Clear headed, and thinking about suicide

[ATLstudent]

So usually when suicidal thoughts come up in my mind, i am in a low down place, and very sad and depressed.

But lately i am thinking about suicide and its not really coming from a dramatic depressed state.

Yes Im not happy, but i feel like i am pretty restrained, pretty level right now

THis is why I am thinking of ending my life

I am tired everyday, I am fatigued everyday

I feel no energy, I barely remember what it feels like to feel normal during the day

The concept of being young and full of energy in no way applies to my life

I feel run down all the time

My skin is aging super fast, it really is, I was looking at old pictures and realized it was aging fast when i was younger too,

I really dont have a sex drive, I tend to myself about once a day, but i have no urges to have sex with anyone i meet, I am attracted to people and find them to be hot, but my having these raging hormones that makes me want to jump someones bones, that does not exist in me, so i really dont have a drive

My knees hurt everytime i use them, they are super sensitive and make it akward to do anything physical, My lower has been hurting for a few months now, and it flares up with any physical activity

THe sensitivity in my penis is very diminished, I feel pleasure upon ejaculation, but not really any up till that point, when i got a blow job a few times over the year i didnt feeel much and couldnt climax, it was numb feeliing, and now even masturbation doesnt reallly feel good, its just a compulsion

 

I guess i am super overwhelmed with my body and my life right now, and it was at one point just the mental tolls of my life that were pushing me to the edge, but now it is combined with serious physical conditions, I mean i can feel pleasure with sex, * * * . Im supposed to be young and ready to roll, but i am in no way, feel any vatality of energy, or even pleasure in life.

[melrich]

Im supposed to be young and ready to roll, but i am in no way, feel any vatality of energy,

 

Have you seen a doctor?

[sundaysmile]

ATLstudent, I am deeply sorry you're in such a difficult place right now. It IS hard to feel enthusiastic about life when you feel trapped in a body that's lethargic and achy.

 

But believe me when I say... you CAN turn this around. I second melrich's question; have you seen a doctor? A lot of vitamin or mineral deficiencies can cause lethargy like you describe -- especially iron or B12. Go see a doctor. Get blood tests. Find out what's up. There is NO reason you should be feeling this way at the age of 23.

 

What is your lifestyle like? Do you eat healthy? Do you exercise? It can be hard getting yourself motivated to live healthfully; might seem pointless when you just feel crummy all the time -- but truly, if you eat a lot of refined sugar/refined flour/artifical ingredients/diet soda/etc., that could be contributing to the way you feel. Eat whole, fresh, unrefined foods, lots of raw fruits and veggies, and see if you don't start feeling better pretty fast.

 

Do you have any digestive disorders (which can cause mineral/vitamin deficiencies)? Any undiagnosed allergies? Gluten intolerance (celeac) can make you feel pretty miserable, and a lot of people have this but don't know it. Again, go to a doc. It really sounds like something is medically wrong, and if it's treatable, there is no way in heck you should keep suffering because of it!

 

Good luck...

[ATLstudent]

They checked my blood today, and the cell check came back normal, they did a TSH test to look into my thyroid, i dont get those results for a few days.