time together, as they are from the same town.

 

But I guess you are right, she is just testing the waters, to see if I am here to catch her.

I'll keep NC, even if my fingers itch to send a response back.