Is LOVE needed in a relationship?

[Girl wants EX]

Do you need love to appreciate a relationship?

 

Is it necessary to have love for a good relationship?

[ellandroader]

I think you do. You have to love yourself to know your boundaries and accept that you deserve a good relationship and in turn, be able to love your partner enough for them to know and feel appreciated and give them that boost. Vulnerability for you and them is important.

 

Of course, that is for a good relationship.

[Goldilocks]

For a good relationship there needs to be equal love of each other in my opinion.

 

Otherwise one will realised they are loved less, and I think both in the end unhappy because the settled for less than what they truly desire.

[dostal_m]

yes love is usually needed. and like was said before you need to love yourself before you can truly understand how to love. but it depends on the realtionship, if your in an unhealthy realtionship than i guess love is not needed, but if you want a realtionship thats positive for you than love should always be an aspect.

 

[Lamour detruit]

If the mutual love isn't there,you're in a relationship for all the wrong reasons and you will not be as happy as you deserve to be, simple as that . You do not need love to appreciate it, however you do need it to maintain it and wake up every morning with a smile on your face because theres no where you'd rather be at that moment. That said, the love is only a piece of the puzzle that is needed to maintain a healthy relationship,not the one thing that will make it work.

[COtuner]

I don't know anymore. I think good friendship and compatability become more important than love as a relationship matures because mine started falling apart from just love. Love alone is not enough.

 

If I could find a best friend who loved me and I loved him, I'd be in seventh heaven. Not sure if I ever will find that, though.

[Batya33]

It depends how you define love I think. I think you need both "friendship" love and romantic love but I don't think you need to be deliriously smitten -- you need to be able to revive those smitten feelings - that strong spark - especially when the honeymoon phase settles down and real life kicks in - both of you need to be able to revive that - but expecting to feel that way all or most of the time would sound more like the person was invested in how he/she felt rather than caring for the other person. That person would more likely be a serial monogamist - leaving a relationship once the initial high dies down and requires effort of any kind to revive.

 

I think you need a solid foundation of love - meaning, the actions of love -being inspired to give to the other person and actively giving of yourself -- in the way the other person can accept that love if at all possible (and that takes time - before you know each other for example it might seem like the other person wants to be gushed all over as signs of caring but in reality the other person would rather swoon when she sees that her partner stocked her refrigerator with her favorite orange juice, remembering the particular brand she liked).

 

When times are stressful that active love - and the commitment that goes along with it (because I don't really see the point of being a loving person in a romantic relationship without also having a commitment to that person -- to me, the commitment is one of the most important parts of loving) -- is what makes you stop before saying something hurtful and makes you motivated to work things out instead of running away.

 

Love as a feeling only - sure, that feels yummy - but it's the loving actions that are far more important for a lasting relationship, in my opinion.

[Girl wants EX]

Can 2 good friends have a healthy romantic relationship? without sparks?

[Batya33]

Can 2 good friends have a healthy romantic relationship? without sparks?

 

I think you need at least some physical attraction and a desire to be sexually intimate in order to have a romantic relationship -- the spark can be stronger at times - or even seem to disappear at times - but in general the two people should have some degree of sexual chemistry.

 

That is a separate issue from love - you don't need to be in love to be in a romantic relationship.

[Girl wants EX]

So: Friendship + physical attraction = Loving/romantic relationship ?

[Zeitgeist]

I think it is necessary, but I also think it depends on how one defines love. And I think you'll find that everyone defines it differently. While there's validity to each definition, I would argue that those who point to Twilight as an example of love are either dysfunctional or 12 year old girls.

[charlotte_skye]

I wonder this myself. I have an ex who tells me he is in a relationship with his 'best friend' and that it is impossible to have a lover AND a friend. I guess this means he is teling me that he is not IN love with his partner but is happy with the relationship as they get along well, hes sure it will last because of this and maybe cos in the end the sparks die down anyways.

he also told me he doesnt want a relationship that requires any effort and as they are friends they hardly ever go through 'hard' times.

 

I personally think this is a sad way to live, but maybe like other posts have said, everyone defines love differently. I guess it comes down to what you are okay with and what you need.

 

Maybe to him security and no effort required is more important than sparks.

 

I dunno. Just what I think might be the case.

 

Can I ask why you ask? Is this a situation you are in or somebody else?

[Unknown1607307972]

I need it because I need to be able to feel that bond and have them return it, or else I can never be truly open with them and will always be defensive over some parts of who I am.