Brokenheart00 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I don't want to think about him nor have any connection with him. He is gone forever and I must accept that. No hope. No nothing. I am 19. There is a guy for me out there somewhere. But the first step is to 1) Accept. I will keep on updating on here. I will go on to the next step after I accept it. Link to comment
Brokenheart00 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Share Posted July 19, 2009 1) Stop checking on him. Link to comment
spook Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 You're right. Remove all traces of him. Facebook, MySpace, all emails, phone numbers, text messages. You must do it. Link to comment
winchester3 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Is that really the best advice? I feel i got that treatment from my X, i'm pretty much over it now and i wouldnt mind being friends. She wont give me the time of day. Bah! I mean i like to keep my options open instead of limiting my self. For the first while though its not usually the best idea to still be remain chums. I didnt have to delete/destroy everything all it takes is self restraint. Just busy your mind with somthing else for the time being. Link to comment
miss_officer Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 i know that it is hard after a break up especially if you really loved someone... But i argee i think that you need to erase all traces of him, get rid of pictures, letters anything that reminds you of him... that will be hard but you need to be content with who you are and you need to figure out what you want in life and be happy with who you are and where you are... while you are doin that you will be so busy focusing on yourself that you will not even have time to think about him if he doesnt want to be with you, that is his loss you can do a lot better than him... i am 20 years old so i can relate to you... when you stop looking for love and stop trying to make love work, love will just come to you and you will be blinded from the start... that is why they call it falling because you dont mean to it just happens... Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Brokenheart! Remember me? Anyways... Yes, you have to erase every trace about your ex out of your life. Trust me, it really helps. Who wants to be constantly reminded of a failed romance? Not me! I threw away all of his love letters, gifts, drawings, etc. into the trash bin. I wrote his name in the bathroom a long time ago, and I took a spongue and scrub that crap off! I deleted him off my phone, I deleted him off my life. It's hard. But the past is the past and that's where it's going to stay- Behind you. Move forward! Link to comment
winchester3 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 But the past is the past and that's where it's going to stay- Behind you. Move forward! Man that sounds almost exactly what my x said to me everytime i tried to contact her. Whats wrong with looking back on the amazing times you spent together with a smile? Maybe its different for the one doing the dumping? I put a lot of time, effort and money into the gifts i made/got for her. I hope they didnt just end up as garbage can filler. Well i guess it doesnt really matter any more, but still.... Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Man that sounds almost exactly what my x said to me everytime i tried to contact her. Whats wrong with looking back on the amazing times you spent together with a smile? Maybe its different for the one doing the dumping? [...] Yep. Big difference if you're the one who was dumped. Looking back on the good times causes grief and pain over the loss of future hopes and dreams, certainly not a smile. Maybe in time--but lots of time. You can't rush this, and you'll be viewed as clumsy and insensitive if you try. It's akin to walking up to someone who's house has just burned down and asking if they'd like a spin in your new sports car. I can understand why you'd believe it's possible to enjoy a friendship with an ex if you've never been scalded by a breakup. Lucky you. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, and so I do hope you never need to learn firsthand what it feels like. My best, Cat Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 1) Stop checking on him. You've done so well, just keep it up! You have everything in front of you. Link to comment
winchester3 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Yep. Big difference if you're the one who was dumped. Looking back on the good times causes grief and pain over the loss of future hopes and dreams, certainly not a smile. I was the one that got dumped. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I was the one that got dumped. Then all the better not to knock yourself out trying to pursue a friendship with someone who doesn't want to go there. Doesn't mean she'll never want to be friends, but when someone demo's that they're done, it's best to respect that. She knows how to reach you if she changes her mind. I once believed that it's mature to be friends with exes because that's what my divorced parents did. I later came to recognize that unless there are kids to co-parent or mutual circles you're forced to travel in (as with school) there's really no point in playing friendzies with an ex. It's just messy and uncomfortable. Link to comment
Brokenheart00 Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 I don't know about my situation. I would love to talk to my ex sometimes but otherwise, being friends and seeing each a lot, I don't think that is the best choice. Link to comment
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