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please help get me out of this


Disturbed

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i cut alot. but havent in labout 2 weeks which dosent sound like much but it a hellova accomplishment 4 me. ive been feeling much hapier but lately ive been feeling my self start 2 slip. my dark racing thoughts r coming back and all light is being sucked right out. my moods change alot and very drasticly and i hate not being able 2 control them. and i absolutely do not want 2 start cutting again because i know its not exactly healthy but if i give it much longer, lke a couple of days i know i will end up resorting back to that. Does anyone have any ideas of how 2 keep myself somewhat happy? please?

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I don't know much of anything about cutting. I wish I could be of more help. You are so young- everything seems so much worse when you are around 13 years old. This may be a phase that you grow out of when you are older, but please don't cut yourself. You're just a kid and you'll have scars for the rest of your life.

 

Can you talk here about what's upsetting you? Is there anything positive you can do, like taking a walk, that can make you feel a little better while the urge to cut passes?

 

I could be way off but are you mad at yourself for some mistake or for not living up to somebody's expectations? Are you in a bad situation that you need to escape from by feeling physical pain? What would you say to a friend if you knew she was hurting herself? Would you try to comfort her, and if so, don't you deserve the same kindness? You may want to see if you can go to a school counselor- I'm sure that sounds like everyone's answer but sometimes professionals have insight that you can't come up with on your own. Explaining a problem or feelings to someone else sometimes helps you realize things or get in touch w/ what's bothering you. Good luck!!

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how were you able to stop in the first place? Something worked. I haven't been able to stop, but, YOU have!

I suppose, if you can't find resolution with the underling problems and stressors, then, you should find other coping methods (counsellor, "burning" with ice cubes, new hobby - you know). Need more feedback from you.

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Hi Disturbed,

 

One way that has helped people avoid cutting is to take an ice cube (the square kind not the round kind) and crush it in their hand. The ice cube should be fairly good sized. Crushing it in your hand will be painful, but won't cause any permanent damage like cutting will. It helps cope with whatever is triggering you right at that moment to want to cut.

 

However you need to see a counselor to really beat this long term. Cutting is addictive and you have to try to understand the real reasons you feel the way you do. I'm guessing there is a lot going on in your life right now.

 

And you are doing really good to go 2 weeks. That's a great accomplishment!

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thank you. that helped somewhat. (the icecube thing) and i am seeing a therapist but i cant make myself trust her enough 2 talk 2 her. if i tell her anyhting she'll tell my dad anyways cause im a minor. because isnt it a tad bit pointless if ur going 2 a therapist and still try hiding ur thoughts? any suggesions?

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how were you able to stop in the first place? Something worked. I haven't been able to stop, but, YOU have!

I suppose, if you can't find resolution with the underling problems and stressors, then, you should find other coping methods (counsellor, "burning" with ice cubes, new hobby - you know). Need more feedback from you.

 

 

im not really sure exactly how i for the time being stopped but i think it was around the time i started being a pre-school summer camp counslor. and i havent completely stopped. my moods go in and out and when i dont it is only temporary. and since my first post i actually have done it. but im trying like hell 2 stop. but thankz 4 the advice.

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You should ask your therapist under what conditions she has to disclose the information you tell her. She will be honest with you about that. Some things that you say she can keep private. Other things like child abuse she would have to disclose.

 

As part of building trust with her, just talk about what she can keep just between the two of you. And then start there. You don't have to spill everything all at once. It takes time to build up that trust. And a good therapist understands that.

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its i guess not just her. i have trust issues. and im not used 2 "opening up"

also i read this w form or sumthin we had 2 sign the first time i went and it said if suicide is involved at all, she haz 2 tell my parents. so that just about closes all of my doors for communication bout that cause theres no way in hell my dad is going 2 know about that.

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You know, put it back on the therapist - them her that, since the disclosure form says that your confidence may not be kept, that you don't see how you can really bare your soul AND expect trust and privacy; see what she says to that.

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  • 1 month later...

i have a problem with cutting and the only way I stopped last time was that I had one friend, just one, who I could dump all my feelings to. Someone that at first didn't seem like a reliable person but turned out to be someone I depended on. Everytime I feel like cutting myself because of an argument with my parents or because of nothing at all and I just feel extremely depressed just call that one person and talk to him or her. Just tell him or her everything. Maybe not necessarily everything but just enough to get you to feel better. It helps and it helps that you see that your friend is hurting when he or she sees that you're hurting too...it kinda makes you feel guilty and kinda makes you think twice everytime you place that blade on your wrist. The only bad part about this is that when that person goes away you might start again. But really, if you can find someone like that, it really really helps

 

I don't want to discourage but I've had an incident when I talked with the school counselor and it ended pretty badly...so I don't recommend school counselors. Maybe a youth pastor would be better

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Hey hun,

 

The happiness thing... happiness sorta comes from within. Whats going on around you hun? if i may ask. At home and school and stuff? Stuff that gives you that sorta pain insides of you.

 

also you shouldn't worry about telling your counsellor. self-harm is NOT suicide. and they know that. she will understand and hopefully be able to help you to work towards stopping. afterall, your in counselling for a reason right. if you've not opened up yet, she will know, and probably be prepared for somethign like this.-or it wouldn't be so hard to say.

 

Stay strong

 

*hugs*

xxx

 

Ps. Two weeks is brilliant!!!! You go girl!!! FANTASTIC FANTASTIC FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey hun,

 

The happiness thing... happiness sorta comes from within. Whats going on around you hun? if i may ask. At home and school and stuff? Stuff that gives you that sorta pain insides of you.

 

also you shouldn't worry about telling your counsellor. self-harm is NOT suicide. and they know that. she will understand and hopefully be able to help you to work towards stopping. afterall, your in counselling for a reason right. if you've not opened up yet, she will know, and probably be prepared for somethign like this.-or it wouldn't be so hard to say.

 

Stay strong

 

*hugs*

xxx

 

Ps. Two weeks is brilliant!!!! You go girl!!! FANTASTIC FANTASTIC FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all, my counslor is stupid. she just dosent get it. so i just tell her what she wnats to hear. and i know self harm isnt suicide, but i have attempted it and so i cant tell her that or else she'll label me a psycho and ship me off someplace or sumthin. And please dont congradulate me ive cut myself like a whole lot since the first post. and i feel 100x worse then that first post. i just cant deal with it anymore. im either gonna emancipate myself which i cant cause im 13 or run away or kill my self cause society and people and just all these expectation are really getting to me and i cannot deal with all this pontlessness. thx 4 tryin 2 help.

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duh, there is nothing anyone can say to stop you from doing that... you need to fix your problem. cutting is not good, and you know that. you know that there are more healthy ways to deal with your stress and anxiety. they are not as easy or as comforting, but if you can adapt another coping mechanism, maybe you can salvage some jobs and relationships you might have in the future. ...... personally, activity, going to the gym, running, lifting weights... (besides the fact that going to the gym means showing off my scars and unhealed cuts... ) playing sports... all of those things help me get over stress. maybe try dat

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first of all, my counslor is stupid. she just dosent get it. so i just tell her what she wnats to hear. and i know self harm isnt suicide, but i have attempted it and so i cant tell her that or else she'll label me a psycho and ship me off someplace or sumthin. And please dont congradulate me ive cut myself like a whole lot since the first post. and i feel 100x worse then that first post. i just cant deal with it anymore. im either gonna emancipate myself which i cant cause im 13 or run away or kill my self cause society and people and just all these expectation are really getting to me and i cannot deal with all this pontlessness. thx 4 tryin 2 help.

 

Hey hun,

 

Hey,.. *Hugs*

 

I CAN congratulate you - regardless of what has happened since, you still went 2 whole weeks!!!

 

so thats a target to aim for again.

 

Why do you feel worse hun,what is happening?

 

None of those options sound great hun, what is happening at home?

 

It can get better hun, i swear.

 

Keep talking to us, xxx

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Be careful with that emancipation or running away business - those stories only end well when there is a plan in place (i.e., going to live with my kindly aunt or grandmother in Maine). Having all of your current problems added to and magnified by having to live out in the streets is probably not going to make things better.

 

Sorry, sorry, sorry, but a 13 year-old girl on her own is going to get targetted, over-and-over. Not to mention putting food on the table, and all that. Now, maybe you DO need to leave and get-out, but, you need to plan, not run!

 

What kind of distance, what kind of change do you think that you need? Why?

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are you able to tell your side of whats happening or is that more pressure?

what do you wish someone would say or do for you?

am i allowed to send a big hug?

do you have easy access to the internet to post when you want or need to.

sorry for so many questions but i want to help maybe best if you say how.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Be careful with that emancipation or running away business - those stories only end well when there is a plan in place (i.e., going to live with my kindly aunt or grandmother in Maine). Having all of your current problems added to and magnified by having to live out in the streets is probably not going to make things better.

 

Sorry, sorry, sorry, but a 13 year-old girl on her own is going to get targetted, over-and-over. Not to mention putting food on the table, and all that. Now, maybe you DO need to leave and get-out, but, you need to plan, not run!

 

What kind of distance, what kind of change do you think that you need? Why?

 

I don't have any real idea what kind of distance or change i need. I just can't deal with my parents always scrutinizing me and screaming at me and chipping away at my self esteem and trying to control everything i do, say, wear, act like, and what kind of music i listen to. My parents are divoriced and both remarried, and at both houses I'm treated like some psychopath. and my mom doesn't even know about my cutting and everything, she just hates me. Isn't your family supposed to be the ones who support you? Not tear you down? So basically I'm alone in this. I have no friends, and I don't trust the rest of my family. So I figure the two best options I have is either suicide, or running away. And all this, is not the root for my problems. If this was all, It would be at least bearable. Don't feel obligated to respond as I'm not worth it.

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i noticed in one of your earlier replies you enjoyed being a school counsellor.

you seem to be a caring person able to take time outside of your own problems to help others. i know a lot of adults who have never achieved that.

are you able to be a school counsellor now?

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Why, yes - families are meant to love you, support you, challenge you, comfort you, frustrate and aggravate you, help you..

 

You hardly sound like a psycho!! You seem very much in touch with yourself.

 

I doubt either parent hates you (I mean, not like you're baned from there?), but, I'm getting the feeling that both may have bigger issues (than just a divorce) going-on with them.

 

Importantly, you need to move along! Is your pain rooted in domineering parents - or, maybe, something else????

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Why, yes - families are meant to love you, support you, challenge you, comfort you, frustrate and aggravate you, help you..

 

You hardly sound like a psycho!! You seem very much in touch with yourself.

 

I doubt either parent hates you (I mean, not like you're baned from there?), but, I'm getting the feeling that both may have bigger issues (than just a divorce) going-on with them.

 

Importantly, you need to move along! Is your pain rooted in domineering parents - or, maybe, something else????

 

ok, so I've got another problem. school has just started. and I've been sort of pretty much fine all summer. and i've been really depressed and despondent at school. and so a few days ago, I started cutting again. and last night i tried to commit suicide. I took like 2 bottles of pills. It seems as though my body has a mind of it's own and it just won't die one me. And at school I have made a friend that understands me, but it dosent seem to be making much of a difference because i've only got one class with him and when I dont see him, i feel terrible again. Will all this hopelessness ever end?

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you say a few days ago you started cutting again.

maybe i'm mad but isnt the message there that you stopped.

 

life does suck at times but not all the time.

this person that you like is a good thing in your life.

can you make you the best thing in your life?

 

find the littlest thing that gives you pleasure(other people are unpredictable so look for something you control) and see can you make the pleasure last longer....make it something that benefits you!!

 

did you spot the hidden message in your own post that you started cutting again.in order to start again you had to have stopped.

sometimes we have to have a good, very long look at our lives to find the happy parts. people can be too focused on the miserable.

we do need to know where the miserable bits are so we can avoid repeats but look for the happy bits even if their so small they're nearly invisible.

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