"cold, wet, dying, dead"

[tainted_soul]

freezing in the buckshot

lying in the backyard

grass moves like dead mannequins

and it's dirty and wet and cold

looking through the freezing glass door

she's bleeding through the carpet

lying on the floor

something has

all of you/ i'm lost in here

standing in the freezing

in the grass

and the mud is cold like ice

blood drips from the buckshot

i'm dying out here

since when couldn't i walk

something has

[just_smile]

hey

wow i really liked your poem, it was something different from the usual types of poetry your see. i thought it was excellent.

 

keep writing.

~LJ =;

[avman]

VERY powerful and interesting imagery.

[EmptySoul]

wow. as someone who writes poetry, i love to see something different, and that definitly was. just great.

EmptySoul

[tainted_soul]

thanks for the good comments

[emotionally_twisted]

strangely enough i liked this poem. I am really getting into poetry myslef and i though this was really good.Its somethign you don't hear often and it needs to be from the heart which you totally accomplished. To sum it up, it was very good, thanks for letting us hear it.

[DaManiac]

... scary... simple...

but...

superb!