our friendship changed for some reason

[ddriver7]

Theres this girl I've been friends with for about 6 or 7 months now. When we first met and got to know each other, we both kind of liked each other. I asked her out but she just wanted to stay friends, and I have no problem with that. We talked a lot, we called each other a lot, etc... But for about the last week things have changed greatly. Lately, when I see her at school it seems she ignores me. When I come up to her to talk to her I feel like she doesn't want to be around me or talk to me. She used to be happy to see me, you know, nicer in general. Although we are friends, we argue a lot. She always says we fight like a married couple. I agree, but we don't "fight", we kind-of always dissagree on things and just try to push each others buttons.

 

It may have started a few days ago, we had an argument about why we always fight and she brought up why she didn't want to go out with me. We said some bad things, but we made up and I thought everything was good. But since around that time, she just seems different like I mentioned above. I'm interested in her best friend and hope to ask her out soon, so I'm thinking thats one of the problems. I asked her if she thought I should ask her friend out and she said "Do what you want. I don't care." She seemed kind of weird about it. She knows I like her friend, but I don't know why she'd be bothered by it - she has a boyfriend and has made it clear we are just friends.

 

I called her last night, left a message. Called her tonight, left a message. Its really weird. She used to call all the time.

 

What do you guys think? It just seems like all of a sudden she's not the girl I've been friends with all year. I can't tell if she's mad about our fight or about me and her friend or something I don't even know about.

[hazel eyes]

It's obvious that she likes you...even if she won't admit it

she is mad at your inconsideration of mentioning her friend as your next endeavor.

[sweetie14]

ok thats funny you mentioned this cuz me and this guy are in that same exact situation he asked me out I said I wanted to be friends he wants to go out with my best friend cuz I rejected him. Well I told him I dont care do what tou want and he called me and I didnt pick the phine up. Well if this girl is like me yes she likes u......maybe she didnt in the beginning but she got to know u and liked u but just still wanted to be friends but ok DONT GO OUT WITH HER friend it wont work out trust me.....maybe that girl u use to like will tell her not to cuz she'll be jealous......

[ddriver7]

I know she probably likes me, but its weird. To me it seemed like we used to like each other and later lost interest. But like you said, maybe she started having feelings for me later and I didn't notice.

 

I forgot to mention that I found out through a friend that she's had a boyfriend probably this whole time. Maybe she never told me because she likes me, I don't know. You'd think I would've heard him mentioned at least once, but I never had a clue. Weird huh?

 

but ok DONT GO OUT WITH HER friend it wont work out trust me.....maybe that girl u use to like will tell her not to cuz she'll be jealous......

 

 

I still think I should go out with her friend. SHE was the one who asked me if I like her friend, which got me interested in her to begin with, and I really like her now. I would think a girl who tells her friend everything would mention I like her, but it doesn't seem like she did. I was counting on her to get the ball rolling between her friend and I, but everytime I mention it she gets weird. This one day she said "I have something to ask you, but I feel weird about asking you. Do you have a thing for (my friend)?" Basically I said I do. I didn't think she would ask me that if she liked me. Why should I give up what I think could be a great relationship with her friend? I have way more in common with her friend, and I mean a lot, and we just get along better. I think it'll work out. And considering the way she's been acting lately, I don't care what she thinks. She had her chance.

[sweetie14]

Ok well I did the same exact thing I go to the kid who asked me out"Do u like my friend would u wanna go out with her?" I asked it thinking it wouldnt hurt me in anyway cuz I told him I wanted to just stay friends. But its killin me inside, and the only reason I asked him was to see if he only had feelings for me and only me which I see isnt true. Only because now they are going out and I feel so guilty I told him I wanted to stay friends. And I wanna break them up so bad but wont becuz I had my chance and I let it slip away. And Thats weird she had a bf the whole time and didnt tell u yeah I think she liked u and wanted to see how u were like

[ddriver7]

Nice to get advice from someone whos been in the same situation. What do you think I should do? I can't get a hold of her and I don't want to call again. I was planning to call her friend to ask her out, maybe she'll talk to me about this. I'd hate to lose her as a friend, especially if its because of me and her friend going out (which I'm still not positive is the problem). Is our friendship ruined or is this just a bad period we're going through? Or maybe its just a big missunderstanding?

 

And Thats weird she had a bf the whole time and didnt tell u yeah I think she liked u and wanted to see how u were like

 

Yeah, I forgot to mention that she's kind-of a flirt with guys (which I have another thread about). So I wouldn't be surprised if she liked someone while she had a bf. You'd think she would say her having a bf is the reason we couldn't go out, but she didn't. I can't wait to find out what's really going on and how it turns out. Thanks.

[sweetie14]

ok I really dont know if your friendship is over, when my other ex and I didnt talk for a lil period of time I thought it was over but it wasnt, well if u cant get a hold of her on the phone try writing a letter telling her how u feel. And forget wut I said ask her friend out talk to her friend maybe she knows whats wrong with the girl and just maybe she'll tell you, it looks like to me she does like u but maybe shes afraid to get involved with you becuz of her boyfriend, maybe her boyfriend is a controlling guy and doesnt want her to talk 2 u becuz he knows u liked her. If u wanna talk other ways tell me if u have aol or aim I hope im helping a lil

[ddriver7]

Thanks, you are helping btw. I'll pm you if I wanna talk sometime, but its no big deal.

 

Its just weird to think she might like me. I could tell she liked me when we first got to know each other, but I assumed that since she said dating wouldn't work out that she really just wanted to be friends. I mean, I still like her, but I've put that behind me. So if she likes me I wish she would just tell me and we could probably hook up. And lots of people ask us if we're bf/gf. Why does she have to play games like this? Just when I thought it was cool to date her friend now I'm thinking about her again.

 

Btw, I've never met her bf, she says he's out of state, so I doubt he even knows that she messes around with other guys. I called her friend earlier, but she still hasn't returned my call. I hope she's not ignoring me as well, then I'd start to worry. If she is, then I've lost a friend and possibly a girlfriend all at once. But I'm probably just overreacting. Or maybe she is telling her friend not to go out with me. I don't know, maybe I'll find out more in the next day or two. Thanks again.

[ddriver7]

Okay now I'm starting to think somethings going on. Over the last few days I've called her twice and left messages to call me. Nothing. Then I finally got the nerve to call her friend to ask her out last night and she didn't answer, which is surprising because we have no problems, so I left a message. What the hell is going on? I mean I understand that people can be busy, but its been days. I don't want to bother them by calling but I'd like to know whats going on. It feels like all of a sudden they don't want to know me anymore. She used to call all the time so this isn't like her. I was sure somebody would call today but I was wrong again. I was hoping to get together and hang out with her this week but I'm guessing she doesn't want to, and I won't see her till next week at school, so I don't know what to do. I have so many different feelings right now that I'm confused about whether or not I even care anymore. I know I've said some mean things to her, but I don't think I deserve being ignored for no good reason.

[sweetie14]

ok this is just plain weird now....everything thats happening with u and the 2 girls is happening exactly to me my friend and the guy. Ok hes ignoring me and I confronted him on it....thinkin he'd deny it and say he was busy or something would be good, but u wanna know his answer becuz my feelings are to strong and it hurts talkin to you, so im kinda hurt in a way. My friend is kinda ignoring him now becuz she knows I like the kid so if your situation is like mine then this is how it goes:

You 2 became friends, and u started to fall for her, but he only liked u as a friend and she had a boyfriend. So u were hurt, and she didnt know what she wanted at the time. She liked u but didnt want to ask u out becuz of her boyfriend maybe she loves him and likes u I donno but I do know this. So U started liking her friend, and maybe she saw this and asked u bout it. U said u liked her friend and she got jealous. Now her friend likes u but....friends come b4 guys so of course shes gonna pick her friend over u. Her friend prolly knows she likes u and doesnt wanna get in the way. So a simple solution is.....to ignore u. So if they wanna be like that....my best advice to u is to ignore them both...they'll see u as not a begger and maybe they'll get curious on why u stopped talkin to them....Lose contact let them come crawl back to u....

[sweetie14]

ok this is just plain weird now....everything thats happening with u and the 2 girls is happening exactly to me my friend and the guy. Ok hes ignoring me and I confronted him on it....thinkin he'd deny it and say he was busy or something would be good, but u wanna know his answer becuz my feelings are to strong and it hurts talkin to you, so im kinda hurt in a way. My friend is kinda ignoring him now becuz she knows I like the kid so if your situation is like mine then this is how it goes:

You 2 became friends, and u started to fall for her, but he only liked u as a friend and she had a boyfriend. So u were hurt, and she didnt know what she wanted at the time. She liked u but didnt want to ask u out becuz of her boyfriend maybe she loves him and likes u I donno but I do know this. So U started liking her friend, and maybe she saw this and asked u bout it. U said u liked her friend and she got jealous. Now her friend likes u but....friends come b4 guys so of course shes gonna pick her friend over u. Her friend prolly knows she likes u and doesnt wanna get in the way. So a simple solution is.....to ignore u. So if they wanna be like that....my best advice to u is to ignore them both...they'll see u as not a begger and maybe they'll get curious on why u stopped talkin to them....Lose contact let them come crawl back to u....

[ddriver7]

Its freaky that we're in the same situation. I want to ignore them, but I still keep thinking about it. Like what if they are just too busy or out of town or something? I know its not likely, but I'm trying to look at it from all sides. This morning I thought to myself something bad might have happened to them and I got worried. I know it sounds crazy but I'm just so confused.

 

I don't mind ignoring her, but I do wanna call her friend and maybe ask her out. But she probably won't answer and I don't want to leave another message and seem needy you know. So lets say I don't see or speak to them until next week at school. What happens when I see them then? Should I confront her? I know she won't be honest, I've tried to talk to her in the past about stuff like this and she just said she was okay, but I could tell she was lying. I don't see them crawling back to me because they both have a lot of other friends, male and female, but I'll give it a shot. Now I just feel alone, and everytime I think about them I get more and more angry. Anyway, thanks for the advice. Talk to you later!

[ddriver7]

Well, I finally got to see her at school today. She ignored me for the first part of the day, but finally at the end of the day I asked her where she was and why she didn't call back. She said she never got my calls. What a load of crap. I could easily tell she was lying. I find it hard to believe that a girl who's constantly on the phone never got five calls and all the messages I left, when in the past she always did.

 

After today, I sensed that she doesn't like me that way. To make things worse for me, her friend that I like was telling me about this guy who likes her and how she likes him too. Then she asked me if I hooked up with any girls over spring break. I said no, and then she says "We'll have to find you someone to go out with." So I'm pretty much giving up on going out with her as well. She also said that she got my message, but doesn't like to return calls. So I'm thinking she knew I was going to ask her out and avoided it. No wonder she mentioned the other guy out of nowhere. I just feel so stupid for falling for both of them. But hey, maybe they'll hook me up with a nice girl.

 

Although she probably thinks its all okay, its not. I still don't know why she's being the way she is. Heres what I've figured out so far: Even if she does like me nothing's going to happen, so I've ruled that out. She knows I like her friend, but that seems to be over as well. So I still don't know why she acts differently than she used to. She's all close and friendly with her other friends, but when I walk by she barely says hi. I know it seems by reading all this that she likes me and doesn't want me to date her friend, but in reality it isn't like that. I know they both ignored me for some reason. I don't expect to find a true explanation, but I'm just so angry because I basically can't go out with her or her friend and it seems they don't want to hang out with me for some reason. Oh well, thanks to all who gave me good advice!