The Odds Are Against Us...

[SandDollar]

Why are the best things always so inconvenient?

 

I start with this question because of the situation I am in... I have been seeing this man for about six weeks now, and it is the best relationship I have ever been in. We speak so openly and easily about anything and everything- sex, religion, philosophy, art, music, hobbies, growing up, stupid things like old cartoons and funny movies. We have a blast just being around one another- bantering witty comments or saying nothing at all. It is a connection I have never experienced before. It isn't just sexual attraction, it isn't just good conversation. It's the full deal. It feels almost perfect.... But, there has to be a catch. Or two. Or three. Or four.

 

I said "seeing" initially because nothing has been made official. There are so many things preventing a real relationship.

 

Let's Begin: 1) There is a major age difference. I am only 18, and he is 29. This does not bug either of us, or hinder any ability to connect. I have always dated older men, and he has an incredibly youthful zeal and way of thinking... He does, however, have a four year old child with an ex-wife. Hence, some baggage. It is a fresh divore, only having taken place about 1.5 years ago. He still seems shaken by his situation at times- something I will never hold against him. But I can tell it makes him timid in wanting a relationship. Especially when he would be introducing an 18 year old girl to his 28 year old ex...

2) We work together. Some coworkers have mentioned that there is noticeable chemistry between us. While it's no big deal to those surrounding us, and our work ethics are never compromised by our attraction, I have a feeling our boss wouldn't be too keen on having one of his employee's "pens in company's ink."

 

I suppose when in text, it doesn't seem like a whole lot is stopping this connection from blossoming. But, in retrospect, both points are such large factors of everyday life- children, work... We both want to make it work with one another. I guess it just feels like the hurdles are seemingly impossilbe to avoid...

 

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for. Or what I really want to hear, even.... Any input would be so much appreciated, though. I have thought so much about this that my mind is now blank.

 

Also, I apologize for the length....

[waveseer]

Stay positive and you will have the best outcome you could have.

[Kumatora]

Be careful with dating a man who has had a divorce and a kid on the side. You've mentioned that he is trying to recover from it, so it will affect your relationship. If you date this man, his ex-wife will always be in the picture as long as the kid is around. If him and his ex get along and have mutual feelings about the divorce, then you have nothing to worry about. However, that rarely happens with younger couples. This is why a LOT of young bachelors/bachelorettes stay far away from people who have been through a divorce, because they could not handle the baggage of an ex being in the picture.

 

Also, make sure that your love interest does not interfere with your job. A lot of jobs do not like conflict of interest and may try separating you both if you guys are... "distracted." Depends on the job.