Either he lies to her or he lies to me

[snuupi]

if you wanna know, what this is all about, have look at my last thread:

 

 

well i stalked him two days ago after 4 weeks again... and now on one of those internet portals it says "in a relationship" and his new girlfriend is marked everywhere on his profile... among other things it is said that she stands 1.80 metres tall...

i found her on something like facebook and... she is everything that he told me he doesn't like: tall, short hair, curls, almost no breast, etc.

the exact opposite of me... i am standing 1.62 metres, long hair, no curls but natural waves, i won't say anything to the breast-thing ..

 

today i showed another profile of his to a friend of mine and saw that he had deleted my last guestbook entry, which was an answer to his entry that his hamster had died (but this was early in april)...

 

it's funny to see, that he tries to delete everything that's gotta do with me and that his new girlfriend could find, but behind her back tells me that nobody knows him the way i do and nobody knows his crazy side like i do even no female person and i know him best and all those things again and again, questions me about a allegedly new guy in my life and if i care about him having another girl... telling me that he was glad to hear from me and that he also thinks it's a pity that we don't have any contact....

 

if i was his girlfriend, i'd be jealous seeing him texting with his ex about such things...

 

either he tries to make a fool of ME or he lies to his new girlfriend by saying "no i don't have any contact to her... that's my ex! she annoys me, she always tries to get in touch with me" and so on...

that would be funny, as this would mean, that he can't be honest with her even from the beginning of the relationship...

 

and that's what i noticed with satisfaction, as he has always been the one who contacted me.

 

remember how fast he got in touch with me after my 'i think it's a pity that we don't have any contact, if you want to, you can call me the next days - if you don't want to, then dont.'-mail ?? one day later there was someone who contacted me via icq... ahhh yes .. it was my ex!

and if he was kidding me, he wouldn't have contacted me so fast...

 

 

damn it's so good to get this satisfaction...

 

haha, he's lying to his 1.80m girlfriend!

 

 

do you agree with my opinion or think i'm just getting weird ideas?

[savignon]

Are you really feeling a sense of satisfaction in spending all of your energy analzying him and his relationship and "stalking" him?

He's contacting you.....so what? He's dating her, with her, spending time with her, etc. An email here or there to you doesn't give you the upper hand.

It sounds like you are jealous bitter and angry. You don't have to tear up her height or looks to get "satisfaction"....live your own happy life and get satisfaction from that.

[Cognitive_Canine]

You are putting way too much energy into this boy.

[nutbrownhare]

You are just as involved with him now, in terms of stalking him and obsessing about him, as you would be in any relationship. Except that you gain nothing in terms of love, affection or togetherness. In fact, being so preoccupied with him will pretty well guarantee that you WON'T get to have a relationship which would be more rewarding.

 

You owe it to yourself to forget about him and use your energy in productive ways which might actually make your life better! So what if you'd feel jealous if you were his girlfriend? You're not, and trying to find fault with her in other ways will not do you any good. Nor will laughing at what you see as her misfortunes - both of these will increase your own bitterness and pain in the long run.

 

Remember, we don't get more in life by wishing others less.

[snuupi]

i was just bored.. it's not that i am stalking him all the time... it was the first time for about 4 weeks that i typed his name into my computer and 4 weeks ago i was just having a look, if he had been online after we had had that mysterious communication about if i had a new boyfriend.. i haven't been watching his profile for about 2 or 3 months but you act like i was looking at it at least 5 times a day... that's not true..

 

of course i am a bit jealous but do i want somebody back who lies to his girlfriend? can i be sure that he didn't lie to me when we were together?

of course there's a bit schadenfreude inside of me.. but isn't that normal??

 

on the one hand i get angry about him telling other girls stupid stuff and doing the opposite but on the other hand, yes, i am happy about it.

 

you know, i live my life and i have fun it was just stupid 5 minutes that i wasted on having a look at his profile and asking myself who he is kidding. his girlfriend or me.

of course i am not listing up everything that i am doing the whole day that hasn't got to do anything with him. but it's the ex-forum and not the what-i-do-when-i-don't-think-about-my-ex-forum, isn't it? if there's any news about him i am posting it.. and now there is.

 

 

thanks for your answers anyway

[savignon]

if there's any news about him i am posting it

What makes you still interested in the happenings of his life? Or if his new girlfriend is short or has curly hair or boobs?

It sounds like it gives you satisfaction that he's still talking to you which makes sense in and of itself if you still like him and are interested in him.

[snuupi]

i care about those things, because there are still feelings for him..

they aren't as strong as they were right after the break up, but they are still there...

 

it's weird, on the one hand i don't care about what he's doing, but if it's about him contacting me and asking questions, telling me stupid things, i get more interested...in principle i really don't care about his actions or girlfriend.. perhaps it's boredom... i don't know... when i've got something to do i don't think about him...but then i come back home and begin to think about the last time we had contact .. think about why he did, what he did etc.

it's strange, cause i'm not able to say what this is about...

[savignon]

Do you ever call him out on how he's kind of keeping ties with you and then deleting it so to speak?

[snuupi]

You mean if we have ever talked about why he kept on contacting me to eliminate my weird thoughts and know what exactly he wants from me?

 

sorry, i don't get it..

 

if it's that what you mean: no i didn't... i was afraid, because i thought i couldn't stand talking to him - doesn't matter if via icq or on the phone... - and perhaps get needy and so on...

when i COULD stand - now for about 1 or 2 months - i didn't want to, because i thought he wouldn't contact me anyway... but he did... i just answered shortly to what he had asked and went on with my life...

but then he didn't ask just one question but started a communication... for the first time after 3 months... i was surprised and thought - oh yeah, why not.

and it got me out of control, answering his questions seriously, even those about a new guy in my life...

on my vacation i got more distance, even if i was nearer to the village he lives in... got back home, had a mail by him... answered and wrote - for the first time since end of may - more than just "yes" or "i know" ... one day later he contacted me, because i had asked him to get in touch with me, if he wants to. he did. it was his decision.. i didn't even expect that he would write back.... i thought he would ignore it.

 

if i got it wrong, i'm sorry

 

 

EDIT: ahhh now i got it! no i didn't ask him why he acts like this... don't know... as i said there was no real chance to do, as i didn't want to talk to him, since i wanted to get over him/get solid enough to accept an answer like "i don't want any contact to you" or something like this...