I found out today

[confused_255]

Well, discussing things with a friend of mine/catching up. He mentioned to me that my ex was sleeping around, with no less, a friend of mine. Im still in love with her, and i need advice because i could potentially do something stupid and im very upset.

 

I realize shes gone and ive pretty much come to terms with that, i although,can not change how i feel about her even though she treated me so badly throughout the relationship.

 

With my friend ? really?

[savignon]

Well, since she's not your girlfriend, I don't know that you can call it "sleeping around" so much as "dating someone else"

It sucks that it's your friend and I'm sure it's painful since you still have feelings for her. Some people think exes are fair game and others think they're totally off limits. It looks like your friend has justified being with her for whatever reason and it seems she's ready to move on.

The best thing you can do is be prideful and self-respecting. Don't do anything 'stupid' or that you'll regret later.

[confused_255]

Well, since she's not your girlfriend, I don't know that you can call it "sleeping around" so much as "dating someone else"

It sucks that it's your friend and I'm sure it's painful since you still have feelings for her. Some people think exes are fair game and others think they're totally off limits. It looks like your friend has justified being with her for whatever reason and it seems she's ready to move on.

The best thing you can do is be prideful and self-respecting. Don't do anything 'stupid' or that you'll regret later.

 

Well as sleeping around i didn't mean dating, i meant shes been whoring around. Sleeping with multiple guys through the week, being a * * * * . I apologize if i had misconstrued.

[coyote1980]

Well,,,,,let it go. It's not your business anymore.

I don't know how close you are with your friend, but I'd be more mad at your friend than your ex........

[confused_255]

Well,,,,,let it go. It's not your business anymore.

I don't know how close you are with your friend, but I'd be more mad at your friend than your ex........

 

 

Well its both of them, She's obviously in a vulnerable state, hes taking advantage of the situation, but at the same time i don't see this is a good way for her to deal with her emotions. Especially when the fact is that shes likely doing it to try to hurt me.

[XxJustMexX]

I know it's difficult because all you can think about are the good times, which can be a good thing. But right now, I suggest you think about the reasons why it's NOT good to be with her... Maybe that will help ease the pain. For one, if she is the type to go sleeping with one of your friends, why should you love someone like that? For two, I think you should take a better look at your friends. I know some may think it's fair game, but a real friend would at least talk to you about it first to see if you would be ok with it... JMO.

 

Second, I know you're probably both rebounding... but sleeping with multiple guys? That's not just rebounding, that's what you just said... wh*rish... I understand people rebound and hook up with other people, must most of the time they focus on going out on dates meeting new people to get their mind off of their ex... not going around screwing them, especially multiple ones... That shows you her character. Please think... is this the type of person you WANT in your life? Good times or not, it's whether you want to share your whole life with this person.

 

Her sleeping around after your break up not only shows bad character... But shows that once she doesn't get her way... things go bad in her life... or she just plain needs to "get her mind off of things"... these are the types of things she's capable of doing... Are you willing to accept that and live with that?

[confused_255]

I appreciate your response and i thank you for it. First of all, i tried to be mutual during the break up, i knew we both wanted different things, but at the same time, it was hard for me to just let her walk away.

 

She was extremely immature and irrational, she also had extreme anger problems, which i had to deal with day in and out. Her anger was overwhelming me and even though, i still loved her, she would accuse me of cheating, and talk about all these other guys that "wanted her" and how she could cheat too "if she wanted to." (This was still her assuming i was cheating on her).

 

She would hit and throw things when she wasn't able to find a certain object, etc, I knew it wasn't going to work out, and i was sure that it needed to end but, I can't change the way i feel, and even though i know we can't be together because of all of this, and extenuating circumstances on my behalf, and hers as well, i don't believe that this was the appropriate thing that she could have done, no i probably wouldn't get back together with her even if she wanted to, Im ready to settle down a bit more, grow up a tidbit, and maybe start sharing our lives together, im no longer in party-mode.

 

Im trying really hard to not care anymore especially with all these issues we had, its weird how you can love someone through so much. The difference is im not sleeping around with her friends, or her sister, which i have had the chance. As for spending the rest of my life together? at first maybe, after what ive been put through with her, definitely not. Although thats my mind speaking, not my heart.

[XxJustMexX]

Although thats my mind speaking, not my heart.

 

I know people may differ in opinion regarding this... But I think it's sometimes in some circumstances better to lead with your mind. I know sometimes the mind plays tricks on you therefore you should trust your heart... But with all you've said, I believe it's time to let your mind do the leading.

 

Believe me, I've been there, done that. Gone through many mentally abusive relationships... It took me a LONG time to get out of them because well... comfortability. I'm actually going through the exact same thing right now actually which is why I've taken an interest to your post. I'm trying to take everything I'm telling you and believe them myself and take my own advice. (That's hard for us humans to do isn't it???) We always know what we have to do... It's just SOOO hard to do it. I think we need to accept that it's going to hurt and we need to get through it. If we take the easy way out and get back into the same rut... we need to realize we're starting the same cycle all over again.

 

I think she's very unhealthy for you and I hope you can let go enough to stop hurting so much.

[confused_255]

I hope that you can get through all that you are dealing with. It's a hard situation, i loved her, i still do, she was really the only girl that i have felt i have loved. It's a tough situation but im sure Ill get through it, we were made to withstand a large amount of pain whether that be emotionally mentally or phsyically. I know that i couldn't be with her and ive been trying to think clearly, i've been doing well for the past couple weeks. I haven't thought about her nearly at all until my friend brought this up.

 

I was known to be emotionally detatched, then i met her and she opened up my world, only for it to be torn down. I've basically become emotionally detatched from everything again to keep myself from being hurt, although i still feel for her, some reason, why i don't know, she just gets to me, that girl i loved.

[fishguy]

Your ex sounds similar to mine and I know what your going through.It's hard to be in love with someone you know isn't healthy for you.

But rest assured her behavior patterns will repeat with every other guy she's with.The Jealousy and anger issues he'll now have to deal with.We both deserve better