Was I wrong?

[sophia88]

My ex bf and I broke up once in December (he left me for another girl, but decided he "loved me too much" and we tried to give it another try) We started off doing just fine, we were doing our own things and things were going well. Then he started to become more distant and more stressed.

 

I guess he thought we were getting too attached again (one problem we had before our first break-up) He closed me as well with most of his family out of his life. He wasn't affectionate and I felt that he didn't treat me like he should have. This is where I'm confused about myself...

He broke my heart for another girl, he begged me to take him back and I was hesitant at first. He said he loved me and that I was right for him in this time of his life. So as time goes by, things at home become stressful for him and he knew that he wanted to move away. Of course, he always wanted me to come along. However, about 2 weeks ago he became more and more distant. I talked to his mom about it and she said maybe just give him space.

 

So last week I asked him if he wanted space, he said he did, I wanted to give him all the space he wanted but he wasn't sure where I fit in his life after this space. It seemed unfair to me to come back to me, then sort of change your mind again. I felt like he wanted to keep me around as a crutch of some sort. I felt like he only wanted me as a friend, and nothing more.

 

A few days ago, I asked him if he thought our relationship was worth fighting for, he didn't really answer. I said that I had to end it because I didn't want someone who was going to question our relationship. He then said he was afraid of commitment, we dated for 2 years...

 

Ultimately, he wants to be free and able to date people, or I guess that's what it comes down to.

Was I wrong for breaking up with him? I felt like he was eventually going to break up with me, so I think I did it so I wouldn't have my heart shattered again. I always see quotes about how to not give up on someone no matter how much you love them.

 

I miss him and I'm still in love with him I just don't think he feels the same towards me. and I don't think it's fair for him to hold my heart on a thread.

Need help/encouragement.

[qqqq]

No you wern't wrong. You did the right thing. He left you for someone else and then begged you to take him back which you did (a lot of people wouldn't) and then has the nerve to go and treat you like that. He probably felt guilty for leaving and 'oh no what have i done' and then fell back into his old ways. You were familiar to him. He wanted that back. He got it, then once he did, didn't want it.

 

You deserve so much more.

 

You did the right thing breaking it off. He cant commit to you. or he's doing a real half-assed job at it.

 

Even though your heartbroken, try to keep busy and keep your mind off him. Go out. Dont sit around and do nothing coz it'll only allow your mind to go over it. Kind of show him your not heartbroken in a way, and go have fun. Kinda like your better off with out him (which you are!).

 

He might come running back once he's fully realised what he's lost. So dont contact him at all. Kind of drop off the face of the earth. If he doesn't contact you, it shows you his true feelings...

 

you'll find someone who appreciates you and doesn't mess you around and doesn't always need 'space'.

[Anna.]

He doesn't know what he wants. You were right to leave him. And he hurt you with another woman. that's almost unforgivable to me. There are better men out there.

[ladyjp]

He is playing you. The whole " I am afraid of committment " thing is a camaflouge for I don't want to be committed to YOU. I just went thru this same thing with a Man. He strung me along for 3 months making me think he needed time, space, wasn't sure of committment, blah blah blah. It is a copout.

Move on and find a real Man that knows how to treat a woman and isn't afraid to show it.

[waveseer]

He is playing you. The whole " I am afraid of committment " thing is a camaflouge for I don't want to be committed to YOU. I just went thru this same thing with a Man. He strung me along for 3 months making me think he needed time, space, wasn't sure of committment, blah blah blah. It is a copout.

Move on and find a real Man that knows how to treat a woman and isn't afraid to show it.

 

This is so right on.

[ScorpiGal83]

My ex was like this. To be honest even though I still love him and all, when he wanted to break up one thing i felt most of all was RELIEVED that the drama was over. No more pushing and pulling, no more yo-yoing, no more worrying abt him feeling like he wants out, when he says he wants in... basically, no more stringing me along.

 

You did the right thing, hun.