Cant Leave Her

[peteo]

I read all the web sites, ebooks, newgroups etc.. for the past 6 months and I cant seem to get over my EX. Here's the story.

 

We were together for 2 years, the 1st year was great, then it slowly went downhill, about a month after our 1st year together she tells me she doesn't know if its going to work out. So I pleaded with her, and she thought about it and said she loved me and wanted to stay with me.

 

The next few months were great then the relationship started to go downhill again. Less and less sex, more fights etc... until finally she sat me down and told me Im not the "one" ugh

I asked her to give me time, and she basically said yes. She would countinue call me every day and I would still see her almost every day. We would cuttle and kiss but no sex.

This has been going on for the past 4 months. The last month I've been getting frustrated with the situation and we were getting in bigger fights, with her telling me she already told me she doesn't want to be with me, even thought she still calls me every day and I see her all the time. I left and didn't call for a few days.

Then called her back, and she was acting so nice to me. Asking me to go out with her and her friends (hasn't asked that for about a year) calling me, cooking, just being real nice. Last week we got in a big fight, I asked if we could do some "stuff" and she said "NO" so I left. I called her a few days later and went over there. When I tried to do some "stuff" again with her she said NO. She said she already told me how she feals. I asked her if that's the case then why the HEll do you keep calling me. She was like you don't want me to call? I said your actions do not match what you are saying. So she said Fine I will not call you again and reiterated that she did not want to be with me.

ack, that hurt, I ended up sleeping on her bed with my clothes on because I didn't want it to be over. The next morning she went to kiss me, like she does when I crash there and she stopped and said I don't want to give you the wrong impression. She ended up kissing me anyways.

 

The next few days I didn't call her, and she didn't call me. I'd been going out trying to get over her.

As luck would have it I bumped into her the other day and I suggested we have dinner. ugh, I broke down, called her and went over there for dinner. I ended up cuttling her as we watched tv, and for a while while she was going to sleep. Kissed her on the lips and forehead when I left.

I cant Get Over her. I want her More than EVER NOW (thought I do have a date tomorrow )

I cry when ever I think about it because I know its over but I don't want it to be. The hard part is she has been a Part of my Life every day for the past 2 1/2 years!! I love when she calls me, I love going over there. I know she likes calling me, and that she likes me over, but I want more from her than she will give me.

ARRRGGGGG

[Mines a black coffee]

Peteo, I was in a similar situation, and can relate. Basically, I was with my girlfriend for just over a year, and the final few months, when I look back on them, were a joke. She would go out with her friends and not me, flirt with others, yet always when I told her i'd had enough (or after she dumped me), she would come crawling back. Yes, I was dumped about six times in the space of the year. Enough about me though, this is not about me, it's about you.

The advice I have to offer is this. Let go. I know you are mostl likely thinking "it's easy for him to say", and to be honest I don't blame you, I was the same, but you must let go. She is taking you for a ride, she does not know that she is hurting you becasue you have been together for so long she believes you will be there no matter what. You have to tell her you are your own person, that you will not be run by her.

Now, this will either end in two ways 1/ She will accept your decision and leave you (which, though harse, is perhaps what you need), or 2/ She will realise what an idiot she has been and come back and appreciate you for what you are.

I'm sorry if my advice seems a little odd, however It is the best I can do. I am trying to help becasue you are in a similar situation and I could not help myself, so I can try to at least redeem something for humanities sake! I was an idiot, I threw insults (think about the lyrics to Eamon's 'I don't want you back' and we're getting there) and didn't get out when I should have. I was a mug and took her back when I shouldn't have, please don't do the same.

All the best, it does get easier.

[SLBG]

Hi peteo,

 

I no exactly how you feel, I was with my fiancee 5 year and now she has gone.

 

I dont no if we will ever get back together and that hurts real bad. I find myself thinking about her all the time. When I think of all of the things we did together it hurts so much.

 

Its like somebody is cutting my heart open, I feel so empty inside.

 

Even the smallest memory can make me cry, I try to keep myself together but often this is not the case.

 

I feel like I am living my worst nigthmare over and over again. Nothin I do takes the pain away. However hard I try to keep my mind off of things the memories still haunt me.

 

Its got to the point where I cannot sleep, cannot eat and my body is shutting down.

 

When I lay in bed at night and close my eyes all I can see is my ex, I dont want to think about her, nor remember all the good times but I seem to have no choice.

 

I no its tough, I am living it. You need to stay strong, maybe one day she will return.

 

Sorry I havent been much help to you, you could say that Its just one of those really bad days.

 

Dont ever stop loving your ex, but if she does return remember how you felt without her and show her she is the most important person in the world.

 

slbg

[peteo]

Hey guys thanks for the advice.

 

Not sure if I was really clear in my post.

 

She broke up with me and doesnt want any thing to do with me, but for some reason still lets me hang around. I know I should not hang around with her,but I cant help it. After our last fight she said she will not call me anymore because I told her it was sending me mix signals (she used to call me every day, even though we have been broken up for 4 months!!), but when I am not doing anything I find my self misssing her and calling her up and asking to come over. 99% of the time she says ok and we have a good time just relaxing and I end up holding her which she does not stop. (she probably loves the attention) I feel like shit when I leave because I want to be with her, but she doesnt. arg!!! I hate that she doesnt call me any more and I know if I dont call her I will never hear from her again.

I feal so connected to her, and we both are so comfortable when we are together. I just wish I could stop

 

I have a date tonight so I hope that will help