I need boyfriend advice

[tiff8434]

Here is the deal. I have been broken up with a guy that I date almost two years. This were really seriouse. He took me to pick out rings and told me that he loved me and could not wait to be my husband one day. So this leads me to the point that I am now. He up and tells me three weeks ok that he dosent want a relationship and wants to be free. So the first thing I ask him is it for another girl and he says no. Well, 3 days after we broke up he leaves a letter at my house saying he misses me and hopes that we can be together soon and he dosent want me to feel any of the pain. So I called him like a couple days later and he says he dosent know what the future holds but he still cares about me and would do anything for me. I am so confused right now. He swears it is not another girl he just dosent want to be tied down right now. Our relationship was great we never fought or anything. I am trying to find out if maybe he is just scared? Any advice would be great. I know that he is the one I am supposed to be with and I am at a loss for feelings with all this.

[Purple53]

I was in a similar relationship and found out that my (now ex) was scared. After 2 years, everyone was asking when is the wedding and we talked about it. He seemed ok with it and we even went as far as looking at rings. Well, he ended up breaking up with me. We later got back to together (lasted for about 3 weeks) and we broke up again. When we got back together, he brought up the topic about marriage but when we spoke about it, he didn't seem to agree with any of my suggestions. He started an argument and used that to get out of the relationship again. I was told by some of his friends that he was scared. I don't know if I buy that because he started another relationship with someone else almost immediately after the break up. We never got back to together... I would suggest you open the conversation. Find out how he feels about settling down and let him know whatever he says, is ok with you. He may be scared but doesn't want to tell you because he thinks that is what you want. Both of you should be comfortable with the topic. Good Luck!

[badbadbad]

Going out on a limb, I bet you're both too young. Personally I really think most people should have the experience of losing a love (cos I did, lol...once or twice), if they are ever to know how truly lucky they are to be mutually in love. Better to have some pain, build some character, and learn a few things about life outside of marriage, than to hook up young when you're high on life, and wonder what everyone else is doing your whole life. Married at 19, 3 kids by 25, and that's your life...the only way out of that structure by that point is to totally ruin a bunch of other people's lives for your own selfish needs, and who would want to do that? You know what? It's 2004, the Future! Post-post-post Modern times...nothing wrong with not settling down by drinking-age. Fall in love, get crushed, heal, learn, grow.

And if you're lucky (or simply still alive and engaging life) you'll eventually find a situation that feels right to both of you, and you can have a parner for life, raise a familiy, buy an SUV, and jeez who knows what else...and just think of the confidence you'll have in that future relationship if you're both mature enough to know a little bit about the consequences of sharing love...

 

sorry for rambling a bit, take it with a grain of salt

you could call me jaded, but I'd just say "hell, I'm 32", what do you expect?

Oh, and this guy of yours was foolish with your heart, and now feels guilty, and that's why he is being so nice. He probably does still care about you. Don't be confused. Listen to exactly the words he says, and move on sister. You have a lot more to live and a lot more to give.

d>

[tiff8434]

I still want him back and I think that "one" day that we will be together. I may be a fool. I am not rushing the aisle but when you know you know. I am just waitng at this time. Not putting my life on hold but waiting on him he is that special to me! thanks for all the advice.

[Tinkerbell]

I think that the reason he suddenly neeeded to detach himself from you was fear. Looking at rings probably really got to him, because although I don't doubt he loves you, the thought of being with one woman for the rest of his life probably freaked him out. Since he says it's not another girl I think that you should trust his word, but certainly find out whether or not it's because he's scared. He's obviously having trouble dealing with his emotions right now so getting a straight answer out of him might be hard.

[tiff8434]

These feelings are so strong I can not get him off of mind. We have not talked in almost a week and I am scared that he has compleley moved on. What do you guys think? The emotions and feelings change so drastically on what I think is up all I can do is guess. I want us to be together and I want him to want me the way I want him and he said he did. Some say move on some say he is confused just give him time. What do I do!