If you worked at a store every Tuesday from

[sarsapolis6]

9 to 1 pm, and had at least 5-10 minutes to have a conversation with the person you have a crush on, what would you say on a routine basis...and how would your daily communication lead up to a potential coffee date?

 

I have used the sentence: "How was your weekend?" to break the ice, but now it's getting mundane. My goal is to get to know her, but also for her to get used to my personality, understand me a little better and not to think that I'm uptight and unfriendly. Today she asked for my assistance...but she gave me no eye contact.

 

Next week I'm really thinking about sharing info about what I did during the weekend as an ice breaker...in order to change things up a bit. What other things could I say within the short time period?

 

A friend has advised me: "Forget the idle chatter and just ask her out!" Not that simple.

[wayoverit]

Listen to your friend. Also tell yourself constantly: "Life is too f'ing short to be a chicken."

[sarsapolis6]

I feel that the "idle chatter" is necessary because even though she has seen me in the store, and knows my name, I'm not sure that she's impressed. I haven't done anything bad (like make a mistake or have a manager talk to me in front of her) but at the same time I haven't said or done anything that gave me a positive light in front of her. In other words, I have to give her a preview of what type of guy I truly am,

 

and so, the only way to do that is talking to her. A few minutes of chatter which doesn't friendzone me. Talking about our weekend doesn't seem to reveal much about her or myself. Everyone watches movies.

[rikka]

You are an employee and she is the customer? What kind of environment is it? Does she buy/look for the same thing every time? What she is shopping for COULD be a lead in to a more revealing discussion. Honestly though, a 5-10 minute window does not leave a lot of time to "get to know someone". If you could hone into a common interest you could give yourself an opportunity to get to know her outside of the "professional" environment. If you want to see what could happen you have to move this outside of this comfort zone and fast. What's the worst that could happen? She says she isn't interested, at least you tried. It happened about once a week to members of my staff (customers flirting with them, asking for numbers etc). It is flattering.

 

Just go for it!

[glegend]

From my personal experience I have to say just go for it and ask her out. You don't want to wait too long asi did because all got was a turn down.

[sarsapolis6]

You are an employee and she is the customer? What kind of environment is it?

 

I am in a bookstore.

 

Honestly though, a 5-10 minute window does not leave a lot of time to "get to know someone". If you could hone into a common interest you could give yourself an opportunity to get to know her outside of the "professional" environment.

 

I realize that it's not a lot of time to get to know someone, but my goal is to make myself interesting and *safe* enough so that way she won't instantly object to a small coffee break. She doesn't know me. I am friendly towards her and I don't see a grimace or a cautionary look on her face, so I assume that she's also friendly.

HOWEVER, does she trust me? I don't know. If I were a girl, I wouldn't go out to lunch or coffee with someone I didn't trust...even if this person's face is familiar.

 

I understand the consequences of waiting...but I am not trying to passively "wait" because my plan is to talk to her every Tuesday, making comments or a small conversation with a positive attitude until (maybe 2 weeks from now) I ask her out for coffee. By then her initial judgment of me will have improved. Right now, she sees someone who says hello to her with a smile on his face, says very little and takes out his cart to work in another area of the store. Yesterday was a little different; she saw a manager scold me on forgetting my paycheck stubs. Oops.

 

I want to give her a good preview. You wouldn't watch a movie if the preview didn't capture your attention, right?

But I am currently stuck on what to say.

[rikka]

bookstore makes it a lot easier. She asked you for assistance the other day right? You can use the sort of books/styles she looks at to gain a bit of an idea of what she likes, find some common ground and go from there. Maybe make a suggestion of something she might enjoy - that will give you an opening. "Oh I see you like X, have you ever read Y? It is great because.....". There is definitely some starter conversation potential. Does she come in every week or is it more sporadic?

[sarsapolis6]

She comes in every week.

 

I am nervous about tomorrow.

 

I don't know how much of a geek she is but my company now has its own ipod/iphone application and I thought of some idea of showing her what it was like since i have a Touch.

[rikka]

That's an excellent idea. At least it gives you an avenue to start a conversation. Don't be nervous (easier said than done of course). Just relax and be yourself, because that is who you want her to like.

 

Good luck! I am cheering for you.