From the brokenhearted guy (thanks for the advice)

[Gerhard]

Thanks for listening and caring enough to answer you guys. I think she had enough chances to get it right with me. Any effort has got to come from her side now because I think I've done enough. She'll always be special to me, but I'm not going to bend over backwards for her anymore. One of you are going through the same situation and asked me how I coped with the loss. Well, at first you don't. You feel used and it hurts allot. You can't just stop loving the person although you try not to anymore. I'm not ashamed to say that I choked up a few times (I tried to be alone then). It's difficult to say, you just cope, you keep on figthing everyday never giving up. Then one day you just wake up and you smile again. I guess time does heal old wounds. I don't know yet if the scars go away, hopefully they'll fade as time goes by. So all I can say to you man, hang in there, whatever happens happens. Write all your feelings down and post them here, we all will try to help you.

 

Thanks again !!

[Jonathan_in_fl1607306450]

that was me that is going through the same thing. I finally got about 6 hours of sleep. Twice as much as I havgotten over the past 3 days. I am going to try to eat a peeled apple. I was dreaming about eating one and is the only thing that I might be able to stomah after not eating for 3 days. This has been the longest weekend of my life. I am just so shocked that her truck was at his house early in the morning. I have to realize that I did not lose anything here. What I thought I had, was an illusion. And that I am gaining something.....what I dont know. I know for a fact that she will try coming back to me in 1 week, or month, or year. It is part of her pattern so say her old -not current friends. And everyone was hoping I would be the person who broke the patern. She told me more than once that I was the love of her life....how could it have come to this. and how could she go back to an abusive ex?????? I truly planned on spending the rest of my life with her. Now I am homeless because I moved in with her. I have to completely rebuild my life again -including friends, home, everything. I hope I can be strong enough to not take her back when she calls.... ohwhat oh what ohwhat can ido? and where and how do I start rebuilding?????

[Gerhard]

Funny how they always wanna be friends after they rip your guts out. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think they should even try if they do something like that. You have it far worse than I thought. I truly feel for you man. Doesn't matter what anyone say, you gonna struggle rebuilding your life. I think running back to her ex immediately is just away of coping with her pain, and frankly, very very cowardly. How dare she leave you with that kind of broken trust. I can't speak for you, but you should absolutely NOT take this woman back. We just always do don't we !

There is no easy way of dealing with this Jonathan, I don't know if you are Christian or Muslim or Hindu or whatever, but the higher power will NOT put something in your way that you cannot handle. We just think that we can't. When she left me, 3 weeks later, she was kissing another guy (just a fling) in front of me !!! I really think we're better off without these kind of people. I know, easier said than done, life has thrown you a horrible curve ball straight to the face, you just gotta kick back so hard with a kind of strength that I know we all have inside us. I also had sleepless nights and lost about 15lbs. I promise you, no matter how hard it seems now, you'll understand one day. I realised yesterday after months and months of anger and hurt that, hey, I'm actually glad you're not in my life anymore, of course it still hurts a bit, that's just the disappointment I still feel, but I'll survive, and so will you.

Keep on posting here. Anyone reading this, please read Jonathan's story on "Brokenhearted guy (thanks for the advise)" that's supposed to be me, but the second part is his. There are far more clever me than me out there, perhaps you can advise better. Thanks and good luck J, I pray for you tonight !!