think i blew it

[dfeeser]

Hello,

 

I have been interested in this girl since the beginnning of the semester. Only before, i was in a long-term relationship for about 3 years. Recently, we broke up and i was thrown back into the dating scene @ 21. I was never good at talking to girls and missed the best time of my life to learn howto due to my relationship.

 

Anyway, this girl had been giving me looks in class and i decided that i neededt o talk to her. It was just the fact of actually going through with it. So i psyched myself up the class before and decided that i was going to sit next to her. By the time i had gotten into class, i decided not to sit next to her and chickened out. After class i said her name and the convo went like this:

 

Hey penny?

Do you drive a mustang?

Yeah, why... i saw you yesterday driving on 17 and you helped me to get to work on time.

Oh did the car have a yellow stripe on it?

Yes.. and i walked away as my car was the other direction

 

BAD move eh? I should have just stayed and talked about the car or something.. Now i feel she probably thinks i was stalking her or something. Should i try to sit next to her next class time? Any advice on things to say? I was always shy around girls because i was afraid my gf would get mad if i talked to others...so i never did....

 

any help would be greatly appreciated

 

devin

[shazza]

Well, firstly, I wouldn't worry that she thinks you're stalking her, you guys are in a class together so naturally you're going to notice someone that you recognise if you see them in their car. A casual comment like that probably feels like your confessing your feelings or that your feelings are written all over your face, but I doubt this is really the case. She might of thought you were stalking if you said, "Hey I saw you Mon at.....Tues at...Wed at......" etc. Or if you said "I followed your car" but what you said sounded like a casual, friendly comment. Although beware, walking away without officially ending the conversation might make you seem rude - I have a guy in my uni class who I think is kind of cute, and sometimes when I talk to him he's lovely, but other times he can be shy and abruptly end a conversation which drives me CRAZY and is really annoying, cos I, (as most girls seem to agree) don't like to feel desperate always being the one to approach and talk to HIM. I guess what I'm trying to say is she might think you're cute, (like I think this boy is!) and want to talk to you but might be a little shy herself, but now you've made the contact so the hardest part is over.....next time, sit next to her in class, even if you don't speak during the class you can talk about what was said in class later, or comment on something she's wearing, or something she's reading, or anything else you notice that might lead to a conversation! Just take a deep breath and confront those fears boy - because confidence is a very attractive thing! And instead of regretting what you DIDN'T do, after the moment has passed, next time you feel nervous just remind yourself that you'll never know if you don't try.....and that everyone, even the most confident person, has those same feelings....they just learn to confront them! Good luck

[conner2200]

I met a girl that I ended up dating from a class. The first few classes I noticed where she usually sat. The next class I made sure to get there before she did and sat next to her usual spot. When she came in she sat beside me. (This is a great approach - if they don't like you they'll sit somewhere else). The next few classes we just made small talk. After I got to know her a little I usually tried to tell her something funny that had happened from the weekend or the night before. Finally after a couple of weeks I invited her for a drink. Worked for me....