help with g/f mum dying

[Matty]

Hi, I need advice on how to handle and cope with my girlfriend who's mum died about 3 weeks ago. Im finding it very difficult to cope with her and how shes been. Understandably she up and down, moods keep changing and in some ways I receive the brunt of all her emotions. I find it difficult to not take it all personally. I dont know if this is jsut a reaction to what has happeneded or whether she really does mean what she says. Like the other day she asked "do I really she a future in us". It was asked as if she'd thought about it and thought herself there was no future. I asked her if that was the case and she said that she hadnt really thought about it as she had more pressing things on her mind. Part of me thinks that im being used to get her through this all as a support and then one day she;; turn around and say that she doesnt want us to be together but thanks for being there when I needed you.

 

How does one cope with all of the emotion she has. How do you handle things. From a realtionship point of view how do i treat her. Do things get better ???????????Its very difficult to be in the relationship at the moment and I dont know what to do

[missluvly1037]

Be patient, she will of course have these moods, but it dosent mean she means everything that she says, if she happens to say something that you find really hurtfull talk to her about it, dont get in face and yell and scream about what she said and dont have that "how dare she" attuitde, be clam explain that you are hurt...if she dosent listen then let it go, she is going trough a really tough time and wants comfort and maybe just wants to be alone for a while, but sooner or later she will accepet her mothers pass and know that her mother is in a better place and will be the same as she was before her mother died, but until then just tell her you love her and tell her that every one cares for her and you will always be there for her. buy her roses and choclates or soemthing nice like that, hang in there!

hope i helped....

[SwingFox]

Hi Matty,

 

I have another idea for you. I think missluvly said things pretty good. My addition is that it might be a good idea to spend some time with her in a different environment. I am not sure as of where you are from, but my idea is: take her to the beach or any other unsuspected area to blow off some steam. Talk to her and ask her how she really feels. Tell her that you feel hurt by a few things that she said and then ask her how you could really help her.

 

I hope this works for you. I wish you good luck and strength to pull this through.

 

~ SwingFox ~