First kiss in a car?

[applelover]

So I have been on a about 5 dates with this girl I am starting to fall for. The first few times we went out I am not even sure I would classify them as dates. The last couple of times we have seen each other I have been a little more aggressive in regards to putting my arm around her while walking next to her or sitting with her and such, making it obvious how I am feeling. I think she may be starting to feel the same or at least is interested because a couple of times as we were sitting and I put my arm around her she would lean in towards me and one time leaned her head on my shoulder. These are good signs right? One thing that has bothered me is that I have not held her hand yet which I really want to; it just hasnt seemed like the right opporutnity yet.

 

Well anyways to my point... I really want to kiss her too and am waiting for the right time to do it. The thing is all of our dates have been to public places such as the theatre for a play or a dinner and show type club where we aren't really ever alone for a move like that. I think we may be going to a movie next weekend and want to make my move then. Would it be in appropiate to kiss her while in the theatre, say before the movie starts as to not ruin the movie. Or how about in the car after I drop her off? I can't really walkt her to her door because where she lives I drop her in a side alley where there is a gate that goes right to her house. Cant really leave my car blocking the alley to walk her literally 10 feet.

 

My other concern is that I have known this girl for a couple of years but only started seeing her the last few months and its been long periods of time between dates. I really like her and we have a lot in common. If she is more into just friends would a kiss attemp jeopardize that? I think she has sent some signals that she feels the same. After our last night out, I sent her a text saying thank you for an awesome night and how much I like going out and spending time with her. She wrote back "ditto".

 

I know that turned into several points and questions, but I am just really confused about what to do.

 

Thanks in advance for the help.

[sophie274]

Well I think you definitely need to make a move. If she keeps accepting your dates and seems ok with physical contact, then she is probably waiting for you to kiss her! I think I might be a bit put off if a guy I liked waited more than 5 dates to kiss me, so I really think you should go for it. I don't think hand holding needs to come before kissing - for me, hand holding is more of a boyfriend thing, and I would probably expect for the first physical contact between me and a guy I was dating to be a hug/kiss.

 

Is there no way you can go for drinks after the movie, or go for a walk? I think kisses in the car a bit awkward (there's a lot to lean over, not exactly the best positioning), as are kisses in a movie theater. Or just block the alley (it's just a few minutes) and walk her to her door and kiss her - it seems unlikely that there'll be a lot traffic coming in and out. Either way, seems it would be best to find somewhere relatively secluded with no armrests/handbrakes between you two.

[Duckie198100]

Right before you sit down in your seats for the movie, pull her to you and kiss her. That would be very romantic.

[applelover]

The five dates have been spread over about 5 months. With the last two coming in the last 3 weeks. I think the first couple of times we went out it was more of a reconnecting rather than dates. At least thats how I saw it. There was very little physical contact the first three or so times.

 

As far as my car goes, I drive a tahoe with a bench style seat in the front so there isnt really a lot in the way. But point taken, I agree it is a bit awkward.

 

Maybe drinks afterwards would be a good idea. But I think I may run into the same situation of finding a secluded place. Or am I am putting too much into that and should just not worry about how alone we are?

[sophie274]

The five dates have been spread over about 5 months. With the last two coming in the last 3 weeks. I think the first couple of times we went out it was more of a reconnecting rather than dates. At least thats how I saw it. There was very little physical contact the first three or so times.

 

As far as my car goes, I drive a tahoe with a bench style seat in the front so there isnt really a lot in the way. But point taken, I agree it is a bit awkward.

 

Maybe drinks afterwards would be a good idea. But I think I may run into the same situation of finding a secluded place. Or am I am putting too much into that and should just not worry about how alone we are?

 

Fair enough about the dates!

 

For the first kiss, I would probably like to be kissed somewhere relatively dark (because I would be blushing like crazy), and with not too many people around... whatever that translates to. All of my first kisses have been on my doorstep/street!

 

Maybe you could invite her over to your place to have dinner? If you've known her for a while, it wouldn't be too forward.

 

My only other piece of advice: don't ask if you can kiss her before you do. Personally, I really hate that!

[applelover]

Thank you for the advice Sophie. I am glad you brought up the asking thing because that is something I had been considering even though I have never done it before.

 

Do you think my assesment of her being interested is accurate or am I seeing things the way I want to see them?

[sophie274]

Thank you for the advice Sophie. I am glad you brought up the asking thing because that is something I had been considering even though I have never done it before.

 

Do you think my assesment of her being interested is accurate or am I seeing things the way I want to see them?

 

It can be hard to know on these boards because obviously we're only getting your side of the situation! However, most women I know would not continue to accept dates that include physical contact if they were not interested. I think she is probably waiting for you to kiss her! Even if you have misinterpreted and she is not interested, better to find out now that invest yourself even more.

 

About the asking: I really can't speak for everyone, but I feel very strongly about it. It makes me feel very put on the spot, and makes the first kiss so awkward. I also think that it's usually pretty clear if I want to be kissed, so no need to ask.

[applelover]

I am really bad at reading the signals. I kind of figured she wouldnt expose herself to situations that she didnt want to be in. I think her response to the text I sent about liking spending time with her was positive. She has told me I crack her up. When we are together and I suggest something we should do together sometime she agrees or names something she wants to do. Now I dont think she is using me because she will offer to pay when we go out. Is that a sign of it just being friends? She'll say something like you paid last time its my turn. She doesnt put up too much of a fight if I dont let her, but she'll then say she'll pay for the next one. I have been the one to plan all our dates so far but we agreed it was her turn to plan one.

[sophie274]

I think you need to take a deep breath, relax, and try to be optimistic and upbeat! You could agonize about this for a long time. I don't think her offering to pay for dates is a sign of anything, except that she likes to pay her share! I really think she likes you, ask her out and make your move!