A pain I never felt before.....help

[bjnicole05]

Me and my girlfriend were fighting a lot, you see she is a bartender and just got promoted to the bar manager. So she started working open to close everyday, and it started to wear on me....I missed her, and thats what we fought about that among the fact that she wanted to "set an example" and didnt want me to go up to the bar, or if I did she didnt talk to me much. And to that I understand because she is working...but it still hurt, and trying to talk to her about it was like shoving bamboo sticks under your fingernails. She started to become very distant....now... when she wasnt working which was on Sundays her and I got along so well, very loving, going on dates, the passion between us was amazing. But the other 6 days, she was a totally different person, mind set souly on that Bar....while Im left at home, missing her.

Well the day of our 9 month anniversary I get a text message saying "Well I've got some bad news for ya, Im going to stay at Kathy's house tonight, so that I can get as much sleep as possible I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow." so I didnt argue I thought she just needed her space. Huh...funny thing about space though is that all I had of her was on Sundays. But anyway...I sat at home crying, I had already written her a letter telling her that I was going to stop texting her and calling while she was at work, that I just wanted her when I could have her. I didnt want the stress from home to make stress at work worse for her. But little did I know it was too late. She didnt come home the following night either, she stayed at her moms. So the next day around 6 PM, I get a call from her saying that we need to talk. She told me that she had already put a deposit down on an apartment and would have her things out the next day. I didnt know what to do, I couldnt afford our house without her, and there were too many memories for me to stay. I lost everything, I gave her everything that we worked for in our relationship....the furniture, a cell phone in my name, my life, everything. I had no where to go and she was all set. I wonder to this day why she had to be so selfish and not give me the chance to figure out what I can do before she left me homless... She was cold during the whole thing. I even had to ask her to take MY dog (I had him before I met her) because I have nowhere to put him.

She started ignoring my calls, and instead of coming to get the rest of her things, paying the landlord like she promised, and my puppy that was at the house all alone all day because she told me she was going to pick him up. She went to the river the owner of the bar that she works at. He answered her phone, and told me that she was in the boat and he'd have her call back. When she called back she was horribly cold again....I wound up taking my puppy with me again for her to pick up today. But this morning at 3 AM the owner of the bar called me saying that they are at a bar getting drunk......He asked all B.S. aside what happened between her and I (bear in mind we have only been apart for 4 days up to now) so I gave him a quick run down. He asked me if she was messing with someone else, I told him that I didnt know. He then pressed onto "so Ive been with her for 3 days can I F**k her", I asked him to please not do that to me, "He said come on just let me F**k her!,atleast Im being repectful and asking! come on let me F**k her!" I again said " Ricky please God dont do that to me......." He said that we should all hook up and he was going to talk to her, and hung up before I could say eat S**T. I tried to call her and tell her that I was hurting enough and that only made it worse, it was so rude, you have no idea how bad it hurt....just the thought of someone else being with her makes me sick to my stomach.

Losing everything in one fatal swoop is the hardest thing that Ive ever been through, I loved her more then anything in this world....and now she's making me hate her....I dont want to hate her, I wanted her back.....Now I dont know what I want.

I tried doing some really stupid things to myself.....and I keep having these feelings of rage,and sorrow that Im afraid Im either going to hurt myself or hurt someone else.... Help me...I need some advice

I feel so empty, and alone....I havent eaten in a week, I can bearly sleep, all I can bring myself to do is drink.

[samantha20]

I'm so sorry, I know exactly what you're going through, the same thing happened to me last year. I was with my girlfriend for three years, she was my life and we were so close and then she dumped me for a guy. I had to leave the flat that we shared and stand back whilst she moved this guy in, it was the most painful thing I've ever been through. She also turned really cold on me and hardley spoke to me and when she did she sounded really formal and cold. It hurts a lot, I know how you feel and I also stopped eating when it happened to me.

 

It is a year now since we broke up and all I can say is that time does heal. You feel like you will never get over it but you will. I think despite everything I will always miss my ex but it's just a mild sadness more than an excrtiating pain like it used to be. You will find someone else and every day you will think about her less and less. If you want to talk to me anytime pm me and I will give you my msn or something x

[amure]

oh my god!

she just left you with the rent to pay all by herself, and didn't even give you a heads up to get yourself sorted?!

 

thats the most selfish thing ive ever heard.

i hope it all works out with the puppy too

and screw that jerk at the bar.

pm me if you want mate

[bjnicole05]

Samantha,Thank you for understanding my pain....So you two never got back together? You know what hurts more?....I know that despite it all, and how much she hurt me, and the way she left....I think I would get back to her if she wanted it....I dont want her to know that she can have me when she wants me, because me knowing hurts enough.

[bjnicole05]

oh my god!

she just left you with the rent to pay all by herself, and didn't even give you a heads up to get yourself sorted?!

 

thats the most selfish thing ive ever heard.

i hope it all works out with the puppy too

and screw that jerk at the bar.

pm me if you want mate

 

 

Amure, yeah she has been pretty selfish the last few months.....I just delt with it because I love her, I figured If I can love her at her worst...then we will be perfect at her best.Im not saying I was a perfect girfriend...but all I did was love her too much and wanted to show her that I needed her too.