How to approach him if I don't even know him?

[katerinacs]

Hi everyone! I have a question. There is this guy I see everyday before one of my classes and we seem to have a lot of eye contact. I've noticed that when he can, he tries to look at me. Now, I look at him and smile and he smiles back. He's really attractive and also is in a symphonic band, which it's cool, because I like music. Anyway, I really want to get to know him, but I don't know how to approach him the first time and not come accross as "desperate" or "awkward," because he's not even in any of my classes, he's just someone I see every day. How should I start talking to him? I'm a very outgoing person; I just don't know how to start a conversation with someone I don't even know or share anything in common yet. Should I just keep smiling or just start a conversation? Any advice? Thanks!

[Beec]

Couple of suggestions.

 

Just walk past him and say "hi" and keep going. Stuff like that to see if you can draw him out, and get him to start the actual conversation. You eye contact is telling him their is interest, although he may not get it. Your "hi" tells him it is okay to talk to you.

 

Second, indirect attack. Approach a friend of his and talk to him. This is easier to do and non-threatening to him.

 

Third, physically bump into him. have someone direct you and them apologize, say excue me, I'm sorry are you ok? Then keep talking.

 

Or, drop something near him and see if he will move to help you pick it up. Then say thanks and I'm ______________, introduce yourself. Also nonthreatenting.

[Redneck]

me being a guy, what you should do is have a friend bump into you with a hand full of books, and make sure that you are close to him when you do it. If he is a gentlemen he will help you pick them up, when he does help you thank him and introduce yourself and take it from there...

good luck

[lilstoner07]

being a guy as well i agree with you but see im no one to talk. there is this girl roxy at my school, im in high school, that i really like and was scared to talk to her. but one day on the bus we " shared" a friend kinda like we both knew her and we all like got to talking. now we talk everyday. but she thinks that i am like a friend who likes to listen to her about "hot guys" just to listen. she doesnt get it that i like her. alot! i mean i talk about her alot. she gave me a nickname b/c she doesnt think i look like what my real name is. if you have any advice i think you can email on this site but if not contact me with a private message or if you just want to talk im an open guy.

[chrysanthelien]

Katerinacs,

I agree with the others about drawing him out subtly, by saying hi and continuing the eye contact. I'm not a fan of book-dropping, because I think it's awkward, but if you know he's in a band, you probably know someone who knows him or knows one of his friends. If you're not shy, arrange to be with a friend who knows him, who can introduce u casually as u walk to class or cross paths, where she can chat with him briefly while u smile and check him out, or ask him what classes he's taking. Then, in the future, you can stop and chat. Or, if you're not shy, stop him and say, "you're in the symphonic band right? Can you tell me where the X performance will be?" or something like that. Yeah it's a little lame, but if he's trying to make eye contact with you, he probably won't mind it much. And I do agree with bumping into him, but only if you're sure he's interested in you.

 

Lilstoner,

She might 'not get it' that you like her, or might choose not to get it, and might be waiting for you to make your move. Regardless of which one it is, it's up to you to be more assertive, or else you'll lose a chance with her for good. Girls tend to categorize guys as datable or friends, and don't like to cross-categorize much. Why don't you ask her out some time, see what she says? If she doesn't get it, asking her on a date will tell you whether she just didn't realize or whether she was trying to hint to you by talking about hot guys that she wasn't interested (or that she is available). You're afraid she'll say no and not talk to you anymore, but if she does like you and you don't realize it, she's just waiting for you to make your move and if you don't move you'll lose that chance for good. And if she turns you down, at least you cut your teeth and tried, which will help you practice asking other girls out in the future.

 

Cheers,

Chris

[RandyB]

Katerinacs,

 

You may not have heard this before, but guys LIKE to be approached by girls, and girls don't even have to be cool and smooth about it the way guys try to. In fact, a little embarrassment can even work in your favor. (Guys like confidence in girls as much as girls like it in guys, but there is something more exciting about a girl who has to overcome a little shyness first and approaches a guy anyway.) There are so few girls, or even older women, who initiate contact that you will immediately stand out from the crowd, and you won't look silly doing it, trust me. Guys love it. That isn't to say every guy you approach you is going to like you back, but usually they'll be so impressed that you approached them at all they won't soon forget you.

 

RandyB

[Massari]

I completely agree with "RandyB" as a 20 year old guy I can tell youoff the bat that guys like to be approached by girls especially if she is shy (at lease I like that). Try to just talk to him, just start with a "hi" and there is high chance that he'll start a convesation. a nice eyecontact is a real turn on for me. good luck and tell us how it turned out!

[katerinacs]

Thanks guys! I'll see him this week and tell you how it turned out. Guys always tell me the same thing, to overcome my shyness and talk to the guy, since most of them like girls that take the next step and appreciate if we do so. Thanks again! God bless!

[curiousgeorge916]

Literally just go talk to him. A girl I was physically interested in (but never once talked to) came up to me about two weeks ago and said no more than one sentance, and I haven't gotten her out of my head since. Sadly, I'm too busy with school at the moment to go and pursue her, but I will not forget her for when I find the opportunity to go talk to her later on. So, don't worry, just go talk to him. It's much better than the both of you just sitting there wondering if the other is ever going to do anything about those shared smiles.