Caught him in a bit of a lie

[bebeblondie]

I've been seeing this guy for a bit over 5 weeks. Haven't seen him in the past two weeks because I was away on vacation for a week, but am supposed to see him tonight. Anyway we've been texting back and forth, I've had a cold this past week and he is aware of that. Friday we spoke through text and he said he couldn't wait until Monday cause that was his day off ( he gets different days off every week). So Sat night we spoke again and I asked him if he wanted to get together Sun or Mon, he said possibly Sunday but if not definitely Monday. Last night he texts me telling me everything he did yesterday, which meant that he was off yesterday (I confirmed that in a later text) and saying we'll get together tomorrow night (meaning tonight). Anyway, the bottom line is he lied to me, he told me Monday was his day off but it was actually Sunday and Monday. I don't want to make a big deal out of this but one thing I can't stomach is when I'm lied to, and I feel like I need to address this, any ideas on how?

[metrogirl]

I don't see what the big deal is.

[bebeblondie]

It was a lie of omission really - which doesn't make it much better for your stomach. Maybe he meant monday was his day off - as in the day he has totally free. Sunday was off work but it was already booked up with things to do. Remember you guys have only known each other a little over a month, everyone has different ways of explaining things.

 

I'd put this behind you lest it ruin things. Remember, early days still.

 

I agree it's still too early, that's why I haven't called him out on it yet. But it still bothers me.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I think you're overreacting. Was he obligated to tell you every day he has off? He didn't lie to you. Monday is his day off. Sunday also was. You two have only been together for five weeks. I recommend you calm down and just clear it up with him, but do NOT accuse him of lying. He didn't lie.

[iLiveWithMyMom]

I agree with fish. You guys have only been together a little over month, and two of those weeks you didn't even see each other, so I think giving him a little space might be best. No offense, but I don't think you guys are at a point where he has to account for every day he's not with you. Maybe if you were married. lol.

[bebeblondie]

I think you're overreacting. Was he obligated to tell you every day he has off? He didn't lie to you. Monday is his day off. Sunday also was. You two have only been together for five weeks. I recommend you calm down and just clear it up with him, but do NOT accuse him of lying. He didn't lie.

 

I agree, he's not obligated to tell me anything. But to tell me you can't wait until Monday cause that's your day off, when in actuality Sunday is your first day off, I think that is being a bit shady, which to me is a red flag.

 

How do you suggest I clear it up with him (I don't want to accuse him of lying)?

[ghost69]

he had a day off and didn't want to spend it with you or didn't tell you? maybe he already had plans with friends or something on sunday and that's why he told you maybe. he kept monday (today) open for you though.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I agree, he's not obligated to tell me anything. But to tell me you can't wait until Monday cause that's your day off, when in actuality Sunday is your first day off, I think that is being a bit shady, which to me is a red flag.

 

How do you suggest I clear it up with him (I don't want to accuse him of lying)?

 

Perhaps what he meant was that he can't wait until Monday because that's when he can see you? There are many reasons he might have chosen to say that.

 

Have you and he agreed to see each other exclusively at this time?

 

If you still believe that that was shady, then I think it's best to watch and wait. Watch his actions and see if anything else is shady. This will give you an idea of his character better than anything else.

 

If I were him and you brought this up to me, I would think you are nitpicking and controlling and that would be a red flag for me.

 

I just cannot think of any way to tactfully bring up the issue that you want to discuss. I can't think of any words that will not sound controlling and nitpicking.

[bebeblondie]

Perhaps what he meant was that he can't wait until Monday because that's when he can see you? There are many reasons he might have chosen to say that.

 

Have you and he agreed to see each other exclusively at this time?

 

If you still believe that that was shady, then I think it's best to watch and wait. Watch his actions and see if anything else is shady. This will give you an idea of his character better than anything else.

 

If I were him and you brought this up to me, I would think you are nitpicking and controlling and that would be a red flag for me.

 

I just cannot think of any way to tactfully bring up the issue that you want to discuss. I can't think of any words that will not sound controlling and nitpicking.

 

 

We haven't discussed exclusivity at this point.

 

I think I'll have to let this go. If he does something like this again I'll bring it up.

[agent1607307371]

Sat night we spoke again and I asked him if he wanted to get together Sun or Mon, he said possibly Sunday but if not definitely Monday.

 

Lie of omission. I know if I have a monday off then it is my day off, I wouldn't think that anyone would assume I was working a sunday because of it though.

[strategos]

We haven't discussed exclusivity at this point.

 

I think I'll have to let this go. If he does something like this again I'll bring it up.

 

No need to worry about this. You're not going to be discussing anything related to exclusivity because it's too soon to do...anything.

 

Even if he did "lie" to you, what difference does it make? Unless he went out with some women you shouldn't have to be worried. He even made alternate plans, so he still wants to see you.

 

There is nothing to worry about. If he does this again (like three or four times) then you should be worried and bring it up.